Any threads on the embryo case?

[Quootiepie]

Just wondering, as I think the decision is today...

but they did split up and he doesn't want to start a family with her, which seems very sensible. She has to accept that their relationship ended before they had children.

I can't help thinking that maybe the embryos shouldn't have been frozen but her eggs should (if this was possible).

IMO they were tiny potential human beings that should have been given the right to a chance of life but it is not a clear cut case - so awful, I really really feel for the woman.

It is easy to say the man is being spiteful but I also see his point of view that he no longer wants children with her.

But having said that the 'children' have already been created so he is, in effect, killing them.

God I don't know what to think. It's so sad

I feel really sorry for her but believe the judgement is right. From what I've read he isn't being malicious but has had trouble with her in the past (nuisance calls etc to try to get him back). He thinks she wants the child in order to tie him to her forever. Really awful for both parties IMO

Re "Why should he be forced to have a child he doesn't want?":

If this woman gives birth to these embryos, the man will be uncomfortable with the knowledge that somewhere there is a child that is genetically his. He would not be happy with that situation.

If the woman is prevented access to these embryos, she will never be a mother (to genetically her own children). Her pain and grievence at this (now) certainty is obvious to all.

Personally, I would like to see a system of law in place where, in conflicting interests of such personal nature, the decision would be based on the relative importance and depth of the suffering caused to the parties.

That is, compare "he wouldn't like to be a sperm donor" to "she will never have children, ever". On whose side should the law be?

Wilkie, at the time, it wasn't possible to have that done...the eggs only freezing, I mean!

but you can't measure pain and suffering

cotedAzur..put like that, certainly a no-brainer

I'd feel a lot more trust in a law that upheld signed contracts made by adults, and didn't simply overrule them on the grounds that sticking to a previous agreement would make one of them very sad.

It's the right decision imho but feel for the woman.

if this had been allowed then it might have retrospectively affected many people..the case couldn't be granted

Cote d'Azur - maybe he wants to be more than just a sperm donor to any children of whom he is he genetic father.

I think the only mistake the guy made was agreeing in the first place. Talk about a decision coming back to haunt you.

FI, but for some people that is an important issue, I am sorry, for me, it is, only for me it wasn't so much an issue because I was able to fall pg, and carry out the pg's and have 3 children of my own....maybe if I wasn't able to, maybe then I would have seeked out other options, but I personally can not imagine myself loving any child the same way as my own...if that makes me a bad person, than well, I suppose that is what I am then!
However, I would think really, that it is not unnatural at all to want biological children, I suppose really that is what mother natrue intendet, to ensure the lifecycle continoues, etc...

Is there anyone here who is about to say that we don't prefer to have our own biological children?

If you have no other choice, sure, adoption is better than not having any children. However, if you have a couple of your own embryos sitting in a lab fridge, of course you are going to fight tooth and nail to have them growing in your tummy.

It's very human.

NKF...I do think though, that her regreet are even bigger...she only had the embryos created with his sperm, because she trusted him, they were in a relationship, and yadda...if she would have knows all she knws now, I would think she would have rather used Donor sperm...bet he would have been ratehr put out about it at the time, though...

Sure it's human but not necessarily wise. Also human not to want to have your biological children born to an ex. But that is also wise I'd say.

Of course. Awful for both of them. But he didn't choose the legal nightmare. That has been dumped on him.

Fio...I have to admit, I didn't realise it said that in teh contract...tbh....then she should have just gone for donor sperm...pissing him off or not...at least she would have had her Baby by now...well...presuming it all would have worked out!

You know the pursuit to have ones own child can become a complete obsession. I can eprsaonlly relate to the woman.

I bet it feels to her like her hearts desire is almost within her grasp here, God I remember when we were havign problems conceiving, how everywhere I went I'd spot a gorgeous looking heavily pregnant woman, how everyone but me was falling pg celebrities friends, family. I with my intense fear of needles was willing to undergo the most invasive of procedures, and I didn't care about anything as much as having my own child, I actually pleaded with my husband that if it turned out to be me and we couldn't conceive than he should leave me and marry someone else so at least he woulds have his own children (he thoguht I was bonkers on that one, he'd decided his kismet was linked with mine).
It was all that I wanted, the only thing I dreamed about, and my god it hurt like hell everytime I got my period.....

But I do agree the ruling was the correct one, but I have an inkling how she must be hurting

Well....she didn't choose to have cancer and loose her ovaries, she possibly didn't choose the split up....things are dumped on people all teh time.
I really don't blame her fighting for it...

I don't think the contract said anything about the relationship ending. For IVF to happen, consent of both is required at various stages. That's what they both signed. She wanted the contract (drawn up in line with UK law) overruled by the European Courts.

I don't think I'd blame her. But I can't say that I think she made the right decision. The outcome proved she didn't really.

I must disagree with Fiofio's post.
I had no trouble conceiving, so I can not comprehend what it feels like. But I do know lots of women who have had problems. And there are zillions of threads on the TTC.
For some women, understandably so, biological child of their own is VERY important. And to just suggest adoption or some alternative, does not give enough understanding to the depth of their feelings.