I am so sick of all the rubber-necking that has been going on with regard to a recent and tragic news topic.

[Bubble99]

And all under the guise of 'concerned fellow-parent/s'

I met a mother at school today (never spoken to her before) who approached me and said ..'Have you heard about? What do you think about?' and the freak was almost smiling. It's as if this nightmare has become entertainment for some people.

There is a voyeuristic, collective sickness going on , safe under the umbrella of 'concerned parents.'

Yuk.

Dejavu should we/ should we not be able to talk about this. We are a group of people who all feel very differently and respond differently to things. That's what makes mn so varied and interesting. Why must we start another argument trying to tell people how to deal with this ? We will never agree and tbh it's judgmental of others.

Here are a list of the children who have gone missing from the UK over the last two years and are on the missing children's register online. Why aren't we worrying about them too?

Zhara Abdi Or Ibdi
Kai Lun Chen
Tan Jing Chen
Naomi Denton-Younger
Thao Do
Luke Durbin
Umurerwa Habimana
Mohammed Anwar Hossain
Momina Hanana Hussain
Muzamil Hussain
Ashia Jabbi
Temitope Juniade
Ying Lee
Lingran Lin
Lingshan Lin
Yan Lin
Lillian Sarah Lyustiger
Maya Leila Mahmoud
Javian Matthews
Nina Muchova
Dung Thi Nguyen
Linh Thuy Nguyen
Minh Anh Nguyen
Sadiq Niazi
Elizabeth Ogungbayibi
Ashley Ojeuderie
Kenny Ojeuderie
Amy Orsmond
Samantha Osborn
Yen Pham
Ha Thi Phung
Nassima Sadia
Katerina Shikreli
Mohammed Jahid Ul Haque
Qin Wang
Charles Watkinson

I'm afraid I find it deeply offensive to suggest that people who are upset and moved by the plight of this child are either mentally ill or enjoying every minute of it. I think that is truly depraved.

Being upset and moved is very appropriate Aloha. How are 1000s of posts obsessively speculating about it and people constantly trawling the net for global tabloid gossip appropriate? How are cameras following this mother and her family around appropriate?

'need to take care of their mental health' is very different friom saying people are mentally ill

I agree - it can become obsessive viewing and we need to take care that we don't become obsessive about it.

God MP, that's depressing reading.

At risk of being shouted down, a lot of the names don't sound white middle class, so of course the papers aren't going to care. I don't agree with that at all and think pics and names of ALL missing kids should be everywhere, otherwise how are they ever going to be found.

But that's not what people are saying on this thread. People are saying that even thinking about this child or feeling upset about what has happened to her is wrong. I think your posts suggest that too, I'm afraid. I still lose sleep over the poor bloody kids I saw on Red Nose Day a couple of years ago. I worry about the poor bastards in Guantanamo Bay. It is NORMAL to care about other people - yes, even if you don't 'know' them. My old neighbour, a lawyer, who works to save people on death row, doesn't only work for people she already knew previously.

"People are saying that even thinking about this child or feeling upset about what has happened to her is wrong."

Who has said that?

"I think your posts suggest that too, I'm afraid."

Well I unreservedly apologise for that implication and if you tell me where I suggested that I will take it back.

a lot of the children missing in the UK are much older and newly arrived in the country which is why there isn't so much reporting on them, they are children that have moved around and possibly been un accompanied minors....

some of them have run away from the care system.

I remember there was an article with pictures etc in one of the papers a couple of months ago.

What is so upsetting about this particular case is the age of the child and the fact that she has so obviously been taken rather than chosen to leave iyswim.....

MP I will get lambasted for this, but from what I can see of the names of those children, you are right, they all sound different to 'Maddie Mcann', as in they are names that are not generally British. I would like to think that in the communities of those children, everything is being done.
Maybe there are language problems blah blah blah.

Also, perhaps the people on your list hadn't integrated with everyone. No teacher saying what lovely kids they are, or neighbours saying what little sods they are etc. If people do not integrate into the community, the Meedja will not find anyone to interview, or care and their Names will be lost. Sad, but I believe true

I agree UCM

I wonder how many of the children in mp's list are custody issues, where they have not been returned by the non-resident parent? (If that's the right term) How many of them are truly missing in the same way as Madeleine?

It is true to say that child abductions happen all over the world, regularly. If you visit unicef , save the children and other child focused websites there are whole chapters given over to the problem.

If the discussions of this very distressing and sad case do nothing else, they should serve to unite all parents in the desire to be vocal and end ALL child abductions, and to campaign for internationally agreed measures to protect children from predators whatever race, nation or class the affected families come from.

