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Social services remove young children from grandparents and arrange adoption by gay couple

270 replies

EldonAve · 28/01/2009 07:56

Social services remove young children from grandparents and arrange adoption by gay couple

"social workers stepped in after allegedly deciding that the couple, who are aged 59 and 46, were "too old" to look after the children."

Is 46 really too old?

OP posts:
JollyPirate · 29/01/2009 17:29

..we don't know the circumstances folks - lets be clear on this. If the grandparents were able to look after these children social services would place them there. Believe me I see children placed with grandparents occasionally - not always satisfactorily either. There is the thought that having fecked up their own children that some grandparents should not be afforded the luxury of fecking up the next generation. Has anyone thought that there might JUST be a bit more to this story than meets the eye.

The Daily Mail only make this front page news because it will sell their crappy paper.

If these children are safe, well and happy then I feel happy for them - no matter what the sex or sexual orientation of the adoptive parents. This is NOT a political issue - there are children's lives at stake and they have to come first. The children need to be placed where they will have the best chance of settling and being happy - NOT placed to placate the readers of the Daily Mail and their ilk. End of.

wannaBe · 29/01/2009 17:33

"There is the thought that having fecked
up their own children that some grandparents should not be afforded the luxury of fecking up the next generation." Totally agree. They already have one child who turned out a drug addict. We don't know what the others are like do we?

sorrento · 29/01/2009 17:36

Oh so kids becoming drug addicts is the parents fault ?
Is there anything that isn't ?
Honestly we'll be handing them over to state control age 2 soon, oh sorry yes that's already being introduced isn't it.

CoteDAzur · 29/01/2009 17:38

Those privacy laws were recently changed iirc, so that we can know.

JollyPirate · 29/01/2009 17:45

Not saying at all that it's the grandparents fault their daughter is a drug addict. Just saying that we don't know what the circumstances are.

CoteDAzur · 29/01/2009 17:46

Do you have any idea how many people use drugs in the UK?

Just to give you an idea - 730,000 people take ecstasy, 1,200,000 people use cocaine (and no, they are not all the same people), 2,000,000 regularly use marijuana in the UK. And all that is not even the real heard core stuff like heroin, meth and crack.

And you are seriously saying that the parents of these millions "fecked" them up?

There are not many good parents in the UK, then.

CoteDAzur · 29/01/2009 17:47

"If these children are safe, well and happy then I feel happy for them"

As any children taken away from their grandparents and put in the care of strangers would be, right?

ICANDOTHAT · 29/01/2009 17:48

Wannabe that's a huge generalisation towards anyone with a child who has turned to drugs, don't you think? My sister's oldest son is currently undergoing drug rehab and you couldn't wish for a better mother/parent. She is heart broken and devastated by what her son and her whole family are going through. There but for the grace of God ......

sorrento · 29/01/2009 17:48

"There are not many good parents in the UK, then."
Probably not in truth, but love them and doing your best used to be enough.

daftpunk · 29/01/2009 17:50

true JP, and the grandfather is 59!

not sure placing the children with a gay couple is the right thing though..?

StewieGriffinsMom · 29/01/2009 17:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

wannaBe · 29/01/2009 17:53

the thing is sorrento we don't know. Which is exactly why we can't judge.

But let's be honest here - given the choice between having my child adopted by a gay couple, or by the parents of at least one drug addict (who would most likely have access to the children if they are in the house), I know which I would choose.

Maybe it isn't the parents' fault that she's a drug addict. But maybe the parents still have contact with her, and therefore she might still have access to the children who have been taken away from her because of her unsuitability as a parent. Maybe that is why ss have decided the grandparents are not best placed to care for these children..?

We don't know why the children were taken from their mother. We don't know what she might have done to them/whether they might have been abused by her. And therefore we don't know whether it is appropriate that these children have any contact with her again, something which would be very difficult to enforce if the children are living in the grandparents' home.

CoteDAzur · 29/01/2009 17:54

If something happens to DH & me, we want DD to grow up in the care of my parents. They are now 65 and 70 years old.

Yes, they are not young and zippy, and hence will not be great playmates. So what? They love her more than anything in the world.

I shudder at the thought of some nanny state taking her away from her loving grandparents and placing her with strangers.

sorrento · 29/01/2009 17:56

So this 26 year old gets written off forever does she ?
Perhaps the grandparents thought that seeing her children might help her to kick the habit or motivate her to stay alive ?
An investigation seems to be being sought though which is good.

CoteDAzur · 29/01/2009 17:57

May I ask why mother cannot even see her children?

I'm not saying "Leave them in her care", even for a second. But why can't she see them under the supervision of responsible guardians? When sober, obviously.

wannaBe · 29/01/2009 17:58

ah, xpost with StewieGriffinsMom.

That indeed puts a very different slant on things.

daftpunk · 29/01/2009 17:58

i wonder how it would work cotedazur...if say (god forbid) me and dh died tomorrow...who would have my dc?

sorrento · 29/01/2009 17:59

Too be fair if she's hurt them physically then she shouldn't have contact because at that age a 4 or 5 year old would forgive any abuse because they love their mother.

StewieGriffinsMom · 29/01/2009 17:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ICANDOTHAT · 29/01/2009 18:00

I get the impression some of you think the typical drug addict goes about their daily business with needles hanging out of their arms and off their nut. Actually, some heroin addicts go about a fairly 'normal' day , holding down jobs, shopping at Tescos, going to the bank etc, etc. In fact, you may have been talking to one today and not even realised it.

I'm sure each case is 'worked' on it's own merits, but hope ss haven't shown the same kind of genralisation shown here when deciding what's best for these kids. Oh, and my children will be with my m&d if dh and I 'go' together - they are 66 and 69.

CoteDAzur · 29/01/2009 18:02

daftpunk - We don't live in the UK, and neither do my parents. So there is zero chance that any state would take DD from grandparents and force her adoption.

Still the thought makes me shudder.

wannaBe · 29/01/2009 18:02

"May I ask why mother cannot even see her children?" There's no way of knowing is there? The welfare of this woman's children will have come to the attention of ss somehow. Either because she has seriously neglected or abused those children - lots of people abuse drugs and alcohol and their children are never perceived to be at risk.

So maybe it's not just a case of her being a drug addict. Maybe it's a case of that she has physically or psychologically harmed those children to the extent that social services feel that adoption is the only safe option for them.

solo · 29/01/2009 18:07

Blimey! I'm nearly 45 and have a 2yo and 10yo. Am I too old too?! this is really shocking. Very sad for all concerned...

CoteDAzur · 29/01/2009 18:08

But she can't harm her children when seeing them under supervision, surely. So why prohibit all contact?

sorrento · 29/01/2009 18:08

No it says the grandparents have cared for them from birth so I find it hard to believe there's been much opportunity for abuse if granny and grandpa have been around, I bet the poor souls called SS expecting them to help.