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Original poster

register for domestic abusers?

52 replies

beanieb · 08/03/2009 23:07

story

"A register of people who have attacked their partners could help prevent other potential victims of domestic abuse, the government has said.

The creation of a database monitored by police is one of several plans to be unveiled by the Home Office on Monday. "

good idea?

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 08/03/2009 23:18

Bloody good idea!!!
I inform all new partners of my ex of his past behaviour.......I told him I would and I do!! Both of them have informed me how I was right. He hit them too. And has now moved on to the stepchildren as the partner he is still with says'just one more chance'...

edam · 08/03/2009 23:23

interesting idea. Not quite sure how it would work in practice. But has to be worth discussing

Would it make violent men think twice, if they knew any future partner would be warned about their behaviour?

nancy75 · 08/03/2009 23:30

how would it work, would you go to the police when you met your new boyfriend and get the ok?
would somebody think twice before being violent, or would they asume their name would never make it on to the list, at the moment i guess most violent men assume their partner won't report them or they wouldn't do it?

StercusAccidit · 08/03/2009 23:31

Bloody great idea to help protect the kids in the next relationship they move on to.

The mum should be warned of his previous behaviour.
However, i do see a problem.

The SS may use it to remove children when they have informed the mother that her new partner was previously violent even though he may never be violent again..ok its a long shot but one i thought worth bringing up.

As long as its not used as a tool to break up families.. there should be support and counselling available to the victim and the perpetrator. I hate violence but to label and not help these people and have them registered (maybe for life) .. how is that going to work in practise?

I bet it never comes about anyway. Too much breach of human rights stuff going on there.

edam · 08/03/2009 23:37

take your point, stercus, but it seems at least in some cases SS currently wait until a woman gets pregnant before turning up and saying, by the way, your partner has done something terrible, we'll take your baby if you don't ditch him.

StercusAccidit · 08/03/2009 23:41

Yup. They tried similar with me and failed miserably.

The evil sods are so upset about it they haven't accepted my gracious offer to see my new baby and partake of a cuppa char whilst they do so.

Ignorant fkers
Or sore losers

fattiemumma · 09/03/2009 07:58

This is a people pleaser and will never come to fruition. it breaches so many different aspects of confidentiality and huiman rights issues. its juts not going to happen.

I like the idea in theory but even as someone who has experienced severe abuse at the hands of a violant man, i still don't think the government could be trusted to implement such a strategy

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 09/03/2009 12:30

I don't think it's a people pleaser.

Most people simply don't think DV is all that important and most surveys still reveal that many people blame the victims.

edam · 09/03/2009 12:33

well yes, fattiemumma, I can see there will be 1001 objections to do with civil liberties, innocent until proven guilty (of 'future' crimes) etc. etc. etc.

But I do hope the discussion is worth having and provokes some ideas about stopping violent men (or women) who seek out more and more victims.

Stercus, I can imagine that if you are pregnant and excited and obviously love and trust your partner, it would be very hard to have some SW turning up out of the blue saying 'ditch him or we'll take your baby'. The obvious threat comes from the state, not from the man you know and love. You'd have to do quite a bit of turning your thinking around before you could merrily say, oh, OK then, I don't know you from Adam, but I'll listen to you because you are a complete stranger who is threatening my baby...

Would be much better if SS could warn people before it gets to that point.

edam · 09/03/2009 14:24

Golly head of Refuge attacked home sec saying the plans were crap!

fattiemumma · 10/03/2009 07:54

I have to agree with everything she said.

these plans are just an appeasment. everyone involved knows that they will never reac fruition. its a vote winner thats all.

the time for talking is past and we should be concentrating on making sure that every single man who IS reported gets convicted and is then given a REAL sentence!

once men get to understand that such behaviour WILL NOT be tolerated by society they may be less inclined to abuse.

we don't need new schemes and registers. we need to implement and make better use of the laws we already have.

Violence in the home is unacceptable. that needs to be hammered home with tough sentencing

cory · 10/03/2009 08:05

Just one thought: what happens if both partners report each other? Will they both go on the register?

cory · 10/03/2009 08:14

Not that I don't think abusers shouldn't be reported. But I think there could be problems with a register like this being used wrongly and so being brought into disrepute.

There is a problem with the standard of proof. One malicious partner reporting her (or his!) ex could do a lot of damage- both to him and any successive family, and to the register as such.

