Bringing Up Baby - U gonna watch ? (Healthwarning)

[Guard]

Lots of chat about this last week - at the risk of being controversial I'd like to ask the question should we watch. On the one hand horrible (how could anyone let their newborn have cameras all over their house...) on the other hand interesting to see all these diverse ideas.
And just in case - here is the healthwarning as this is a genuine question for me ? Do we watch reality TV like this (and hence encourage it) or do we vote with our feet ?

I don't think viewing figures are gleaned from people just watching the telly tho. From what I remember BARB or some such body have a panel of people that they monitor and make a national figure from that. So if you're avoiding watching because you don't want to increase viewing figures I don't think you've got anything to worry about.

Oh yes this business about leaving baby in garden...I understand the fresh air side of things but not sure how that equates to leaving the baby alone for such a long length of time?

Has anybody read the TK manual??

Be careful discussing Ms Ford don't want to get mumsnet in trouble!!!

I spoke to the one friend I have that uses Ms Ford's method and she said that it is nothing like TK. Apparently GF does not advocate control crying at such a young age. If you can call what CV is doing as control...I think it is more a loss of control!!

What got me the most last night was how she stood outside the twins bedroom door, listened to them going mental and just smirked and laughed and then went back downstairs. Those parents should be ashamed of themselves leaving their babies in her care. What if they had been running temperatures ? Been sick all over themselves ? Nasty woman has no natural human emotions as far as I can see. Every natural emotion she sees she wants to wipe it out!

Mt Thomastankengine thinks its (the TK method)child abuse, and the producers are condoning it just like the big brother producers condoned racism.

That should say MR Thomastank

I think they are probably editing to make the most of the extremes. But CV looks sad and deranged to me and the mother of the twins looks daft, I want her to rebel firmly and cuddle her babies, I feel so sorry for them.

I am all for fresh air and also think the baby and mothers needs should come first, but I'm with the continuum method.

And hope they are going to give more support for breast feeding!

I think they are editing i tto make it loook extreme. They showed that fox thing four times! Not that CV's method doesn't make me angry, but I think they're playing it up. It's shocking.

I was shocked at the Spock woman's attitude to bf in public. I'm sure spock doesn't say that. Doesn't really fit into that 'guru' usually saying 'do whatever you like' does it?

CV should be arrested for insighting child cruelty and neglect. Seriously, I honestly think she needs sorting out and banning from practicing. One thing I will say in her defence, not that I should bother, is that I dont think she has a clue on the long term consequences. As far as I am aware, Ignorance is not an excuse in the eyes of the law!

We stand by and watch as an unregulated woman who refers to babies as "it", who leaves newborn babies to cry for hours on end, who denies babies cuddles, who leaves them unattended outside and closes the door so one can't hear their screams and who was visibly seen to ignore the cries of two babies when supposedly in sole charge of the babies when the twins parents went out.

I spoke with the NSPCC today and they will make a statement tomorrow. The childless man I spoke to today was drafting it. He doesn't feel that she has done anything illegal but they going to say that they don't agree with her methods. I pointed out that if she was a professional she would be struck off. He said "good point" but she is completely unregulated so they apparently can't do anything. (I wonder if that is more to do with them advertising on Channel 4)

It seems to me that it is perfectly acceptable to abuse babies if you are on television, a different matter if you were a teen mum under the watchful eye of Social Services in the community.

As far as I am concerned, she is actually causing the babies harm, just as if she were physically harming them. She is making those babies start life in such a needlessly unhappy and neglected way. I think that when a new born baby is in that crying state where it is ear piercing, they are actually in pain.

The NSPCC say to complain to Ofcom. So please do Eggontoast (my fav. meal)

I say that is a very poor response from an organisation proporting to prevent child abuse and neglect.

I will have a think about that, Poohbar. I picked this nick name because I had egg on toast for breakfast that day, I love it to!

Poohbah who did you complain to at the NSPCC? I've been searching their website for a suitable spleen venting opportunity but can't find one.

I've complained to Ofcom. Their website recommend complaining to the broadcaster too.

I have a friend who had maternity nurses and followed something similar to this routine (albeit with more physical affection). Her well-wrapped babies were out in their prams in all weathers, including snow, and feeds (bottle) were four-hourly.

Her five children are all obviously loved, charming, physically affectionate and gifted kids.

My breast-fed more-or-less on demand children, cuddled all the time do not appear to be more emotionally adept or empathetic.

I wouldn't have done her way and she wouldn't have done it my way. But who's to say which of us was more 'right'?

But Eliza,

Clare Verity was saying that there must be no physical affection during feeding, that cuddles should be strictly limited and she referred to babies as "it". That day old newborn babies should be left to cry themselves to sleep in a cot in another room.

She now says (five live 9am this morning)that she checks the babies in her care and isn't actually as strict as she was made out to be in the programme which then Daisy Goodwin (the producer of BUB) challenged.

I put my baby out in the fresh air but closely supervised so I don't think anyone is really complaining about different parenting styles, they are actually complaining about her pretending she is an expert and promoting dangerous and outdated advice which may cause babies harm.

I completely agree Eliza. Given current advice given by health visitors in order to prevent SIDS is to have the baby in a cot in your bedroom for the first six months, it seems very dangerous for this programme to be aired and a so called professional encouraging parents to leave babies alone for 3 hours at a time in different rooms. Those people who choose to follow her methods won't have the cameras watching to ensure that the babies aren't being sick or getting so overwrought they hyperventilate. As to the emotional damage which not touching 'it' may or may not bring - that doesn't bear thinking about. What sort of parents hire this woman?

Sorry was agreeing with Poohbah

Sorry was agreeing with Poohbah

Well neglect can be a form of abuse if it does harm to the child but unfortunately Claire Verity hasn't done any actual harm. There would be an argument to say that she is not meeting their needs, one of which is to feel loved.

The NSPCC should put forward the argument that if there is a family out there that believes that their baby's cries are purely attention-seeking, watch bringing up baby and may confirm their view that the baby's doing it on purpose just to get at them. That could be a potentially harmful situation.

Hmmmm issue of whether CV is abusive is controversial. She is doing everything with the parents consent and there isn't enough research on the area of crying babies being left unattended for it to hold in court.

What programme was CV interviewed on....i heard mathew wright from the wright stuff share that she had been on his programme and he thought she a lovely woman. He also didn't think leaving a baby to cry was neccessarily a bad thing

Response from NSPCC Thank you for your email regarding Channel four?s Bringing up Baby series. The NSPCC will decide how to respond after viewing all four episodes of the show. In the mean time we would like to thank you for bringing the matter to our attention. The protection of children should be a prime consideration for the authorities responsible for regulating the content of the media, particularly the broadcast media who have the greatest breadth of audience. The NSPCC tries to maintain an ongoing and constructive relationship with the media outlets and the watchdogs that monitor them, and our Policy Advisors are keeping this area under review.

It is very important that the added weight of viewers' opinions reaches these the organisations responsible for regulating the media, so it is important that you contacted Ofcom.

With regard to methods of bringing up children, the NSPCC believe that a harsh parenting approach and an over-reliance on strict routines are not in the best interests of children. The NSPCC is a supporter of positive parenting techniques. We produce a range of parenting support materials in the form of leaflets and booklets - please see:- www.nspcc.org.uk/helpandadvice/publications/leaflets/parentingleaflets_wda38357.html

Thank you once again for contacting us.

Thanks Poohbar, I'll complain. It is such a shame for the poor children out there who are getting such a rough deal. At least we are trying to keep our children happy. Unfortunately, I am not really a change the world type, more a cry and feel sorry for and wish for change, for all the good that does.