Parents in obesity denial

[needmorecoffee]

here

Thing is, all this national focus on obesity is making people neurotic. A healthy diet for small children is not the same as for adults.

Portion size and checking what's in manufactured food (loads of hidden sugar, fat and salt) is important, but I'm worried that we will raise a generation with real food issues. School is ALWAYS going on about healthy eating and it can make ds quite anxious.

BMI charts for children are quite misleading, too, better to go on the charts in the Red Book. I checked ds's BMI and it warned he was at risk of obesity - but he's full of muscle, like his dad. I really struggle to win if we have a playfight and he can carry bags of shopping that are too heavy for me at age five! I know he's not obese, I can see his ribs (you should be able to do this at his age) and he gets plenty of exercise and does not over-eat.

My dd is obese according to an hv. She's 18 months old. But she doesn't have a weight issue. Am I one of those 'in denial' parents?

the story wasn't talking about BMI but children who are genuinely obese and the parents deny it with 'oh its puppy fat'
There are many fat children out there (without hormonal or disability issues) whose parents just can't see it.

I agree with edam that the focus on obesity will create a generation of neurotic weight obsessed people.
I think that if we focused on getting the parents diet correct and they could set a good example - exercising eating health food - then the childrens diet and fitness would automatically fall into place. This would mean that they would not be targetted directly. I dont believe the school is the place for telling us what we can and cant eat especially at such a young age. (checking lunch boxes FGS! as I have read on here and making kids feel bad for having a biscuit instead of a carrot!)

I would disagree cos we are creating a generation of over-weight children. It just can't be tip-toed around anymore.
Some sort of education targeted at parents? re-introduction of cokkery classes.

Did see in one paper the idea that parents should be paid to walk to school rather than drive. tought that went a bit far.
Its not just diet but exercise too. We walked 2 -3 miles to school.

I think its not just school, needmorecoffee. We walked *everywhere!" We lived in a less paranoid society where children were allowed far more freedom. At my son's age I was going down to the bakery to get bread. I suspect that if my son did something similar I would get reported to social services. Also children played out more.

There needs to be far more education about portion control. You can get over weight on a good diet. It happpened to my son when he was at nursery. He had breakfast at 6am, then had breakfast at nursery, lunch, supper at 4pm and then he wanted to eat with us. Those extra meals made him fat. However he is slimming out nicely, but it has taken two years to get to where he is.

It also needs to be understood that there is no quick fix for getting a child to a normal weight. For a child to lose weight healthily takes months and possibly years, depending on the extent of the problem.

My fear is that without proper education adults will put their children on yo-yo diets. That will truely produce a generation of obsese kids.

The last person in the real world who said to me "according to his MBI Johnnie is obese but you can see he's fine, just strongly built" had a kid who was CLEARLY overweight. One of those podgy, jowly, unhealthy looking kids. His mum couldn't see it.

Kids should be skinny. That's their natural state.

showofhands - if your HV has said she is obese then I'd say yes, chances are very high you are one of those in denial parents. What are you doing with the information she has given you?

I don't know what the solution is but I think the idea of what a healthy 8 or 9 year old looks like has been lost.
I am not talking about a chubby 2-3 year old but by 8 or 9 surely good eating/exercise balance could have been established.

I agree with reallytired.. confining our children for their safety isn't good for them

I agree with princess. I too have heard, 'The charts say he's overweight, but he's not is he?' about an obviously fat kid.

"Kids should be skinny. That's their natural state. "

Don't be daft.

Kids come in all shapes and sizes. That is thier natural state. Just like the rest of the human race.

We need to teach children to celebrate diversity, whether its being black, having ginger hair, being skinny or fat. Being overweight is only a problem if it affects health.

I think being skinny is a child's natural state. Being fat isn't. A fat child will almost always become a fatter adult. More and more children are developing lifestyle-related diabetes. Is that their natural state and just part of diversity?

'Being overweight is only a problem if it affects health.'

But it does. It a high % of overweight kids you will get overweight adults with diabetes, joint problems, heart issues etc etc
Type 2 diabetes used to be an old persons problem. Now its a teenager issue. Thats shocking.
And mainly cos we too sissy to actually say 'that child is fat'

pph, my child is only technically obese. What my hv fails to recognise is that she is a tall, strong child who is completely in proportion, just not the size of an average child her age. She eats extremely healthily, is always outside playing, runs, climbs, is extraordinarily healthy, never gets ill and her weight is of no concern to me whatsoever. The same hv has been telling me she is obese since she was 12 weeks old because she has never been on those obligatory centile lines. She was exclusively bf for 7 months so if she was obese, then my milk made her that way. She follows a natural curve for weight and height, just doesn't correspond to the rules.

