Yet another article re: why mothers should return to work

[boogiewoogie]

Just snatching a couple of minutes during a coffee break, will come back. What do you think of this?

no i am going off to talk about tuna ! i agree it is absurd that so may seemingly intellignet women who say they are feminists have ended up talking about make up

OMG, this reminds me why I like my job and dont spend all my time in all-female company cackling outside the school gates

And by the way...I am STUNNING

i suspect xenia eats lobster at her desk while the rest of us do with a tuna sandwich

Anna mentioned she was prettier, thinner and sexier than anyone else or something, not me. I never mentioned looks.

well I'm losing the will to live with this thread now so can I just say

I don't like tuna!

all i can say is women can be the biggest misogynists of all.

Well I'm all those things. But I didn't want to mention it earlier , even when you were banging on about all SAHMs going to pot (which you HAVE done, more than once).

I agree with yr, most professional women look terrible - tired and completely uninterested in fashion or femininity.

This isn't serious is it? Sorry but I'm new to mn and perhaps I need the jokes flagging up.

I think you can see the madness that SAHdom inflicts on you quite clearly from reading this thread

i think SAHMs should stop being lazy and et a fkin job.

I think Anna has certainly got a touch of the wicked witch from Snow White about her today. Mirror mirror on the wall, whose the fairest of use all. You are fair beyond compare but Xenia's the fairest of the fair!

Cue Anna tearing out of her Paris apartment hopping on the Eurotunnel and on to Pinner. Where upon she finds seven (or is it five)mini Xenias all purposefully employed, singing 'Hi ho!, Hi ho, it's off to work we go!'. She sticks a poisoned apple into the mouth of a shocked Xenia - and thinks she has seen the back of her! Now Anna can rule supreme as MN queen of SAHdom, unfettered by Xenia's 'go to work' message.

To be continued...

I don;t think you can ever end this debate and so many people havesuch strong views. I moved to cyprus when ds was five weeks old and in effect gave up my career. Ds is now nearly 7 months and i am in limbo. I miss work like crazy but at the same time don;t want to miss out as i love being at home. I also find it incredibly difficult being financially dependent on dh .Ideally i like to work part time and if a suitable job comes up i will go for it (if i can find child care i am happy wiht) but i am very very aware that as a mum i will have to work harder to "prove" that i can do the job just as well as someone without children. Then comes the endless worry about what happens when they are ill etc etc its all a nightmare!!

Like it, soapbox .

Well wb it's your partner's / husband's job to arrange and pay for childcare as much as you. Normal equal marriages where both people are valued as workers there is no female bias as regards childcare so just tlel him you're going back to work and either he will have to give up his work or arrange childcare but no reason it should be your duty to arrange, fine or pay, although paying half each is presumably fairest.

I don't think I've ever said I was prettier than Anna. I've never seen her. I think studies show that in all culture symmetry of face is a key factor - so if both sides match more people find that attractive which I think I have and also the ration between bust, waist and hips is fairly culturally neutral and a key feature in attraction - out, in, out with 10 inches of difference or something like that which I probably just about have but I am not sure beauty contests are quite what I'm after.

In fact I often think whatever my mother or father did to me which worked that meant I am content with how I look is one of the nicest things I have because I genuinely don't mind getting older. My stock in trade, earning, ability to be paid for by men isn't my looks. My work, my life, my books, my children etc are a separate thing. Whereas some women and dare I say it attractive women who don't work and snare a rich man which might be what Anna is suggesting she has, worry so much as they get older because looks is their main thing and they can easily be traded in for a younger model. Working mothers with thrilling careers don't run these risks.

Lets face it we can't win.
Stay at home mums - lazy slackers
Working mums - neglect the kids
People who have kids - excuse to sponge off the state
People who don't have kids - selfish not thinking of producing the next generation of workers.
No matter which way you go, someone will say that it's a lifestyle choice! Which is crazy, because unless you go through life without making a single decision for yourself, every choice you make is a lifestyle choice!

thrilling careers

i think they are the minority.

chickbaby, stop being so sensible dammit.

jesus can't you see people think this is actually serious?

Having read the original article, (and not wanting to get dragged into whether or not I'd be a more neglectful mother by going out to work or staying at home), I'm left wondering why it is considered so cut-and-dried that if you carry on working you will have no risk of financial worry in the future.

Businesses fail as well as marriages. I've been made redundant twice from jobs that on the surface seemed secure so I should know. And we all know that pension funds can get raided. It's happened to my next-door neighbour and he is still working though he should have been retired on a decent pension by now.

I found the article a bit smug. Kind of "I've carried on working so I'll be financially secure while all the stupid SAHPs will be stuffed". Well sorry, but nothing is guaranteed I'm afraid. Ask anyone who has slogged their guts out for years building their own business and still ended up bankrupt and having to sell their house.

Fantastic post, Soapy.

Xenia, I said hello to you earlier and waved. And you have not said hello back.

Anna,
"'m slim, (very) pretty, have lots to talk about with my partner and all my family and do lots of fun things with my child that we both enjoy. In fact, she has given me opportunities to do things I would never have been able to do before I had her - for example I commissioned a drawing of her from an artist and other artist friends of hers thought my daughter so beautiful (she was naked in the drawing by the way) that now I have artists and photographers ASKING ME to use her as a model and I have this amazing collection of artworks that I receive in return for the favour. And I meet all these young international artists in Paris... it's wonderful, and all because of my daughter."

wow you really do blow your own trumpet don't you?

BTW, I am sure that working contributes to me being fatter than I'd like to admit. I sit on my arse all day. No time (or money -- thanks to the cost of childcare) to get in shape. If I stayed at home it would be a very different story.

i think this thread only proves ONE thing: feminism is dead or it is dying

YR - why do you think that?