Rachel Cusk on the hostile reaction to A Life's Work

[MyEye]

here

Interesting. I take it from this sentence that she'd not be a big MN fan then...

"Nevertheless, I remain uneasy in the public places of motherhood - the school gate, the coffee circuit - where the skies can unexpectedly open and judgment rain down on one's head."

It's ages since I read the book, but I mainly remember being stunned that she seemed to have had no idea that babies woke and cried in the night. I just can't imagine ever being that insulated from normal life that this fact would never have become apparent.

I haven't read her book, but I seem to remember that it got a bit of a panning on mumsnet...?

ah ha ha
I LOVE Rachel C's snooty, ultra-defensive reaction to any hint of criticism. She thinks less of other women because some of them didn't like her book
I find her unintentionally hilarious living in a moral high ground which is every bit as fixed as the other mothers she writes about.
Cheered me up, made my day

It's up there with her book club article, which I always get out to read when I need a good laugh

I quite liked her book actually but really, why expect everyone to love it? She sounds a bit unhinged. It's a book - it's supposed to elicit opinions - some good, some bad.

The book club thing was beyond hilarious.

Oh good I meant to post a link to this when I read it, but I forgot. Almost, but possibly not quite, as good as the book club article. You do wonder how she can see to write with her head wedged so firmly up her arse.
Actually what gets me is the 'writerly' (for want of a better word) she describes the most mundane details such as her family composition at the time the book was written - it is so self-conscious and over-wrought it makes you want to pour a jug of water over her.

Where is book club article?

I loved this book BTW

Here you go Enjoy!

I liked her book, too. She does have some good stuff to say, actually.

Haven't seen the book club article.

hmmmm

oh dear well book club article is a little bit

well yes

BUT I think A Life's Work is excellent and I've loved all her other books

She doesn't sound like someone you'd want on a Hen Weekend though, I agree

I haven't read the book but I will now I've read the article. I came to the article very open minded as I had enjoyed a previous article written by her for the Guardian about her own childhood.

My first reaction on reading the article was to feel just as hostile and judgy as she accused everyone else of being (why did you have a second dd so soon if you found first one so difficult? No wonder dcs first years were difficult if you were so damned determined to write a book at the same time? I'd like to be on the computer all day working on projects but you just can't if you've got small dcs..)
But then I felt bad/felt told off by her for being judgy and thought I ought to at least read the book first!

I agree with her that books can't prepare you for the reality of it, but I think everyone's reality is different. Family life happens behind closed doors. She opened the doors by writing a book about hers and then was surprised that not everyone could relate. Motherhood IS an emotive subject, and we've all got opinions. Maybe there is sthg wrong in society that we do all judge each others' parenting so harshly...

well, I'm rambling, but the article certainly provoked some thoughts.

Do you think about it every day, or just now and again?

Sobernow - I love you

aw I dunno. I think you're being a bit unfair.

This bit is v.g. in my opinion.

'there are many women who find motherhood easier than I do, or did. I believe that these things do not lie entirely within our own control. I felt a great need to write, which did not always harmonise with the requirements of my daughters. I was step-parent to a young child with difficulties and vulnerabilities of her own. I have a bad relationship with my own mother and was pitched by motherhood into the recollection of childhood unhappiness and confusion. But this, too, is a common enough reality: why should it be mocked or censured?'

You surely can't argue with that? She gave a personal view of motherhood and for that she was pilloried really viciously. You may or may not think she's a bad writer, but she is so right about the ghastliness of judgemental motherhood.

I like the running red cheeks Sobernow!!

makes me think of running bottoms for some reason (must go & change ds2's nappy)!!

allegrageller I agree with you on the judgemental stuff (which sometimes drives me to switch off MN - though not today as am too lazy to work properly today )

I put that down to educated and previously career focused women having to suddenly take their eye off their careers and focus on parenting which becomes their new career and therefore something that needs professionalising. It's something that men usually don't have to tackle in quite the same way and it is very odd and not particularly enjoyable.

That's what I liked about her book. I thought she captured that very well.

I wanted to like other things about her too but her book club stuff marks her out as a complete prat.

Also, I think sobernow has a point. Most of the negative comment wasn't judging her on the basis of her badmotherdom. It was judging her on the basis of so bleeding what?

I liked her statements of the obvious so didn't object to her book on those grounds (I like being reminded that other people struggled with boring babies too ). But some people did find it self indulgent in that sense.

I just think she needs to get over herself. I liked it. Isn't that enough, for god's sake? I hate nearly everything

yeah I agree, the book club thing was just weird! She clearly has issues of many varieties- or she wouldn't have written a Life's Work of course. But I thought her book opened up a really interesting public dialogue which hadn't really been done before (though I know MN does it all the time). imo it's important that this stuff comes out even if you want to kill the messenger.

Agree about her up-her-bottom-ness. (And her dreadfully over-egged writing style.)

But only someone with their bottom that far inserted could say some of the things she's said about motherhood. And many of them really needed saying, I think. I'm quite grateful to her for that.

actually, it was her head that was inserted, wasn't it?