Influence couple and Down syndrome pregnancy

[annjo5]

Apologies if there is already a thread on this, I haven’t seen it.

Has anyone else seen this story? There has been uproar over it since an influencer couple chose to terminate their pregnancy after their scan showed their baby had Down syndrome. Whether or not you agree with this choice, it was their choice. There has been so much judgement and vitriol towards this couple. Lots of people with kids who have disabilities saying how vile they are and what a horrible choice it is.

My argument isn’t whether this was right or wrong. The point is it was their choice, probably a very difficult and heartbreaking one and some people can cope with things that others can’t. Whatever their reasons they made this decision and to have the world judge them for it (I believe they are from NZ) seems incredibly harsh.

Again, I’m not saying it was the right choice or whether it’s something I would have done in that situation. Thankfully I’ve never had to make that choice. But why does everyone feel they have a right to comment on other people’s choices knowing nothing about them.

I think making your life as public as some influencers do is very risky. Sometimes awful things happen in your life and your audience will still have expectations from you. I don't think anything justifies abuse or threats though.

There’s a general backlash against womens’ rights underway. I wouldn’t be surprised if lobbyists are capitalizing on this to amplify the hate they are getting.

I think it’s fine that they shared the news. Most of us would also terminate in those circumstances- not because children with down syndrome aren’t wonderful and valuable- but because it seems like a an incredibly hard thing to do, raising a child with such complex needs.

I support them and don’t think they should feel any shame about it.

The whole reason why the test exists is because having a child with DS is undesirable. No one in their right mind would deliberately bring a disabled child into the world, knowing the struggle that would ensue.

I have no problem with their choice but we really need to know less about each other.

I don't think everyone feels they have a right, I feel this couple invited people to, and made money from, people commenting on their lives. Otherwise why do they publish their lives on social media. As for explaining it away, a discreet message saying they lost the baby was all that was needed if they didn't want people to comment. But I suspect they did want people to comment, as it will have massively increased their views and therefore revenue.

It is mainly Americans who are reacting with backlash and those who are influencers making it about them so they can make money from it.

They monetised killing their baby because it had a disability.

That is separate from the act of termination itself.

They opened the test results live on their platform.

They then announced to their however many followers they weren’t going to be continuing the pregnancy.

The decision to terminate aside, the outcome should never have been clicks and likes.

They terminated their pregnancy, and have then capitalised on it.

Whether people like it or not, deciding to terminate a pregnancy due to disability is emotive. Not everyone will agree with it, plenty of people will be hurt by it because it says something about them when society sees disability as disposable as it is.

So if you choose to make that decision and then make money from doing so, you have no-one to blame but yourself when people have an opinion which doesn’t align with your own.

If someone chooses to terminate due to disability and grieves that loss in private then it’s nobody’s business but theirs.

But when someone chooses to make it public business for clicks and likes, and money, they deserve whatever response they got.

If you go online and share your life story you can’t expect a 100% positive response. That’s not how the internet works.

They're monetizing the fact that they chose to end the life of their disabled child.

I'd do the same. I don't judge them for having the TMR but I do judge them for exploiting that short life for clicks.

THIS.

I find it distasteful because they named Down’s syndrome. It’s a condition that’s on a spectrum and I’ve met many competent, independent and lovely people with Down’s syndrome. They can live long and happy lives. I would find it deeply hurtful if I had the condition and people were making such a public judgement on whether my and others life was worth living. Keep your personal life to yourself, or at least be sensitive to the information you’re sharing.

I didn’t know they opened the results on air. That is pretty shocking and wholly unnecessary. Don’t agree with that at all.

I wonder if they did it to find out the sex since those tests provide that too? Without even considering that it would reveal a high possibility of down syndrome?

I agree, they turned it into ‘content’ and now have to face the public reaction, which is revulsion because it completely lacked any self awareness. A short post stating the baby had received a life changing diagnosis and the pregnancy had ended would’ve been better. A self recorded video of them getting the news, wails of ‘but we’ve chosen the nursery’ followed by ‘but we’re looking forward to trying again and getting a better outcome next time’ was tone deaf and did not put them in a good light at all.

It’s not the choice that they made that has upset people! It’s the wording and the vile way they spoke about their baby and those with DS that is. They made a huge number of inaccurate and offensive statements about people with DS that were completely unnecessary and hurtful. Ending with “hoping we get a better outcome next time”.

The lives of those with DS are not worth any less than anyone’s else’s life. Many many of them live happy, healthy and fulfilling lives, and actively contribute to society. They are not “a gut punch” or a “glitch”. They are not a mistake to be used for content and likes!

They could have gone about things quietly and privately and not devalued and disrespected an entire community who spend their lives advocating for those with DS who are loved unconditionally and who light up the lives of those around them.

They are not brave
They just made their personal decision which is fine.
Sharing it on sm is not.
Disgusting.

I don’t see anything wrong with their choice. But splashing it all over the internet is trashy and I can see why it ruffled feathers.

One of the issues is the way he wrote it.

• spreading misinformation about Down syndrome
• saying kids with Down syndrome are shitty not a blessing including talking about their physical features
• already excited to try again. Pretty tasteless.

People can terminate their pregnancies, fine. However it is still very sad and it was poorly and tastelessly done.

Exactly this. Especially since the majority of issues they talked about are wrong. It came across as really cold and nasty. Normally this kind of decision is devastating and not something you splash around the internet.

It’s really upsetting.

Monetising their baby for content before they're even born.
And then monetising the termination.

It doesn't matter to them that they're getting lots of vitriol over this, it's all engagement and engagement = cash.

It’s better for them it is causing an outrage as more engagement = more money.
They know full well what they’re doing by sharing it.
Negative attention travels further online than positive.