Amber Peat

[Ringsender2]

Just read an article about Amber Peat and found it so utterly saddening. Complete emotional abuse and so severe that she felt she only had one way to stop it continuing. Horrific.

And so sad to know that she is likely to be one of thousands of even tens of thousands of kids experiencing this inadequate and sadistic parenting.

Emotional abuse is now recognised as a crime between partners. It should have been something that raised flags with teachers (which it did) such that they felt they could get her some help. Is there a gap in child protection procedures, or was this another sad safeguarding failure?

@Greensleeves

Thanks january I'm incredibly fortunate though tbh, I got away at 13 by getting a scholarship to a boarding school. I found out that a school friend was taking it and where it was etc, and said "can you take me to take this exam". I found people there who cared about me. Poor Amber didn't have a way out.

I think because they moved around so much, they didn’t tell the dad where they were, so he hadn’t seen her since the divorce.

I think we are kidding ourselves that Amber's dad would have been anymore involved when she was alive, but he does at least seem to be grieving her loss.
I think Amber's mother was the product of her mother, and her mother doesn't seem to think that anything went wrong here at all. Of course Amber loved her mum, every child does no matter what their mother does to them.
Amber's mother just sums up so much that is so very wrong that some women will choose man over child every single time.
Look at Alfie Lamb as well. That little boy died because his mum would rather watch her lover squash him and her him scream, than risk pissing off her man and pulling her little boy up on to her lap.

As a PS I do hope their were child protection procedures put in place for the other children, because with one family scape goat gone who was going to replace her

The thought of Amber's misery, day in day out, is deeply upsetting.

Knowing that thousands of other children are treated in much the same way is also distressing.

For years I have felt rage on behalf of the Ambers of this world and here we are, 2019, and there is still no answer.

What can we do?

My nephew had a similar upbringing... his mother made no secret of the fact she considered him a burden. She put his needs far down the list after her own and those of his stepfather and half siblings. We in the extended family did all we could to make him feel loved and included and I hope it helped but ultimately they want their mother. Even when he died she made it all about her. She was two hours late to his funeral.

Sorry to hear that Elliotboy
I see Amber's stepfather is looking to have a documentary made to show he's been unfairly treated. The man must have the hide of a rhino I'm fairly confident documentary makers aren't lining up to portray him as the victim but he's obviously willing to pursue the idea

@incywincy

My sister would do the same, deeply narcissistic. Everyone else is to blame and she will not rest until that is rammed home.
He did not suicide btw, was cancer. I always felt he'd die v young because he just didn't have the emotional support he needed and I will always believe the cancer was in part caused by the neglect.

I suspect documentary makers would be interested in Danny Peat but a vg one will do it so cleverly that both stepfather and audience will approve result.

How I wish the Ambers of this world could instead document their stories.

The inquest heard that a few weeks before she died, Amber's mother smashed her phone up with a hammer because she suspected Amber of stealing and she wouldn't 'confess'.

I wonder whether that cut her off from any remaining external sources of comfort. Poor poor girl.

Have the other kids been removed from them? Because they need to be.

Horrific.

God it sounds a bit like my childhood. My mum was physically violent towards me and used to smash my belongings up. The worst thing though was the constant put downs and being made fun of.

Even now I'm very defensive all the time, I think due to this.

I wish Amber could have realised that she only had a few more years until she was an adult and that she could have been free of them then.

I used to run away all the time and the police would just take me home. Nobody ever actually asked me what was wrong or why I was running away. That was in the 80s though, you'd think things had improved by now!

@ ring

I read that the stepfather had been removed from the family home and that he had only supervised access to the younger sister (Riley)

This was local to me. I said at the time I thought she was being abused due to her expression on photos etc and I got absolutely hammered for it. I was hoping I was wrong but I recognise that face because that was my face as a child.

Her mother apparently “doesn’t understand and will never know why she did it”

I’m furious that her and her step dad aren’t facing charges.

I bet Amber's mum and step dad rant about all the trouble she's caused
An indicator in whether a parent will neglect or abuse a child is a history of animal cruelty. Just another reason why they should have been all over this family.