Adopted brother and sister get marriage annulled

[NAB3wishesfor2008]

This is so sad. A couple met and married and have discovered they are actually twins who were adopted as babies. They never knew they were adopted or that they had a twin.

erm, well I went out with one of my friends who share my birthday, so if I had been adopted (bizarrely (in relation to this story) my friend is adopted), or not known that I was adopted it could easily have been us.

This is an awful coincidence, but tbh even if you knew you were adopted, if you hadn't wanted to contact our birth parents/family, would sharing a birthday with someone make you think you were related to them?

your birth parents

there is a study about this i will see if i can find it. we are all pre-disposed to be attracted to people who are simillar to us, if you have grown up with your sibling then you have that shared childhood/past tostop you falling for them, but without that link you just see someone simillar to you and therefore attractive

the westermarck effect

its very sad thjo for all involved!

Sharing a birthday is fairly common, but sharing a birthdate with someone that you have a sexual relationship - far less so. I can't believe that no-one even as a throwaway line wouldn't have said "oh, you could be twins" and that would have got someone thinking. Oh well, clearly not in time, and for all we know they could have eloped quickly without telling anyone etc.

The dcs are both IVF babies and even though they look just like we did at that age, I think that I would still be spooked if they say married someone who happened to be conceived via IVF in the same hospital on the same day for example.

But they wouldn't be related??

but what if they were unclear of the details of their adoption? or one of them didnt know they were adopted? or a twin?they may not even have the same birthday, just be a day apart. either way you wouldnt meet a man who you fancy, find out you share a birthday and have a lot in common and automatically think "oh this must be my adopted twin brother" that would be a hell of a coincidence!

If there was a mix up in gametes or embryos then they could be full borther or sister or half brother/sister. Unfortunately mix-ups have happened, and I was pg with ds1 during the case were a couple gave birth to baby of the wrong race.

Perhaps it is something you think about only if you have been through it...

This is very sad - I can't see why they would have had grounds for suspicion. One of my friends is exactly the same age as me and shares the same birthday. Until now it never occurred to me that we might have been separated at birth , why would it?

It is fascinating to me that growing up with someone makes you unlikely to fancy them, whether or not you are biologically related. My childhood best friend was a boy, we are still in close contact but never had anything other than a brother/sister relationship.

Trust me, their mothers knew that they were adopted! So unless they didn't tell their mothers anything about it...

And how did they eventually find out I wonder?

but would their mothers know that they had adopted one twin?

My 2ndH and I had exactly the same birthday, in fact were born in the same hospital, although we met in a totally dfferent part of the country as I left Scotland at 6 weeks with my RAF family, he lived all his life there then joined the forces and posted to southern England where we then met.

The children didn't know they were twins and the parents wouldn't necessarily have known either.

And did your mum and his mum discuss this at some point? Presumably they were on the maternity ward at the same time, so it would have been a natural thing to discuss?

That's all I'm saying. I doubt the couple would have thought about it all, but as a mother I might ask a few questions of the other mother. I know both of our mothers practially interogated us about all sorts of details.

Who is the q too, LadyMuck?

shoshe

but they wouldnt assume that just because they had the same birthday they were twins, even if they did both know they were adopted. especially if they didnt know they had a twin.

exactly, Lissielou - their adoptive mothers may well not have known that they were twins. And, even if they did, may not have been suspicious - I've met plenty of people who share my birthday and it's never crossed my mind we might be related!

Poor people. What a terrible situation. I imagine neither of them had traced their birth parents, nor even got hold of a copy of their original birth certificate - you aren't automatically given one. If they had got that document, it would have given a time of birth, which is a big clue as this is only recorded for twins. But even then, someone would have to explain the significance of it.

Two people met, married.

Didn't know they were adopted.

Didn't know they had a twin.

No reason to not get married.

LadyMuck No they never met ExH Mother was in a private ward, Mom was in NHS, and didnt meet till after we had married.

In the days when they split up twins for adoption they adoptive parents often weren't told that they were adopting one of twins -- I remember reading about twins who found each other (more conventionally) in adulthood and the adoptive parents were just because they had never had an inkling that their child was anything other than a singleton.

And twins can have different dates of birth.

And the adoptive parents could have died in the meantime.

Plenty of circumstances could have made it so that there was no reason for anything to strike anyone as odd.

No one on this thread is suggesting that the two people themselves would have any reason to be suspicious. But I am surprised that someone in an older generation in one of their families didn't have a slight doubt. Especially if they didn't feel that they knew the full circumstances of the birth parents. In fact I imagine it would be far easier for non-twin brothers and sisters to end up together unknowingly. A least the birthdate is a bit of a clue.

In the same way, whist I would be curious about a ds marrying someone conceived in the same hospital at the same time, I'd probably be less knowledgable about someone who was conceived on the same day, but born later viafrozen embryo transfer.

I'm adopted and I haven't based my relationships on the possibility of their being brother/nephew or even father. My adoption is something I rarely give any thought too actually. From that position, I certainly wouldn't condemn them for not investigating their partners 'suspicious' birthday.

Having only read the BBC link on this thread, I have no idea how old the couple are, whether their birth mother knew they'd been separated, whether the adopted parents knew they had a twin or any other siblings or any other information. Adoption laws have changed, there was a time when minimum or no information was required to be recorded - and I think that the law only changed in the 60/70s .

i didnt meet my dad til i was 17 and realised that i used to play with my lil sis and brother in the park when we were little til i was 13. none of us had any idea that we were related, even though we look simillar

Even if you knew you had a twin why would it occur to you even think the person you were falling in love with was that person.

With regard to siblings who have been brought up separately being attracted to each other whilst it is still a taboo subject it isnt as rare as you would think

www.guardian.co.uk/print/0,,4669355-103425,00.html

how very sad.

I read somewhere once that it is actually quite common for bothers and sisters who meet up in later life to have a sexual relationship, even if they are aware they are siblings. There was a woman on this morning once in fact who had met up with her brother and ended up leaving her husband to be with him , she did end up going back to her husband though. but she said it had to do with them being attracted to each other, her feeling the need to be close to him, she couldn't explain it but it was like an obsession.

think it's sad that people are questioning that someone who is adopted should have considered someone with the same date of birth as them to be their sibling, or even that the parent should have considered it. Maybe the parents were just happy for their children, and a birthday isn't really that signifficant in the grand scheme of things is it?