women are their own worse enemies on the maternity ward

[katz]

ok a mail article but it is interesting here

Itsahardknocklife, I have not had experience of going private, but have had experience of giving birth in The Netherlands. It is AMAZING.
Possibly the care in the hospital is so good because there are enough staff(!), for a start.

Immediately after I'd given birth, whilst DH was holding the baby, I got a sponge bath, (lost blood, too weak to go in the shower apparently), lovely massage!!, then for the two days after when I was there, the midwives would come at a point in the morning, ask if I wanted to come and help bath DD, or get a quick nap in, and with showers, they'd also check I'd be alright on my own, or would I prefer some help etc... then even one night, the midwife noticed the 3 of us in one ward were having a hard time sleeping cos of 3 crying babies. She wheeled all three of them out, and said to us that if one of them got hungry she'd bring them back to the mother.... meanwhile, sleep. We did, and all three of us got about 7hrs in!! It's the most sleep I've had in the last 4 months!!

It's clear to me (also having had an HNS baby 3yrs ago) that the problem is not the staff, or facilities, it is the TIME they have to actually show they care!

It's not women's fault that maternity services are bad, obviously. But it does amaze me how some patients and visitors behave - not just in maternity wards but generally. Abusing staff and acting like they are in a hotel, trying to smoke, slagging off other patients etc. When I was in the maternity ward, the staff were great and I said "you are all so nice to me but you must be so busy, how do you do it?" And one said "Well you are nice to us, so it's easier." I thought I was acting totally normally - all they meant was I wasn't swearing at them or hitting them or slagging off the food or having a fag under the blankets. I think NHS staff have to put up with a lot.

Ah, I see this article was written by Beezy Marsh. She thinks she is the bees knees. Far too special to spend time hanging around an NHS ward with mere mortals.

Greeny, it's not too late to contact the hospital and give them your story, you know. If you can bear to. Get in touch with the trust's PALS service.

greensleeves my jaw is on the floor.

What you describe is serious abuse. When did this all take place? Surely, surely you can sue them. I am utterly horrified and my heart goes out to you

Greeny- that's awful! I can understand why you didn't complain though, a friend lost her baby after the MW told her she wasn't in labour and to go home and stop being a silly girl (she was 25 weeks and had a baby previously at 30 weeks). She never complained either- although MW did admit it- as she couldn't face dragging it up.

my first labour was nothing like that but hard enough, stupid Dr kept relling me I was depressed, mentally ill, swearing at me for 'self admitting' (local MW unit was referring, not me) and just changed dates when ds1 wouldn't grow in last weeks..... turned out I ahd eclmapsia and IUGR, he even tried to discharge me AFTER an eclamptic fir witnessed by a MW who begged them to do a c-section, saying it was depression. I was induced after a note was left on my bed saying baby had stopped growing and in danger, no face to face chat. During labour itself, he refused to come when called as they'd lost my bloods and couldn't do a CS, even though DS1's heart was sloewing and showing concern- I never knew that until I read the notes much later (I didnt know until a few days ago he needed resuscitation either- DH told me that). As you know, DS1 is disabled- I will never know if there is a link or not.

I didn't go back to that hospital for ds2 which was a lovely labour and PG but he still managed to appear! As I walked into the labour ward, he walked apst, did a double take (I think he was probablys everely bollocked by the Consultant In charge as I know my notes were reviewed twice) and demanded of the MW to explain why I was in the labour ward- MW clearly knew him well, made a pointed remark like 'Because she is in labour' and slammed door in his face LOL!

My god. Someone should do a study on this.

my god greensleeves.......to think you went thro all that and still went again and had another baby. Hats off to you woman, you are one strong lady!

I am reletivley lucky. I had, with almost each pregnancy (well, each bar DD2) a long stay while pregnant in hospital. I can honestly say that for each (while pregnant) I was treated wonderfully and had no issues with staff, other patients or visitors.

EACH, that is, before DS2 (which incidently also DC5, and so my most recent, and of course, stantards are going down rapidly now thanks to funding, or lack thereof, and also lack of midwives...)

anyhoo......I went into prem labour with DS2 at 28wks. All ok to start, and I was taken care of wonderfully. I did however prgress rapidly from being watched, to neeeding drugs to stop labour, to feeling odd, to it being a scene out of ER and me almost dying....and DS2.

thankfully, all was stopped just beofre they gave me a general for c-section, altho DH was left in trauma for days and he never quite got over the shock. To the point that as soon as DS2 was born, he booked in for 'the snip' even tho I wasn;t at that point ready.

anyhoo.......all went ok from the stopping of labour, altho the wrote in my notes that I had also had a severe reaction to the drugs given and if I happened to prem labout again (it was almost certain as I had had a car accident with DS1 which sent me int prem labout with ^him& and he than was delivered at 36wks, leaving my uterus 'issitable'),I was to be 'left to labour'.

and then, at 30wks, I went again, and so they went to administer drugs. I said no because of the reaction, to be told how selfish I was and that i would therefore be sentencing my baby to death.

I agreed, to the drugs, and then same deal.......blood pressure went down to 50/30, I collasped, DH left quivering in a corner, 4 consultants/midwives around me giving yet more drugs, and there was baby's heartbeat on the monitor at a steady 128bpm. he was f-i-n-e, less so for me, and even mre less so for DH (altho I was not to realise that at the time!).

dispite all the drama's and fuss, they did stop labour, and DS2 came at 37 wks at a very healthy 7.12. (oh, and they induced cos I broke ribs thro force of vomiting)

and then the fun started again.......

