I didnt want to start this one but 'Mother denied daughters organs'

[misdee]

mother in need of a kidney transplant sadly her daughter died recently after an asthma attack, and donated her kidneys and liver. but the mother didnt get one.

whilst i can understand the hurt and frustration her mother is now going through, i can also see the other side, which is you cant place conditions on organs after you die.

her daughter has saved three peoples lives, she should be very very pround of her daughter.

i hope she gets a kidney soon as well, so she can carry on living and enjoying life.

i think she has set back organ donation overall

While I agree that this is a setback for organ donation I think blaming the lady is a bit unfair....most of us provide for our next of kin in our wills, and if we have no wills then our assets tend to be granted to the nearest relatives, not to the person in greatest financial need.

I think most people feel that the same principle should apply to organ donation. In most cases, our next of kin have no need for organs, so the system set up ensures that they are used in the most sensible way available. Ensuring that in the very rare instances that next of kin could use the organs they are given every opportunity would not cost the system much and would make donors feel a lot better.

The reality is that medics do have discretion. They use it regularly, and frequently badly. Hence many people's reluctance to grant them more power. If you want to increase the levels of organ donation, I think it's important that people should feel that those in charge of transplants will FIRST ensure that the donor's next of kin are respected in every way, then that the organs are harvested.

I am thinking not just about cases like this (which as has been said before is pretty unique) but also about situations where there is a sudden death and organs get taken before the next of kin are able to come and pay their respects to the deceased. If you are not on the donor register, then they make much greater efforts to contact your next of kin in order to get their consent.

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Its very sad, but I think its the right decision.

Imagine that your son has been very badly injured in a car accident. It is obvious that the your son has suffered major brain damage and if he is kept alive it is likely he will be severely disabled. (Although there are exceptions like Richard Hammond, the presentor off Top Gear.)

He is on life support and the doctors are discussing whether its best to switch off the life support. If your daughter was on the kidney transplant list would it affect your decision whether or not to turn the life support machine off?

I feel for her.She is not toblame it is just another example of how little we have move on with this subject practically and emotionally.We are not in her shoes and i don't think we should judge.Before I became seriously ill I would have had different views but towards the end of my time on dialysis i would have done ANYTHINg to get well

I don't understand why so many people are saying they don't want to be organ donors now. Surely if you want to donate your organs, it's because you feel it's the right thing to do rather than for any other motive. I place no specifications on where my donated blood goes or where my donated milk was sent to. I do find myself a bit stunned at the idea of people not wanting to donate their organs.

Well I think that people should possibly be allowed to will their organs to their loved ones under certain circumstances.

I can't see that it would be so difficult to have a system where you could be a general donor except those organs that you specifically will elsewhere, and perhaps a clause saying that if they turned out not to be an acceptable match they could go back into the common pot. That might actually create more donors overall.

But I think the right decision was made here. There was nothing in writing and no formal consent. You can't just have someone saying "well she wanted me to have them, honest" after the event.

If this poor young woman had died intestate and her mother was saying "she wanted all her money to go to me so that I could buy a kidney - it was her dying wish" then it would also be hard luck.

Of course it should go to a close blood relative as first option.

Unfortunate that the people involved didn't do the necessary paperwork to allow that to happen , but yes, of course if I died I would prefer my organ to go to my mother or my brother than some stranger.

My husband made an interesting point. He says he would be prepared to die for his son with hesitation.

If people were allowed to leave their organs to a named person, my husband would be prepared to commit suicide to allow his son to have his organs if necessary. He would not kill himself unless he was 100% certain that his son would get the organ.

I feel very relieved that my son is a fit and healthy little boy. I also think that the policy of not giving organs of deceased people to their close relatives is probably for the best.

i don't think just any suicide can donate tbh, that's why there's such a shortage. so i don't believe that to be a major issue. i can totally understand why people would want their organs to go to relatives.