In England the McCanns would be arrested

[LostPuppy]

Off the bat, I of course hope with all my heart that Madeleine is returned safely

But her "parents" are a disgrace. They left Madeleine and two-year-old twins Sean and Amelie sleeping in the apartment ON THEIR OWN. They had taken turns to return from the restaurant to check on their children.

Now hang on! In this country that is illegal, for very good reason.

Even if they 'checked on them' every five minutes that's plenty of time for one of the kids to wake up and try to go to the toilet and crack it's head open slipping on the bathroom floor, or something equally disastrous. They'd never hear the screaming from a bloody restaurant down the road!

Obviously it's unlikely, but I just cant comprehend the mentality of leaving three children under 3 alone on their own, ever, let alone at night in a foreign country!

Kathy - I have always left the doors to his room and whatever room I'm in open. I can hear ds if he coughs or even sighs in his sleep. You can't guard against SIDS obviously. I know there might be noises he makes that I can't hear, but I would hope that I would be able to hear him choking. If I thought I couldn't hear him that well, I would use a baby monitor.

It's absurd to say that because we all take risks sometimes that all decisions we make are correct. Anyway, I'm not sure that the people who would leave the children and go to dinner do think it's a risk. Surely they do it thinking the children will be okay.

Message withdrawn

Dear latyis 6 inches high

"Our house has terrible sound insulation but with the tv on you don't hear my dd screaming till she gets really loud."

PLEASE use a monitor so it is loud enough that you hear your child immediately she starts. PLEASE!

Sorry Mumpbump, I didn't realise that you are one of these people who never goes to sleep yourself

Of course, driving your kids in a car is a risk. Crossing the road with them is one of the biggest risks you can take. But the point is, these are largely unavoidable risks if you want to live a normal life - I mean, how many of us could get through an average day without crossing any roads? But leaving three toddlers unattended so that you can have dinner a deux is just unnecessary. As Quatroccento says, being a parent is not the same as being a non-parent. You give up your 'right' to drop-of-a-hat quality time as a couple, for a start. If you want to go out, you get a babysitter. It's not difficult.

I am surprised at the tone and anger expressed. every one is praying for the return of Maddy to her family, and we all feel they have suffered terribly. But It is valid to say I was shocked that they left 3 very young children alone.

Dinosaur - I agree with you about the driving. You might be the best driver in the world, but you can't account for the other idiots on the road, as my mum always says! Mind you, I try to avoid driving when the pubs are closing for that reason so am probably just a massively risk averse person!!

And when people take risks, they usually take precautions to minimise the risks. They use a seatbelt in the car and look carefully before they cross the road. And when they go out for the night they get a babysitter.

Lostpuppy - sorry, I take my childcare lessons from people I respect, not from unpleasant and small-minded lynch mob members.

FFS people are entitled to their opinions and at the end of the day the OP is only stating what a huge amount of people are feeling.

No no one is a perfect parent but I don't know anyone that would ever consider leaving small children on their own. I have a nearly 10 year and wouldn't leave him for a second.

I think this needs to be discussed. It is a major factor in the whole case. Of course no one wants to persecute the parents. The poor people are going through hell and back and need support not condemnation.

However the OP has a right to their views, end of.

Kathy - I do go to sleep liek everybody else, but, unfortunately, I am cursed with being a light sleeper and am woken up by ds two to three times a night, coughing, murmuring, sighing, etc, whether he is in the next room or ours. I seriously wish it wasn't like that as I would get a better night's sleep, but that's just the way I am programmed...

It was a mistake a great huge horrible whopping mistake.

They know that, we know that, everybody knows it. Do you think the parents aren't regretting their decision every waking moment?

BUT they did not intend anything like this to happen. They can not be called a 'disgrace' or 'parents' or treated as neglectful. It was a mistake a misjudgment.

If they are guilty of anything it will be of being on holiday, relaxed, doing what all the other families there have admitted they also do.

I agree with jayne222, I was also shocked that anyone would leave 3 children alone in an apartment while they went out for dinner.

I do hope that Maddy is returned safely and I'm sure her parents deeply regret the decisions they made.

Frascati, the OP expresses its views in an offensive way. This is not a debate about fruit shoots.

I still stabd by my last statement:

The only person(s) to blame for Madeleine's disappearance is the person who has taken her.

I agree IF. But it's been a real surprise to me to discover that many people seem to think that it was a reasonable thing to do.

Katy

Please believe me when I say that I am not blaming the McCanns for what they did for no useful purpose.

I recognise that by what I am saying I am blaming them. But I am saying this because there is a widespread misapprehension that leaving your toddlers unattended and home alone is a matter of parental choice.

It is not. What they did is clearly illegal. There were so many hazards (both inside the building and outside) that the children were clearly not safe.

This is the reason that I am posting. Believe me I am posting from the heart for the sake of all the children whose parents may think that it is okay to nip out to the pub for half an hour. It's not.

Do they though NFK?

When I went to collect dd from school one afternoon the mums were talking about it and they were saying really awful things like: 'They got what they deserve leaving their kids alone' 'I can't feel sorry for them' etc. etc.

The more noble approach is to see that they are very loving parents. They made a mistake.

And i agree with Hulababy. It's the sickos in the world who make it impossible to leave kids who are to blame.

Kathy,

Are you seriously telling me that yourdaughter has to be crying REALLY LOUDLY before you hear her?

I am speechless.

Okay, maybe I've read too much into MN postings where there did seem to be a tendency to say that it was okay and they'd done it and so on.

NKF - that's because anyone who dares to say anything different gets metaphorically lynched as this thread has demonstrated!!!

Hulababy

I agree with you that the only person(s) to blame for Madeleine's disappearance is the person who has taken her.

But what if instead of being abducted, Madeleine had woken up, pushed open the patio doors that had been left unlocked, and sleepily fallen into the pool and drowned?

Nobody would foresee the risk of abduction. It's so statistically unlikely as to be out of sight. The McCann family were desperately unlucky.

But there are other risks. That's why it is worth making the point.