Mother sues Daughter who wrote 'Ugly' the story of her childhood abuse

[beanieb]

story

This is one of those 'please daddy no' type books which I've called 'Grief Porn' on here in the past.

I think it's interesting that the mother's lawyers say the author has to prove what she has written is the truth. I would have thought the publisher of the book would have needed that proof too, I guess that is why she is suing both! Massive mistake on the Publisher's behalf if they didn't get it!

what 'proof' do they want exactly

Of course she is a barrister and I'm reasonably sure that she wouldn't go into print about a lie (not that I know her personally you understand).

Its entirely possible that her mother is in denial about the abuse or doesn't think that what she did constitutes abuse. It can't be good to read your dirty laundry and know that thousands of others are also reading it.

They say that she never once went to the police, social services or her teachers about the abuse. Also her four siblings are standing by their mother.

I don't suppose either of them can prove beyond a reasonable doubt.

beinie in rl sometimes people do not go to authorities about abuse

but convictions still happen

sometimes much much later

Sorry - posted too soon.

I think expecting her to have gone to social services, teachers or the police is awful. She may have been scared.

On the other hand if four siblings say she is lying, isn't that a bit odd?

Oh I do get that Otter, I just think, why choose to write a book about it, that everyone and anyone can read but not go to the police about it? Not that I know if she has or hasn't, and mayb she did and the police wouldn't persue it because it was so long ago.

I just find it interesting because for it to get to court something is not quite right somewhere.

Regardless of blame, I find these kind of books distasteful. I do not want to read about the torturing of an innocent - who does, whether real or imagined?

beanie

i was told by psychiatrist that writing things down and having them published often proved cathartic

Cathartic = writing things down/ expressing them

Getting published = Jordan/ Kerry Katona = money

no they said getting it out in public even under pseudonym can really ease pain and rid people of feeling trapped by un reported abuse

Oh - I can see how it would be Cathartic to write it down, but to have it published? and not go to the police then, once it was all out and press charges? Surely by publishing you must have no fear of exposure and no doubt that you are being truthful (and can back it up) so you should have no fear about going to the police, unless you think writing the book is punishment enough for the parent?

I'm thinking mostly in a legal sense. Is it Libel or Slander if it can't be proved?

seems fairly standard.
daughter has written a book saying the mother has done awful awful things buthas not gone to the police.
seemingly no more proof than one persons word against another so to outsiders like us both are just as likely to be lying/telling the truth.
you could be sure most people would be suing if they felt what had been written abot them were fabrications.

More people could probably sue than do, maybe this will open the floodgates?

Several of the authors of abuse memoirs in the US have now been discredited.
Investigative reporters have shown some to be complete fiction, and others to have been proved to have exaggerated alot of aspects of their stories. If publishers and authors are to be sued in those circumstances, I would welcome it.

Over the past decade this misery porn has become increasingly extreme and sensational - to the point of it being incredulous. It seems there is a good market in dwelling on the details of awful mistreatment of children (real or made up) for entertainment purposes. What does that say about our society? It leaves me cold - anything that may curtail this trend seems good to me.

I don't reckon the book is fabricated at all. I think part of the reason she's written it is to show that you can overcome even the most dreadful odds.

I agree with the questionable literary benefits of 'grief porn' sentiment. However sometimes these kind of stories need to be told.

A little girl might very well not go to the teachers/police about her own family. She might think it is normal behaviour. Even if she thinks it is not normal, it takes a lot of courage to 'shop' your own mother - I think even some adults might find that hard. She might have just been terrified of any repercussions if they found out.

Who knows why the other children are standing by their mother. Maybe they want some money out of it. Maybe they are jealous of her. Maybe the family dynamics are so warped and twisted that the mother still has a hold over all of them.

Don't see how you can compare this with Jordan or Kerry Katona??? Jordan is a megalomaniac, hell bent on making money and becoming famous. Kerry Katona came from a deprived background, but hasn't quite overcome her past in the same way as this author. It is also probably the only book I can think of which writes about a black girl from a poor family in London becoming a barrister. That alone would be very worthwhile, surely?

I wouldn't have thought the mother has a hope in hell of winning the case against her daughter who is a barrister (and judge I think)!

Conversely I wouldn't have thought the daughter would have written it if it didn't have an element of truth in it (too busy being a barrister and judge to be bothered).

i was at no point saying that it was or was not a fabrication just to be clear.
only that this would be a standard response from most people who had terrible things written about them that they obviously feel are untrue.
who is telling the truth i have no way of knowing without further evidence, but as there has been no legal proof (as of yet) and at the moment is just one persons word against another you can be sure most people would sue in such a case.

as for the daughter being a barrister, while it may help i doubt she'll represent hersefl (or does she plan to,i'm not too clear on the specifics) and presumably the mother will have just as competent legal representation.

Wasn't there a case like this not long ago? A story about a black woman who suffered poverty and abuse. The publisher thought it was all real, but only when an intrepid journalist tracked down the white author at her expensive home, did the truth finally emerge.

This book may or may not be true. But if you are going to publish accusations against someone, don't you think it would be better to go to the police first?

We've had more than our fair share of trolls on Mumsnet who've faked deaths, miscarriages and so on, so it does happen.

If my sister wrote a book detailing her experiences I am certain that every other member of our family would remember things quite differently. Not because anyone is lying, but because time gives different perspectives and memory is fickle. Abusive parents will also often be in denial.

iirc, the author claimed that she was the only one of the siblings to be a victim of the abuse, and her siblings believed she was deserving of her treatment in some way.

Yes but if you have been abused, what would prevent you from going to the police? Fear?

Yet what if you didn't go to the police but decided to write a book about it instead. You could hardly be called 'afraid' then could you?

Ok, she might have feared that he would not get a conviction. But how did she think publishing a book would help? Surely you would try to take them to court first? If you have the confidence to publicise a book about your experiences, then you have the confidence to take that person to court.

Nobody I know who has been abused has gone to the police or through the courts - why would you? Vengeance can be achieved through publicity and/or rejection. What is really to be gained from a criminal investigation but your word against theirs?

Well I shall follow the case with interest.