I didnt want to start this one but 'Mother denied daughters organs'

[misdee]

mother in need of a kidney transplant sadly her daughter died recently after an asthma attack, and donated her kidneys and liver. but the mother didnt get one.

whilst i can understand the hurt and frustration her mother is now going through, i can also see the other side, which is you cant place conditions on organs after you die.

her daughter has saved three peoples lives, she should be very very pround of her daughter.

i hope she gets a kidney soon as well, so she can carry on living and enjoying life.

I don't understand, how else could people be assessed?
I meant that kidney pts can be on transplant lists longer as can be kept alive longer than those awaiting heart or liver transplants.

If I knew that someone in my immediate family needed a kidney, I would make it a priority to get myself tested for compatibility. I am already on the donor's register. This mother had had kidney failure for seven years....I wonder how much the daughter was prepared to help her mother....she hadn't rushed to step in.

(Not saying that she should rush, btw, just that she had had plenty of time to through the formalities and have had the transplant done, if compatible).

as in all controversial and volatile situations, there are three sides to every story: her side, the other person's side, and the truth.

ah right i misunderstood sorry.

i know some heart transplant patients patients are being kept alived longer with artificial heart pumps (dh was, for over 2years), buts still in the trial stages, and is now coming up to the trial period, and they are trying to get proper funding for nationwide schemes going.

profound, expat

a wise criminal judge i worked for used to say that over and over again, tissy. there's three sides to every story: his side, her side and the truth.

for the most part, much of what came out of his mouth was some of the most profound truth i've ever heard.

RIP, Judge Alaniz

I find it hard to remain objective when there is such personal connection to a story. DH called me to read the story on an online news site and I felt saddened but when I read it in the paper I cried. I think it was finding out the lady was caring for her daughters 2 year old.
I would argue the case for strict assesment on clinical grounds until I'm blue in the face normally but feel this, as a story, will set back organ donation in this country which as I, misdee and countless others know is sadly lacking.

Just in reply to Tissy's point that daughter hadn't 'rushed' to donate her kidney to the mother. She was only 21. Presumably she wouldn't have been allowed to be a living donor before the age of 18, if she had a 2 year old she was probably pregnant before she turned 19 and since then has been looking after a baby/toddler so may have been waiting until her dd was a little bigger and less physically demanding before going ahead with the op.

Have to agree that the mother's word alone about the daughter's intentions shouldn't be a good enough reason to bypass the queue, though. Very sad case.

agree, melpomene , she had mitigating circumstances, but that doesn't mean that her mother should have first refusal on her kidney in the event of her demise.

also, not sure about the rules re: living donors and age....in law any child can consent to or refuse treatment if they are able to understand the consequences, so suspect an under 18 cold donate if they felt strongly about it!

Hope the little girl doesn't lose her gran & then when she's older finds out her mum could have saved her but others didn't enable this.

They're pretty fussy, FIL had to donate to BIL just before he was 65, they wouldn't have taken it after.
He got nearly 15 years out of it but is back on dialysis now.

oh! As I said, don't know the rules, but why would not having a family make a difference? You can make babies with only one!

i do hope a kidney comes availabe in time for this lady, so she can spend oodles and oodles of time with granddaughter and other family members.

sadly this story is having an adverse weffect on organ donation, i read the comments section on the bbc website and almost lost it completely with anger over some comments.

i do still maintain that you cant put conditions on donating organs, it should be about greatest medical need coming first.

they can do it laparoscopically now (well they do in the hospital I used to work at)!

Agree with misdee re the bbc website comments; that's why I tried to register, but couldn't get onto the page to make sure I used an alias rather than my real name!

Surely the issue is not so much about WHO the organs go to but WHO donates.
For example, if everybody was an organ donor, there would be more organs avaiable, obviously not every body would be able to donate given circumstances of death etc, but there would be more organs avaiabile.
Then, if that were the case, it would be possible to put "rules" on where the organs go to - if a family member needed an organ and was compatiable, it wouldn't be such an issue for them to have the organ, given that they wouldn't be such rare offerings.
IYSWIM.

Just seen on BBC news site that the mother has said it is ridiculous that shs couldn't have her daughter's organs.

At the end of the day these rules are there to protect people, not to victimise. That kidney will have gone to someone young who has the best chance of using it to it's full capacity. Whilst it's very sad, you can't give family priority automatically. Not everyone gets on with their family, it just opens up so many problems. It is very very sad and I hope the Mum gets a kidney

I find that a bit creepy, NotABanana.

What an odd thing for her to say.