How can a Mum Walk Out? Missing Mum Found After 20 Years - Went Shopping then Disappeared

[HK04]

https://amp.charlotteobserver.com/news/state/north-carolina/article314794103.html

Feel really sorry for her now grown up kids. There may be an explanation (illness, breakdown, affair etc) but the not knowing turmoil all those years and not wanting her location to be disclosed, must be so traumatising.

How can a Mum walk out on her kids?

Same reason Men do

Abusive husband?
New partner who doesn't want kids?
Depression?
Feeling like this isn't the life she wants?
Feeling like she isn't what her kids need?

Who knows. But women are human, they have the same capacity for all the things men do, even if it's less frequent.

The difference I guess is if it had been a man, they'd have probably stopped looking long ago, assuming he'd chosen to leave.

My Mom left my Dad and we stayed with him, although she remained around and we saw her weekly at least. I don't think she's any better or worse than the many men who do it.

My heart breaks for these now adult kids because she's truly abandoned them, but that goes for all the people who's Dad's do the same.

An awful lot of mothers aren't great, and/or don't care about their children. For some reason, we struggle to accept this fact as a society.

I feel so bad for the now adult kids.

I know a woman whose mother just walked out on her and her sibling when they were kids, never saw them again. The daughter is in her late seventies now, and still struggles massively with her mental health as a result of this abandonment. The other sibling sadly died by suicide as a young adult.

These situations are tragic and I can only imagine that the mum in this case must have been desperate when she left. However, it must be incredibly hard for her kids to come to terms with the fact that she hasn't tried to make contact with them in all these years.

loads of men do this only its seen as normal

Why are women supposed to be more saintly? you really can't think of a reason at all?

Because she couldn't face it any more, I assume

There but for the grace of God

Watch the film the hours, it only made sense to me seing it on the screen.

I agree. A mother who does that must be feeling very, very desperate.

And the only reason why similar stories but with dad’s don’t make the news is?
I would move heaven and earth for my children. My dad didn’t visit me until I was 13 as ‘plane tickets were expensive’.

But even as adults she doesn't want any contact, no relationship with her three adult kids which IS extreme, she didn't even want them to know she was alive. That's far more complex than a vaguely indifferent parent who's not interested but you know is floating around.
I home this brings them all some peace at least

Probably lots of reasons? When you take off the sugar coated glasses and realise that raising children can be incredibly boring and tedious. She maybe thought she wanted more and that’s why she left.

Agreed. Lots of women who shouldn't be mothers, become ones.

I can understand this to some extent. Motherhood is tough and not what many mums imagine. Let’s face it, many of us work but also remain the default parent and feel unappreciated. This combined with any other stresses and maybe sleep deprivation can drive you over the edge and you feel buggered if you stay and buggered if you don’t.

"sugar coated glasses" - love it!

I expect she met someone else and had a new family

I’d never leave mine. Yes I know men do but I don’t think much of them either.

DC are hard work, I think a lot more mothers would walk but society judges them far more harshly than fathers.

She had alcohol issues

Oh the bleeding hearts are out already I see..

All the “oh it must have been so hard;she will have had her reasons,maybe she was in an abusive relationship;”mental health””.

Thing is you only have to go and look at the relationships board to see how many posters there are on here with truly awful mothers. And MILs, who are also mothers.

People who seem to think that mothers are any better than fathers are deluding themselves. They blatantly aren’t.

A lot of mothers don’t walk away. They stay and their children end up on the stately homes board in a few years time. Or in therapy somewhere, or NC.

A lot more stay and emotionally abuse their children instead.

Go and look at the stately homes board for reference.

Did she? I noticed that the Drug Enforcement Agency were involved in searching for her which sounds a bit odd.

I’ll be honest and say I’ve had moments where I can understand why a parent leaves. Especially if the other parent doesn’t treat the partner in question very well.

Ive definitely gone for a calming walk a few times since becoming a mother. I’ve always gone back up until now!!

In the event I had had children and they turned out like my nieces and nephews, I would have walked out on them for certain. We have some very strange genes in our family and I decided early on that I was not prepared to perpetuate them.

The only way I could have had children was a pregnancy that I was unaware of until I had no choice but to continue to term.

Given the genes on the maternal side of my family, my sis and bro should have adopted the same view.

I know this will shock but psychopaths are born and their lives have been a misery as a result.

The advantage of being the youngest is that you can see the mistakes of others and learn lessons from it.

You just don’t know what happened to her.

Sometimes I have felt my DCs are better off without me. My ex certainly tells me I’m a shit mother.

I guess it can get to you after a while and you could start to believe it.