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Original poster

Those babies who were swapped at birth - just WHAT would you do?

41 replies

cupcakes · 12/10/2007 12:45

Apparently one of the mums doesn't want to switch the babies back yet.

My dd2 is 10 months and I just couldn't. Dh thinks that in that situation he would have to swap back which rather surprised me, to be honest.

OP posts:
pigleto · 12/10/2007 12:48

I would swap back but keep in touch. Surely you would not have the right to keep someone elses baby, even if it was not your fault.

bananaknickers · 12/10/2007 12:49

Imposible to know what I would do. God how awful

Greensleeves · 12/10/2007 12:50

I would want to NOT swap back, but keep in touch. And hope like hell the other family was decent and reasonable, so that you could sensibly organise compromises like getting the children together/being part of each others' lives without being too intrusive,.

fullmooncupsugar · 12/10/2007 12:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Meeely2 · 12/10/2007 12:52

no idea how i would feel if i found out my child wasn't mine - would the bond remain, would i instantly reject it? it's definitely a 'don't know unless u been through it' scenario.....

welshmum · 12/10/2007 12:52

At 10 months swap back, later, just don't think I could.

eleusis · 12/10/2007 12:53

Swap back, but keep in touch. But, absolutely I would want the child that is genetically mine and DH's. I would also care very much for the other child and would want to keep in touch. But, I have no right to keep someone else's baby.

eleusis · 12/10/2007 12:53

Hi welshie. :-)

(wanna do a swap... just kidding)

Original poster
cupcakes · 12/10/2007 12:54

that's how I feel, Greensleeves.

OP posts:
pageturner · 12/10/2007 12:58

Swap now and stay in touch. I think... Poor families.

FrankAwenstein · 12/10/2007 13:00

hadnt seen the story but sounds very sad

NoNameToday · 12/10/2007 13:03

If the mums do swap back, do you think they will feel they have suffered a bereavement?

Such a sad situation.

2mum · 12/10/2007 13:04

Swap and keep in contact. Your always going to feel a bond towards the child that wasnt yours i reckon. Im just glad the kids wont remember as they`re so young. Can anyone remember anything about being 10 months old? I dont think the babies would remember anything but maybe im wrong.

Skimty · 12/10/2007 13:11

Just had big debate with Mum about this and good friends last night. I'd NOT swap. I don't think genetics is that important. (But I seem in be in a minority in my aquaintances!!)

whiskeyandbeer · 13/10/2007 13:22

i presume if one family wanted to swap and the other didn't they would be forced to swap by an injunction or court order.

princessmelBABY · 13/10/2007 13:24

Dh said he'd swap too
I just dont know. Obvioulsy I'd want my birth child but it would depend on how long I'd had the other baby.
I'd probably swap

2mum · 13/10/2007 13:40

Id definetly swap, genetics is extremely important to us. Theres no way my dh would let me keep a child that wasnt ours. I`ll never be in that position thankfully but i would choose my biological child without a doubt.

FrightOwl · 13/10/2007 13:42

i dont know...i'd want both

how old are they, 10 months? i cant imagine giving mine away at 10 months even if i found out they weren't genetically mine. am sure i would feel a desperate longing for the child who was mine though.

colditz · 13/10/2007 13:43

Look at your children, and imagine being told to hand them over to someone you know nothing about.

i'd want the child I'd raised, with close contact with my biological child.

UniversallyChallenged · 13/10/2007 13:46

Long term I think the only answer is to swop back, very gradually. The babies wouldnt remember after a while and if they dont swop eventually i think the parents would regret it. Awful siuation and so easy on the sidelines to say what I'd do, but then my emotions arent involved

2mum · 13/10/2007 13:48

i understand how some of you are thinking. But ten months is a short time out of a childs life and i wouldnt like to do the explaining to my biological child in years to come. Sorry but i raised this child for ten months and bonded with it so i decided not to swap. This is a terrible story but the babies really wont remember much if they are reunited with their biological parents.

TwigorTreat · 13/10/2007 13:50

what babies? link to story

I'd swap if 10 months I think .. but that's easy to say with hindsight

2mum · 13/10/2007 13:53

Theres a link on the babies swapped at birth thread a few threads down on this topic. i havent a clue how to link sorry!

FllightAttendant · 13/10/2007 13:56

Has anyone assessed those children's attachment to their 'parents' - I think this might be crucial, I'm not sure but I think if you take away a child's secure attachment figure particularly when the child is around 10 months (important time for bonding/discrimination between other adults and the adult you are attached to) it could cause them a lot of damage.

I wish it were possible for the two families to live together or nearby for a time, till the kids are comfortable enough with all of them to be safely switched over.

But this is probably not going to happen - people will be thinking of the parents' feelings, not the kids'...probably...

FllightAttendant · 13/10/2007 13:57

Babies only start to get really upset and choosy about being with strangers around 9 months iirc. They notice, of course they do.

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