Mother banned from school for confronting son's bully

[2kidzandi]

here She's no longer allowed to take her own son to his classroom. How are you supposed to deal with bullies and parent bullies then? I hate confrontation but I think the schools response is awful, I hope she challenges this and wins.

Would she have got paid for the feature (can't call it an article)? Maybe she'll be able to afford a trip to R&P for one that fits better?

she so isn't a mner, if she was she would know only to show off a nice colour of bra in stead of trying to pretend she has frilly skin

Wish my DS's school would do that.

They send out pathetic messages in the newsletter saying "could parents please not confront children in the playground about school disputes. Please resolve these via your child's teacher" or something along those lines.

2 days after the last one I witnessed Ghastlymum confronting a 9 year old about biscuits. FGS.

Mind you, if the school only pays lip service to sorting out bullying (which many of them do including DS's school) then you can see why parents feel helpless and do go through the wrong channels. If the right ones don't work...

You're certainly all being very horrid about her whatever her son has/hasn't had to endure.

It's the media effect, Callisto ... the desensitivisation that is an effect of a "story" appearing in the "Daily Mail".

As Baudrillard might say: "Is it real at all?"

I really do wonder about the worth of stories like this in the national media. Obviously, for the journalist/mother she gets to a. put pressure on the school b. put her side of the story c. appear in the national press in her bra.

But what's in it for us - the readers?

Is there any general conclusion we are supposed to draw from this?

eg.

If you go into a class of five year olds and "calmly" tell them to stop "bullying" your son, you may be banned from the school but you may get to flash your baps in the DM?

or

This school may/may not be very good at dealing with social interaction in the lower school?

Not much there, really, is there?

So no wonder we don't take it very seriously.

It's taking us for a herd of llamas.

I think the school did the right thing. The "bully" was another five year old and kids use the term "bullying" excessively.

If she had a problem she should have discussed it with the class teacher, headteacher or if that failed the governors.

We don't know what her pfb brat did to the other kid.

No I disagree.

One of the reasons the DM is so successful, is it because it knows its readership v. well and it taps into their sources of fury/ sadness/ confusion/ hatred really effectively.

There are countless threads on MN about schools paying lip service to dealing with bullying and yet their children having to endure months of bullying. This article taps into the fury and helplessness so many people feel about this issue, which is why the DM run s it - it's not talking to MN, it's talking to a DM readership.

Did anyone see The Street last night? Had a storyline like this on it.

God why has this woman's child become a pfb brat all of a sudden?

RT, the article mentions "several complaints to teachers".

That's where she went wrong. Teachers, governors, LEA, councillor... she just went straight to the meejah by the look of it.

Although since it is in the DM, would take nothing for granted.

Nice point MsBeatitude. And i was nodding away at your earlier one about frustration too, though I didn't say so.

That was @ the DM, btw. Not that I radically disagree with anything else ... [Cherry rambles off, semi-coherently...]

I find the personal insults you're all chucking at this woman very distasteful and not in the spirit of MN. So what if she is lying/a journo/a mad woman. She might actually be telling the truth. Who knows? But really not nice to slag her off for an unfortunate photo (and one that I've no doubt she is probably mortified about).

she is a bad judge of suitable clothing to make a complaint

She was on the radio speaking about this yesterday and she sounded perfectly sane, just exasperated because the school refused to do anything about her son coming home covered in bruises.
She had complained to teachers and the head, but her son was still being used as a kickbag.

I really don't think her taste in clothing should determine whether she's allowed to object to her child being regularly kicked and beaten at school.

Am quite shocked by some of this reverse snobbery tbh. Just because she's in the DM, doesn't mean her complaints aren't valid.

Oh and I hate the DM btw.

Thing is, I do still think it is extraordinarily difficult to be a reader of this kind of thing.

I completely get that this plays into a wider issue of "bullying" and how schools deal with this sort of stuff

BUT

we just cannot tell, from that article, where this particular story does fit in.

We just have to fill in so much from our own personal experience and surmise.

Yes, I get that she might be a mum completely frustrated by a system that will not assist her.

But

Many other situations are equally possible. Including that she is an over-empowered mother of a pfb, who went into a classroom and physically intimidated a group of five year olds and is now using her access to power to further bully the school, who have offended her by treating her like any other parent and banning her for that.

Thing is - we just don't know. All options are possible. All these interpretations are possible. From the article, none is more valid than any other.

Which returns to the point of this story. Which is ... what? To feed into a general worry and concern about schools and bullying? To give power to this one, individual woman (legitimately or illegitimately?).

I don't know. I think it's odd.

There are many reasons people turn to the press, some good, some bad. But, at the end of the day, I think we, as readers have every right to ask what's in it for us about storied like this.

And, for what it's worth, I do think many schools deal very badly with incidents of bullying, and proto-bullying, etc.

oh yes I agree with you cb.

Just a bit surprised that the consensus appears to be that she's an over-empowered mother with a PFB brat. She might be of course. But I don't think we should assume it just because it's the DM.

[Cherry now feeling a bit guilty about earlier bra comment. Wants to say "But it was so funny seeing a bra in that picture ..." in a whiney voice. Realises really, really mustn't.]

I had to restrain and remove a parent from my class once, the safety of the children was involved. You can't let an angry adult sort things out on school premises, some of our parents used the nearby car park as an arena for yelling and fighting instead.
I'm not attempting to deny or defend if the child was being bullied, but she shouldn't have tackled the child directly on school premises without the child's parents there.

Totally agree.

But how comes some schools are so firm about this and some are so rubbish?

This happens regularly at my DS's school. And the school is so crap that it doesn't ban parents, I wish it would.

In primary, it's down to the headteacher. Strong leadership about how to tackle difficult areas is the key to a clear and consistent response. If you are not going to get any backing at the chalkface, or if indeed the head disagrees with how a teacher handles a situation, then that's a problem.
Every school should have a clear and non-woffly anti-bullying policy that is available to all and strictly followed. But many don't.
I've got a crap headteacher, a bloke who is full of woffle and indecision who seems to want everyone to like him, and who is a pendulum when it comes to making decisions.

ooh i wonder if it was her?