What I would really like to see is more charges pressed instead. More support to the victims of DV. More education about DV. More police training.

mayorquimby · 10/03/2009 11:31

depends. in theory i think it's a good idea, but then what does it say about the supposed "reform" aspect of the system.
i think it's a good idea for say maybe anyone convicted and sentenced to a custodial sentence.
but to even discuss it further i'd really need to know how they would define DV, would it only be for systematic long term abusers or would anyone "snapped" once as it were and slapped their partner be put on? would it only be for those in relationships and what kind of knock on affect would it have for other laws regarding assault? also of course the issues of who'd have access to it etc,

in theory i do think it's a good idea, however in practoce i would think it to be unworkable.

slug · 10/03/2009 11:44

And while they are at it, why not a register of men who dodge child support? Wouldn't that be great for employers to check before interview?

N1 · 10/03/2009 22:05

I would put my name forward to be on the register of child support dodgers, though I would insist on a comment box where I could insert my own comments about why my name is on the register.

This register for DV people. I am also interested in knowing about the standard of proof needed.

What about argumentative people who provoke men to lash out, so the arguer can punish the man by putting his name on the register. Should there be a register for them??

solidgoldbrass · 10/03/2009 22:14

I think it sounds utterly dubious and pointless. For one thing, even if a woman is told her new partner is On the Register, is she going to be legally compelled to chuck him? Or refused help if she decides to trust him ('because his XW was a bitch/it only happened once/he was drunk when he did it/his XW is making it up') and he then goes on to abuse her?
And I would agree there would need to be some standard of proof before a man (or indeed a woman) could be put on the register.

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 10/03/2009 22:18

N1 you are a preposterous little man. If a man has so little control of himself that he can be compelled to lash out by what someone else is saying, then he is a public danger and frankly doesn't sound capable of being given the vote.

If you are an adult, you are responsible for your own actions. Nobody forces you to lash out, you choose to do it. Saying "she made me" versus "I take responsibility for my actions" is the difference between a child and an adult.

N1 · 10/03/2009 22:31

I think that even the most patient people can be driven into a corner and forced to lash out. I was just wondering if it' "first offense" people who get added as well.

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 10/03/2009 22:38

No N1 they are not forced to lash out. That is an abuser speaking. Adults take responsibility for their emotions and their actions. They choose to lash out.

And a first offence is very often the culmination of a series of abusive incidents. Figures show that the average victim of domestic abuse is attacked over 30 times before she first phones the police. So a "one-off" usually isn't a one off - it's a thirty-fourth incident.

fattiemumma · 10/03/2009 22:38

the term domestic abuse is so far reaching it is simply proposterous to even contemplate any kind of register.

at what stage do you go from a heated row to domestic abuse? at which stage is it a perfectly normal argument and then progressing to cause you entry to a register?

what happens when your on the register? do they inform all future girlfriends? then what? what if she wasn't warned, could she then sue the police for not protecting her if he hist her in future?

its utterly ridiculous and ill concieved. typical government shite.

stop with teh gimmicks and enforce the laws we already have. i just dont see why its so difficult.

N1 · 10/03/2009 22:50

HerBeatitudeLittleBella And a first offence is very often the culmination of a series of abusive incidents. Figures show that the average victim of domestic abuse is attacked over 30 times before she first phones the police. So a "one-off" usually isn't a one off - it's a thirty-fourth incident.

If the man (or woman) is hitting out into double figure number of times. They should have a record. I am not convinced the record should be a register though.

solidgoldbrass · 10/03/2009 23:47

LittleBella: but how do you see this register actually working? Given that many women will choose to think that it must have been a mistake/it will be different with them. While I do think that the perpetrators of domestic violence should be convicted and, where necessary, imprisoned for their crimes (in which case their conviction would be a matter of public record) I can't see this register idea being anything other than witless state meddling. Should women/men be obliged to look up new partners to see if they are on the register - and then, if they either don't check, or don't believe what they find, should they then be held responsible for their own fate if a partner does abuse them?

duchesse · 10/03/2009 23:58

It's a fab idea, although tattooing "utter tw@ and violent arsehole" on their foreheads when they're asleep would be so much more effective...

slug · 11/03/2009 09:39

N1 there is no excuse for not supporting your child. We all know that you think your ex-wife deserves to be punished for daring to leave you, but no matter how much you try to justify your despicable behaviour, no one on this site is going to support you in this one.