Beware - could be contentious - Smacking Bill - For or Against?

[JoolsToo]

They're trying to get a Bill through Parliament today to outlaw smacking altogether in Britain.

Your views anyone.

fyi - I'm agin it (the Bill not smacking) (oh what a surprise )!

I think the problem with smacking is not so much that it's done, but that many people believe you cannot bring up children without it. I think we are so reliant on it in this country, that more effective discipline methods aren't investigated or widely known about. Until I became a Mumsnet regular and Little Angels viewer, although I wasn't comfortable with smacking my kids, I didn't really know what the alternative was. Now I do, the difference in my children's behaviour and in my ability and confidence as a parent, is amazing. I'm not condemning anyone for using smacking, but I just wish that the alternatives were more widely known and properly promoted.

totally for the bill, think it's a sad indictment of this country that it's been defeated...

Haven't had time to read the whole thread but will add my two-penn'th anyway - why is it ok to hit a child when if you did the same to ann adult you could be prosecuted for assault? It should be outlawed, definitely.

All i know is my mum used to give me a smack when i was naughty when little and it never did me any harm. I would get a slap across the backside or backs of my legs, no head whacking or slippers, belts though. Just a smack with her hand and that was enough for me to know i wouldn't be doing it again. I am not against it but everyone should know to what degree is fair.

But did it do you any good?

Well you'd assume that it taught her that some things aren't acceptable and as she concedes she never repeated her misdemeanours sounds like the answer would be YES!

hear hear Sophable

prob all the public school boys in the house of commons enjoyed being caned at school

Good, why should the f*ing goverment choose how I decide to punish my children. And no, smacking, thumping, walloping are not the same thing!!!!!

My kids have only on very rare occasions had a tap on the hand or a smacked bottom. Even though it's only been on rare ocassions I still want the choice to be able to smack them or tap their hands if I choose to do so.

have to throw my 2pence here as well.

Don't believe in smacking as a regular means of 'discipline', but e.g. when dd (2.10) yet again after verbal warnings and explanations runs away from me and onto the street I have on occasions given her a slap on the (well padded) bum to 'enforce' the danger issue. Straight after however, I go down to her level and explain why I did it.

Other 'means' I've used is after 3 warnings I'll simply pick her up and carry her back home screaming (her not me). However the looks I get from passers by for doing that...

IMHO People who really beat/abuse their children wouldn't have given a hoot about the bill anyhow had it come through.

I'm sure the bill is just for England in Wales - a similar bill was thrown out of the Scottish Parliament a while back.

TBH I think such a bill is a waste of time. It won't protect those children most vulnerable and idiotic parents who give their kids a good thrashing will continue to do so anyway. If passed it just means that the courts will be dogged down even more, punishing parents who really do care for their children.

Case in point - a few years ago a father took his daughter to the dentist as she was in agony with toothache. She started playing up in the waiting room and was hysterical. He smacked her on the bottom. Someone reported him. He was removed from the family home, his daughter was distraught by this as was his wife and the rest of his children, he was suspended from his job as a teacher. It was finally flung out of court that he was not a threat to children but at what cost? What will the repercussions be in the future for that family? It will affect them for the rest of their lives.

woodpops, the govt don't want to say how you choose to punish your children, they hope to protect those who don't have a voice ie children, especially when a tap turns into something more.

Could I add to my last post that the chap was struck off the teachers register and decided not to appeal as he believed his family had been through enough. He did remain in employment with the local council in another role.

read here for more details

here

Pagan that in the case you're referring to the girl was 8 years old and the father pulled down her pants and then smacked her very hard on her bare bottom. How could that be acceptable?
Woodpops, how could there not be laws concerning the treatment of children?

Oh, crossed posts Pagan.

I don't think that's this bill is necessary altogether.
If you are in the street or at home and someboddy, family or not, is hitting you and hurting you, you will be protected by the law. This is obvioulsy not acceptable.
Now if you are with some friends and in the heat of the discussion one of them if pushing away you a bit hard, you would probably not even think of reporting it because you had not been hurt.
Why not just using the existing law and apply it ?
I personnally do not think that "smacking" is best answer in most cases but I do think that we should be able to use common sense to decide whether a tap on the hand is acceptable or not. Let's people decide byt themselve how they want to bring their children up as long as they are not hurting them (But that's already cover by the law anyway).

I don't understand the compromise amendment outlawing smacks which leave marks or cause mental harm. How do you know which smacks will 'cause mental harm'?

What a horrible story. My ds is 8 and if this happened to him ie pants pulled down and smacked on a bare bottom in public because someone lost their temper I'd be furious.

I am wholly and adomantly opposed to a nannystate. I think this legislation goes too far. I think it is a parents choice. Personally,I don't have a habit of smacking because I think it teaches a child that it's okay to smack other people when they don't listen to you. And that's not really a message I want to convey to a young child.

I am also opposed to this because I think it puts an unrealistic burdon on the police, doctors, and courts. How will you ever prove a "smack"? Teachers and doctors will be called to testify, and their testimony could be based on stories children are telling because they watched it on telly, not because it really happened to them. It's a recipe for a beaurocratic mess I'm afraid... and a lot of taxpayer expense.

Think that pulling down an 8 year olds pants in public and spanking her is going too far. But, the punishment he (and his family) got was even further too far.

Yes i would say it did do me some good. I had a fantastic childhood and the best mum in the world but if i was naughty i got a smack. I was never sent to my room or grounded, just a smack and forgotten about. I am not sorry about being punished that way. I wouldn't change a thing and i know that most of my friends who had parents who didn't smack talked to there mum and dad like crap, where i had more respect for my parents then that, infact for any adult.

TBH it's posts such as the one JoanneG made about the 5 year old being caned that make me really sad and convinced that we ned to do something drastic to change views on what's aceptable.

Can't be bothered with all this again, I'll never "get" smacking and I totally dispute Sabine's view that children are protected if they get smacked in public....

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I was smacked as a child and it made me behave very well and a threat was enough to stop me misbehaving. I still dont smack my children though. I grew up terrified of my father and was good because of this fear. That's not what i want for my kids.