Page 2 | MUMSNET and MADELEINE - does this one issue show the best of the worst of MN?

theBFG · 05/05/2009 09:40

the circumstances of her disappearance meant that this was always going to be a contentious topic though. If MM had disappeared from the beach/by the pool there would never have been this level of discussion about it, because that could potentially happen to any child, whereas most were immediately struck by the fact that the child disappeared at a time when no adult was looking after her.

And the huge amount of publicity means that the circumstances have always remained at the forefront of peoples' minds.

LauriefairycakeeatsCupid · 05/05/2009 09:47

The thing is, we are not the law. Of course I would want the case proven beyond doubt and the judge and the jury to think them innocent until proven otherwise.

But we don't need to consider them innocent on here. Providing we don't say they are evil and definitely murdered her surely we can speculate about what is possible and likely.

I didn't see anyone say they killed her. I only read people speculating dispassionately.

I don't know why people get het up about this - I would expect to be considered the number one suspect if dd went missing as that is the most likely scenario. I would expect the police to question me until they were convinced I didn't and start to look elsewhere.

inscotland · 05/05/2009 09:51

But a poster did (I can't recall exact words) accuse the McCann's of hurting Maddie and are using the fund to finance their own lifestyles.

Anyhoo, this is all going to kick off again so I am walking away.

I am all for a good debate. We'll never all agree on everything but yesterday was a disgrace.

izyboy · 05/05/2009 09:54

Yes but we do need perspective Laurie and no matter how much some people want to speculate - that is all that it is - speculation Until the Mccanns are proven guilty (there is not even a court case pending), in this country they should be considered innocent. Anything else is speculation and should be viewed as such and some accusations may even be libelous.

izyboy · 05/05/2009 10:01

I agree inscotland there is a side of me that does not want to post (even in an attempt at rationality) because it is continuing to bump this sort of thread.

onebatmother · 05/05/2009 10:05

Hope you've all got big libel funds put aside.
I imagine that a court would find MN jointly and individually culpable.

Please. This is not about freedom of speech. It's about prurient speculation and the reduction of the (probably horrific) death of a child to the status of a soap opera plot.

Mumcentreplus · 05/05/2009 10:06

...

izyboy · 05/05/2009 10:06

Absolutely onebat.

Robespierre · 05/05/2009 10:06

I think that this thread was started in a trouble-making spirit, by someone who knows that the presence of multiple threads on the McCann topic is destructive for Mumsnet. I notice that the OP posted and then did not in any way whatsoever contribute to the discussion.

I think it is great that former mumsnetters come back to the site, but I also think that it is not very nice or constructive to come back in this manner.

Lemontart · 05/05/2009 10:09

To answer the op "best and worst" aspect:

Best - no not really. I read the M threads and most left me cold. A lot of the "nice" comments seemed rather sentimental and not "genuine" in the sense of grounded fact/reality as it was all based on media fed info and our own parenting "worst nightmare" fears. Not saying the comments were meaningless, just not really representing the best mumnset can offer us.
The best of mumsnet for me (and obv. subjective) involves wading a little further back in time to a handful of memorable threads supporting and caring about different people and their families through crisis and celebrations. Also those hilarious ones about all sorts of nonsense that just flows along in the moment.

Worst - unfortunately they have scraped the bottom of mumsnet and this is bad but just one of many examples to be found over the last 6 months or so. What a wide bottom mumnset seems to have right now too I find it harder and harder to find a lengthy thread that doesn?t contain spite/hatred/judgmental statements/lashing out/thoughtless and hurtful opinions. While the dreaded moldie threads caused a lot of hurt and upset, I am beginning to understand why some left even if still not impressed with the "how" they did it. If mumsnet doesn?t "buck up" soon and stop a lot of the disgraceful threads in the name of debate and "entitled to our opinions sod the lot of you" attitude then I imagine more and more longer term members will be tempted to drift off. I have been around since 2002 in one shape or another, drifting off, returning, lurking, posting loads etc and wonder if this latest drifting off of mine might be signalling a more definite change away. Mumsnet is supposed to be about support, having a laugh, debating, disagreeing, agreeing, sharing, learning, coping, caring. Right now is feels edgy, judgemental, over opinionated and at times very callous. This is turning into a rant but not intended. My tone is more of a sad, reflective, slightly disappointed one.

inscotland put it far more effectively than me - I too am all for a good debate and agree that we will never agree on everything - part of the attraction of the place. However yesterday was a total disgrace. Glad to see Justine wisely pulled the plug on it when she did. Some of those posters should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves.

End of rant - apologies for lengthy post. I needed to get that lot off my chest as been building up for a while!

Mumcentreplus · 05/05/2009 10:12

wow! now the court cases have already begun..

Robespierre · 05/05/2009 10:20

BrendaAndEddie, do you wish to give your views on the thread that you started, or was your intention just to stir up dissent in a community of which you are not a member, or at least under a name that the community will not recognise? Isn't that trolling?

onebatmother · 05/05/2009 10:24

of course robespierre. pissed off with self for feeding.

Original poster

BrendaAndEddie · 05/05/2009 10:26

I agree with OBM on the soap opera thing.

OP posts:

Original poster

BrendaAndEddie · 05/05/2009 10:26

"BrendaAndEddie, do you wish to give your views on the thread that you started, or was your intention just to stir up dissent in a community of which you are not a member, or at least under a name that the community will not recognise? Isn't that trolling? "

No sorry I just forgot about the thread.

OP posts:

Robespierre · 05/05/2009 10:29

Really? I enjoyed your wicker basket thread, but I thought that this one was just to pick at old scabs and make mumsnet look bad.

BitOfFun · 05/05/2009 10:30

Bren, do you think it might be an idea to ask for it to be pulled? I've got a feeling that it will just act as a magnet for a lot of nastiness like the other one, and rile everyone. Maybe you could do a Tuesday filth thread instead? < hopeful >

Robespierre · 05/05/2009 10:33

(I am T h r e a d w or m btw -- I shouldn't stay hidden to mners when I am expressing irritation at unfamiliarity of your name brenda. )

Original poster

BrendaAndEddie · 05/05/2009 10:34

yes maybe but it was ages ago I started it wasnt it?
I havent resrruected it.
Mn will ban if they want to.

ANd i have no desire to make mn look bad

OP posts:

BitOfFun · 05/05/2009 10:36

I saw a Fredworm yesterday and wondered who it was!

bigchris · 05/05/2009 10:36

ages, lol I thought you meant a year ago, twas on Monday
yes I think mumsnet will pull if they see fit, just like the other one

Picante · 05/05/2009 10:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

daftpunk · 05/05/2009 10:41

well whoever she is she's a trouble maker with a capital T

Original poster

BrendaAndEddie · 05/05/2009 10:42

Listen, I have every right to post on here without my personal life being brought into ANY thread I am on,
mind you to be called a trouble maker by dp is something else!

OP posts:

daftpunk · 05/05/2009 10:43

i would never have started a thread like this...you have