Work for dole

[ReallyTired]

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7514513.stm

I think that proposals like these are long over due. Although I think that if you make people work full time for their benefits they won't have time to look for job.

Prehaps they should work three days a week and look for a job two days a week.

There are people who for good reasons cannot work full time, but certainly could do something part time.

It is changing to claiming jobseekers rather than income support, Loriycs and first it will be when your child turns 12 but soon it is going to be at age 7. Will be more interesting to see the effect on childcare spaces.

Ah, that might explain the recent increase in the number of people registering as childminders in my area.

Tiwif - when is that happening and is it definite?

WTF is Tiwfi??
I meant twoif!

From the Welfare Reform Act 2007:

Youngest child 12 - October 2008

Youngest child 10 - October 2009 (didn't know about that one)

Youngest child 7 - October 2010 (have also heard that this was being brought forward to January 2009!)

And no worries hughjarssss, as long as it isn't an insult I'll answer!

thanks Two!

I might get flamed but I agree with that. But if they are going to bring it in for 10 year olds and 7 year olds they need to start providing cheaper childcare options, its not that easy to find term time jobs

Its not just that hugh(I'm sure it isn't that big)jarssss but my lone parent advisor (who isn't as useful as she could be) says there are not enough childcare providers as it stands in my area. Once this happens.

Well, it all depends how close you live to family members. One guy I worked with, his wife and sister started a job share when they both had babies, now that is jammy! Considering most p/t jobs are evening or weekend then it rules it out for most single parents.

But again I ask, why is it always the single parent who gets hit with the stick? There are plenty out there who don't have children, who aren't working and have no intention of ever working. Scrape the surface and you would probably find the majority of single parents only found themselves on benefits after becoming a single parent, most would have worked either up until or after having children then suddenly...boom...the world changes and as you are left to pick up the pieces you get this huge guilt thing from people who think they can tell you how to live your life, you aren't finding a job quick enough. I feel at least comforted in that I have my degree, aiming toward something to get us out of this and as I said, I volunteer which is a good idea. I paid into the system for 14 years, this is the first time I ever needed to go cap in hand to anyone and once out I will try never to do so again.

You just don't know what is ahead of you. (Not aimed at you this, hugh btw but to a general "you"!)

You raise really good points 2if that I hadn't even thought of.

Single parents are all tainted with the same brush and the truth is, any one of us could become a single parent at any time.
I can honestly say that I don't know how single parents cope, it must so hard without the social stigma that is attached as well.

I agree with many people in this thread that something needs to be to encourage more people back to work, it just doesn't look like anyone has come up with an idea that will work yet.

Hugh, if asked, just over a year ago, before I ended up in this situation, I wondered why single parents didn't work.

Then the proverbial hit the fan. It isn't as easy as I had thought and boy is this humbling.

But they don't put that in the articles, they don't think of that when making these plans. And we single parents are also the cause of delinquent children apparently.

What needs to happen is that the CSA has to be rehauled completely so we aren't a "burden" and dads that walked out (who are never the ones who pay) are made to pay for half the cost of raising their children - including a share of the childcare. Now that would work.

2if I hate the CSA as well but for different reasons.
My dp is an NRP and the IME the CSA screw over the NRP's that do pay and they don't bother with the ones that do everything they can to avoid paying IYKWIM.

I think its harsh to say that NRP'S should be made to pay half. My dp is not an NRP through choice and he didn't walk out. But since his ex cheated 13 yrs ago, he has built a new life with me, we have a baby dd and a mortgage. So it would be impossible for him to pay half. The CSA payments kill us as it is. If he had to pay half he wouldn't have been able to rebuild his life, and that isn't fair.
And dp is honestly one of the good ones, he always pays on time and has regular contact, he loves his dd to bits.

Dp's ex has just dragged us through a tribunal, everything she said was lies and she had not one shred of evidence. We eventually won but it was a year of hell, that shouldn't be allowed to happen.

So I do agree there needs to be a rehaul of CSA. The problem with the CSA is that it is such a mess, it screws bothe the PWC and the NRP.

hi,Twoifbysea. Dont are a victim of circumstances by the sound of it and not a benefit scrounger. But surely you acknowledge that there are many people that are. Some are parents, some are not. Yes i agree lone parents are targeted unfortunately. Its the 'cant be bothered types' that have lead to this branding. As for childcare, huge developments in my area in the last few years, obviously not a nationwide trend. Parhaps people out of work could set themselves up as childminders to help with the shortfall?? Its not just lone parents that have probs finding childcare though. It affects all working parents.

Firts sentance was meant to say 'You' and not 'Dont' incase it doesnt make sense

Hugh, your dp is the type who shouldn't have the CSA involved. I only think they should become involved with non paying parents and allow those who can come to an agreeable arrangement to do so without their muddling in things as they only ever make it worse. Perhaps instead of the CSA they could have a place to go to where these things can be sorted face-to-face - custody, maintenence, visitations - with a mediator.