I went into shock immediately following delivery. don;t forget, I had been in hospital for a looooooong time, and then at home, on absolute bedrest, as they had put fear of god into me for daring to almost kill my own baby, so I was not in the best state anyway for birth, and there was me, 5th brith in, knowing something was wrong!

noooooo.......apparently, according to the horrid midwife (which was shock as all the previous births had been with lovely MW, and it was the same hosp), said "well, what do you expect????? It IS your fifth!!!!"
so I swollowed my pride, and caried on......

and on.....

and on.....

and then 1wk psot birth, at home, with a suspected womb infection which the doc had seen and prescribed anti-b's for, and then I reacted.......I collasped in pain. DH rushed me to A&E, I was checked, DH was asked if we were hoping for more babies as it looked dire, and I was readmitted along with DS2 as I was breastfeeding.

I was then left on a drip for 2days as was so poorly.....

then, I was scanned.......seemed that the placenta had sheared in half, and I still had a 10x12cm piece left behind.(so much for the MW claiming that 5 babies makes you a wuss.

I was then sent home for a couple of days, in the hope that I would pass it without need for surgery ( for their plans, but I never argued the point as was too damn ill and scared), and so the pkacenta blocked my cervix, stopping the lochia, and I swelled back up to 9mths pregnant size with blood!

I was admtted for an ERPC, and they took me down, while DH and DS2 stayed on the ward, and the kiddies were with a friend.

I didn't recover well........I went into surgery, but while in recovery they gave me an anti-emetic, which sent me into anaphactic.

I died!!!

they had to resusate me

I am obviously and thank fuck (in DH's words) alive.....but it could have been so different.

and the worst......??????(could there be)

They didn't clear the entire lot of the aftere birth and infection, and I ended up having to have 2 MORE ERPC to make me mended, and I was ill for the first 7wks of DS2's life

In that time, my DB got married and the kiddies were bridesmaids/page boys, and also DS2 had tingue tie to operate on (well, not operate per se, but still to snip), and also DH had 'the snip' too.......was truly horrific then, and I look back with shock.

I am goona shout and say tho......Flamesparrow was my rock, and still is.
she was the one who cared for me after the 3rd ERPC as I was not able to stay at the hospital due to the vomiting bug, and so I was at home with DS2, fkame with me, DH out with the kiddies.

thankgod tho....apart from me being left with severe allergies, and DS2 with a bowel condition, we are now fully recovered. of course, had he been our first, it may have been a dfferent story as we may have found me unable to have more babies. but, he was our 5th, he completed us, and we are damn lucky!!!

Psycho - gawd I knew it was bad, but didn't realise it was that bad!!

Greeny - what an awful awful experience for you!

I have had similar experiences. I developed pre-eclampsia with my first son and was admitted to hospital with dangerously high blood pressure. My baby was very ill and my placenta was failing fast. Despite this I was prodded, poked, tested for this that and the other, had to endure a cordiocentesis (like an amnio but a blood sample is taken fro the umbilical cord). This went on for a week and then we were told that our baby was very ill, would be severly handicapped, have a hole in his heart and would not live. They were going to induce me the next morning, but he died overnight They put me back onto the postnatal ward afterwards which was just agonising. The post mortem reports said there was noting physically wrong with him and I believe had he been delivered when I was first admitted he would still be here now.

My second sond was born 7 1/2 weeks early because I again developed pre-eclampsia. I can't fault the doctors who were looking after me then as they understood that even if they felt my son was ok inside me for a while, there was no way I would be ok with it. He was born and placed on SCBU. I was up on the post natal ward where I was told that I shouldn't be upset as 'he was ok wasn't he', this was 13 months after my first son had died. SCBU were great (apart from a haughty eldery nursery nurse)

The birth of my subsequent 2 sons has be good. They were born in London (on the same date, in the same labour room ) TBH honest I didn't stay in long enough to recieve any negative care, the last time I was in at 5am, gave birth at 9am and was home for tea at 5 twas good.

Psycho - gawd I knew it was bad, but didn't realise it was that bad!!

Greeny - what an awful awful experience for you!

I have had similar experiences. I developed pre-eclampsia with my first son and was admitted to hospital with dangerously high blood pressure. My baby was very ill and my placenta was failing fast. Despite this I was prodded, poked, tested for this that and the other, had to endure a cordiocentesis (like an amnio but a blood sample is taken fro the umbilical cord). This went on for a week and then we were told that our baby was very ill, would be severly handicapped, have a hole in his heart and would not live. They were going to induce me the next morning, but he died overnight They put me back onto the postnatal ward afterwards which was just agonising. The post mortem reports said there was noting physically wrong with him and I believe had he been delivered when I was first admitted he would still be here now.

My second sond was born 7 1/2 weeks early because I again developed pre-eclampsia. I can't fault the doctors who were looking after me then as they understood that even if they felt my son was ok inside me for a while, there was no way I would be ok with it. He was born and placed on SCBU. I was up on the post natal ward where I was told that I shouldn't be upset as 'he was ok wasn't he', this was 13 months after my first son had died. SCBU were great (apart from a haughty eldery nursery nurse)

The birth of my subsequent 2 sons has be good. They were born in London (on the same date, in the same labour room ) TBH honest I didn't stay in long enough to recieve any negative care, the last time I was in at 5am, gave birth at 9am and was home for tea at 5 twas good.

Now how did I manage to post that twice????

bl**y hell, greensleeves

Speaking as someone who was hospitalised and induced early for high BP (not pre-eclampsia), the article is utter crap...if your BP is high due to pregnancy, it doesn't matter what the hell you do. As if it's fun having a baby in SCBU (it isn't).

Bloody stupid cow