I wasn't questioning an alarming and sad obesity problem in this country, I was merely pointing out that the statistics used and the way we view weight in general needs assessing. Obesity is only part of the issue. Diet and lifestyle is a massive problem. My friend's dd is underweight, does no exercise and subsists on a diet of chocolate and crisps. This is as damaging I believe but because she sits nicely on a chart, nobody points the finger at her.

Well she was a thick health visitor if she didn't realise that weight is in proportion to height. I assume that your DD is also off the scale for height as that is the only way she would be in proportion?

I'm more concerned about the number of adults who are in denial about their own level of being overweight or obese.

As a snapshot of society I see numerous overweight or even obese parents in the playground at my dc school. Maybe a handful of children who could be regarded in this way (almost all of them in the Junior part of the school).

Yes, of course she is. She's on exactly the same line for both. Just a bit over the top line. Doesn't mean that my hv doesn't keep trying to write 'obese' all over the place. That's my point. If hcps can't recognise a healthy in proportion child from an actual overweight child, then at risk children aren't being properly picked up on.

I agree with reallytired that portion control can be an issue. I have been told by countless HVs that toddlers cannot overeat, and that they should be allowed unlimited potions. This may be the case with most toddlers.

However, my 20mo DD does not appear to be good at regulating her own food intake, and would easily eat adult portions if allow.

Because of the prevailing opinion about toddlers all being able to regulate their own food intake, I know that I am perceived by some as harsh for limiting second helpings and snack. But I know that without my help, DD would eat far more than is healthy for her.

"Just one in nine parents of obese or overweight children believe their child has a weight problem" could be read as this.

"nine out of ten parents think the government has got this obesity thing out of proportion"

Good point, onager.

I'm concerned that this (IMO) excessive focus on obesity will encourage those parents whose children suffer from what docs and dietitians call 'museli belt malnutrition'. Kids whose parents think they are eating a healthy diet, but it's completely inappropriate for young children - too much fibre, too little fat.

A sensible diet is about balance and that's being lost here. Schools that don't seem to have done any research into nutrition or taken any advice from dietitians demonising certain foods or singling out children for having a biscuit in their packed lunch are going to create a generation of faddy, unhealthy children with major hang ups.

Edam, I couldn't agree more. Clearly there are obese children and adults about (I'm going to be one of them unless I can fit more walking in) but this diet thing has all got out of hand.

There is a difficulty though, isn't there, because I want to feed us family meals. And I certainly don't need lots of fat.

My HV said she wasn't concerned about overweight toddlers as she said experience had shown that they were normally eating healthy food cooked from scratch and they got normal in a relatively short amount of time (and were often just late walkers). She said she had to watch the skinny ones more as they were more often fed on cr*p and were skinny as they weren't nourished and would get fat when they were school age. I thought that was quite interesting.

(She said it as justification for not needing to weigh one year olds as it didn't tell you anything).

I'm sorry but just do not believe for one minute that our 'obsessive focus on diet' is making our children skinny and undernourished. I think so-called muesli-belt malnutrition is a myth. I see far too many obese and overweight kids for that to make sense. What has a far greater effect on weight is the normalising effect of so many people - children and adults -being fat. We are in danger of forgetting what normal healthy thin kids look like. Our health service is buckling under the strain of the obesity epidemic. Our kids face dramatically reduced lifespans because of it. It's a health disaster. Anyway, got to go and exercise!

What ever you do in the next five minutes Don't think about PINK *RABBITS".

So what are you thinking about?

Its the same affect as when schools tell children not to eat sweets, chocolate or biscuits.

Parents need positive advice. If a child is overweight its not going to change over night. It has to be believed that its possible to get the child down to a sensible weight, but it has to be done gradually. This also applies to overwieght adults. You need a life change not a crash diet.

Ofcourse its possible to eat family meals and have a good adult and a good toddler diet. Toddlers can get the fat they need from milk at breakfast and bed time. Or by having more snacks than adults.