My ex-dh quit his job to work cash in hand so he didn't have to pay them only he doesn't pay anything - not even buying them clothes and necessities, he gives nothing. The emotional side is just as bad.

Thanks Loriycs but I do think the difference in mentality is that I do feel like a scrounger and some don't. So I work towards changing our circumstances while some prefer to remain as they are (which quite honestly if I had to live my whole life like that would drive me mad.)

Twinkle, what world are you talking about where employers need to "stop discriminating against the middle aged white male". Because my world is dominated by the middle aged white male. In fairness a few of them are jewish but that doesn't really help.

2If, I think a mediator is a great idea, would really have helped with dp and his ex. and would also help many other couples as well I should imagine.

Its NRP's like yours that the CSA should be hounding instead of of picking on fathers that do pay. All the CSA are concerned with is how much money they can collect, so if an NRP constinly job swaps or makes it hard for them to trace him or his earnings (like your ex-dh) then the CSA give up on him. So its the ones that do pay that get hounded as they are easy targets.

I can't see it ever being fixed though, the proposals for the new c-mec system seem just as bad IMO. I'm just glad that we've only got a few years left in dealing with them. Is sounds awful but I'm hoping dsd doesn't stay on at school, not because of the money, because the CSA scare me and a letter from them can drop through our letterbox at any time and turn our life on its head. Its scary how much power they have.

i dont much about the csa, but a freind of mine recently remarried. He hsa 2 kids in their early teens who until recently lived with their mum. he always paid for them through the csa plus extra on top? she never worked. Now they live with him and she refuses to pay him maintainence now she is working because he earns more than her. He doesnt need her money, but its the principle of her contributing towards their upbringing. The CSA are not beng helpful with his case.

oh i dont know,hughjarss,my xp has worked at the same place for over 3 years and the CSA still dont seem to be able to contact him despite me giving them his address and deatails of place of work on several occasions

Because he's not responding to their letters divastrop, he gets away with it. It's not worth the hassle of chasing him.
They'd much rather hound NRP'S like my dh who has always been co-operative.

"and dads that walked out (who are never the ones who pay) are made to pay for half the cost of raising their children - including a share of the childcare."

Yes that certainly would be an improvement, considering that many fathers in the past have been made to pay the entire cost of raising their children, plus other people's children as well! Since when did it cost £90 plus a week to raise a child? And before you ask, no I don't count living expenses for the ex because she would have those regardless of children.

But exactly who would decide what costs the father pays 50% of? Presumably the Government would not make a NRP fund an unnecessarily extravagant lifestyle just because they can? Hang on, they're already doing that aren't they? Silly me!

I hate the CSA with a passion. They made me seriously ill with all their pissing around over the years. DH used to do contract work, with an income that changed dramatically from week to week. It was a complete and utter nightmare and we have never recovered from the whole fiasco financially. And now the CSA is continuing to chase for fictitious arrears that they invented for a time when DH was under no obligation to pay anything through them whatsoever. He paid what his ex asked him to pay.

They are complete and utter bastards who have pretty much ruined our lives. Even now that my step-children are grown up we can never ever escape them and their lying, bullying ways.

Rant over. Sorry, but any thread mentioning those bloody charlatans is prompting a major major rant from me at the moment.

Oh, and the ex cheated on DH btw.

And I'm not including childcare costs in my view on £90 a week as, unlike us, the ex and her H had the benefit of family around the corner to do any childcaring for them.

Twinklemegan - As NRP's partners we are the silent victims of the CSA.

No one ever thinks how the second familes (I hate that term) are affected.

You have every right to rant and be angry, I really feel for you.

Have you got in touch with NACSA? They might be able to help you.

There is also this forum. The people on that forum gave me invaluable advice and helped us win our tribunal. One of the lady's on there, NACSA Chair, works for NACSA and if you post on there about the arrears she will advise you how to go about dealing with the CSA.

HTH

Twinklemegan your dp was asked for £90 per week? Seriously?

My ex was expected to pay £50 total for dts which would have covered childcare and not much else. A friend's ex pays £67 (how did they come up with that number I wonder) for his one child.

The whole thing should be completely scrapped.

Loyrics, they should be though. The law is sexually neutral. I could, if I chose, get some kind of minimal payment from my children's father notwithstanding what our court order says.

I would like to see all NRP forced whethe they like it or not to have the chilren half the week. Many of them would adore that. I woudl love it as a mother who is forced to have her chidlren 365 days a year because NRPs have a legal right to refuse to helpo with their children., Then those NRPs would see just how expensive children are on a daily vbasis, money for XYZ every day of the year and they would do 50% of the child up in the night sick, what is needed for school, stuff and they would have to fund 50% of the nanny, after school care etc too. And they couldn't go off into the night forming a new family ignoring the old as so many do. It would also very much help those who really want to continue a meaningful daily relationship with their children if they had them for 3.5 days a week or every other week.

I agree, Xenia. Would help the other parent with their future as well, job training/college, a job, etc.

good in theory but would you want to send the kids for half a week to an absent parent if that parent didnt really want them there.