For that reason, whilst I do not like morbid speculation, I AM absolutely in favour of media and public interest and discussion in this case.

eg these 2

It's not the same thing, is it?

UCM - yes.

Have to agree with mp.

I don't want to comment on the actual intricacies of this particular 'incident' but rather on the way that the press presents it relentlessly. It reminds me alot about certain other incidents such as when Diana died. I think that the way things are continually shown on television, the 24 hours nature of news and the ridiculous questions that reporters ask and answer fuels the public so much that perspective is lost. The disappearance of this poor girl is tragic and so was Diana's death but no more tragic than the hundreds of incidents that are tossed aside because they do not make 'good' news.

I watched a BBC report tonight from the Algarve when the reporter was answering her colleague about how the family were feeling and coping. After a few lines of bullshit, the reporter replied "actually, we don't know how they feel or how they are coping, we can only speculate". I think that absolutely sums it up. Of course the press should report on this abduction and I expect that the family are keen to keep the story in the public eye, but the garbage and voyeuristic element that comes along with it is sickening. Don't get me wrong; when I come home at night I flick the TV on to see whether this poor child has been found but I don't sit and cry about it or become depressed. I have to say that I actually get more upset about news reports concerning starving children and famine because I find the immense scale of this far more difficult to deal with.

I also believe that the fact that the McCanns are white and middle class makes it for SOME people something far easier to identify with as opposed to say, the child of an asylum seeker or single mother. However, this also serves to work the other way - I have heard people gossiping about how someone so 'educated' could have left their child. I'm not arguing either way but the point is, that our stereotypes and the way we perceive different groups in society does tend to colour our response towards them - sometimes we are not even aware of it. Its a vicious circle because the media perpetuates these stereotypes. For instance, how about the terrible college shootings in America a few weeks ago? 33 people died but on the same day a bomb in Iraq killed over 100 people including children. The latter story was hardly covered - I wonder why??.

I think my ability to distance myself also stems from personal circumstances. A member of my family is terminally ill and my emotions, thoughts and prayers are entirely with them. I could cry for this person for months but that is because I know, love and respect him. We simply do not KNOW this family and I therefore think that crying and becoming depressed about it is rather over the top. We should of course spare a thought and prayer for this poor family, but not to the extent that it affects day to day life.

Rantum, if this can raise enough interest to get some decent laws passed to save all those little ones who disappear every day then the media circus will have been worth it, no matter how distasteful. But I don't think it will happen.

I have already said before that until I watched that recent drama Human Trafficking I didn't realise, and was shocked by, how easy it is for these people to exist. As repugnant as they are those who exploit human suffering, particularly children, make use of the lack of strict international laws.

I can only hope Madeleine McCann is not one of those unfortunate. Hope.

What an intelligent and well put post, countrylass.

I agree.

Countrylass, despite the fact that I don't know you I am very sorry to hear of your own personal tragedy.

I think that you have been very succint in your point and I agree with you about the excessive emotion that people often seem capable of displacing onto situations that do not directly affect them - vicariously taking another person's tragedy on as if it is their own. Nonetheless, I would reiterate my point that it is valid to discuss the issues surrounding child abduction for the reasons I cited in my earlier post.

I'm sorry but I disagree. I think as a mother it is all too easy to put yourself in the parents place. To even put your child in their child's place.

I think it is every parent's worst nightmare so you cannot help but empathise. You even think, there but for the Grace of God go I. It is possible to grieve without knowing the people you are grieving for. Why do you think people set up charities helping people they have never met?

Please let's not go on and on about why people feel this or do this etc. It's not really relevant.

TwoIfBySea. Things only happen if we make them happen. Join a campaign, bring it to your own town, donate to a charity that works in this area. Discuss what can be done with others on MN!

There are WAY more mothers and fathers who want to protect their own (and other people's) children and want the world to be a safe place where we do not need to be in constant fear for our children safety, than there are people who would harm children.

NUMERICALLY we could make a change if we ALL did something proactive.

Agree

Perhaps there is something positive that we could channel all this energy into? Any suggestions?

here

I'm pretty good friends with two of our Greek postgrad students.

We've been talking about this case.

They tell me things have changed in Greece since countries like Albania joined the EU because of child and human trafficking.

Until people start taking this seriously and LOCKING PAEDOS UP FOREVER WITH ZERO chance for parole we'll struggle with this.

This is NOT a criminal habit from which one can be successfully rehabilited. At least, not that any studies or science have been able to show as of yet.

Until such time, such people MUST be locked up in max security FOR LIFE. Child abusers and traffickers are some of the most cunning, intelligent and manipulative liars on the planet.