Yet another article re: why mothers should return to work

[boogiewoogie]

Just snatching a couple of minutes during a coffee break, will come back. What do you think of this?

I agree that it's not particularly charming terminology but I can assure you that it doesn't shock anyone here.

The teachers told me that children who have been to nursery are already accustomed to "institutional" (her word) life so there are some things that they already know that children who have been at home with their mothers don't.

Children who have been at home have more fertile imaginations, apparently, and more verbal. According to the school, the two groups two tend to stay apart for the first few months.

Anna - since you are big into analysis - where is teh research and evidence on which all of this paranoia is predicated?

Soapbox - yes, most mothers work here.

This is an international issue.

Oh Anna - just because the teachers at your DCs school (only the one;s you ahve talked to) share your prejudices, that doesn;t make them right!

Come on - where are the facts!

"more fertile imagination" - how the f is that measured?

Anna - There are positives to putting children in decent quality daycare, you know. An educational psychologist I spoke to yesterday (not in a professional capacity, I might add) was telling me how beneficial she believes nurseries are to children and that there are many children who would be benefitted from going before the age of 2. I am telling you this to make it clear that it is by no means universally accepted by those who are qualified to comment that children are best off staying at home with their mothers. The article that started this thread notes how it is not necessarily in the mother's best interests either.

Thank god dd2 spent time in her institution then as she's already far too verbal and never shuts up, I shudder to think what she'd have been like if she'd been home-reared.

It is my opinion that some of the SAHMs you've talked to have pretty vivid imaginations, actually, Anna.

Soapbox - come on, you read the newspapers I presume?

So what about the children who have been to nursery 1 or 2 or 3 days a week? Are they instituionalised? Perhaps the nursery children have already made friends with each other which is why they stick together? So then the other children tend to become friends together? I know my DS played most with his friends he already knew when he started school. But now well on in Y1 he has made new friends as well.

well if that's the case, then after the first few months, they mix and both groups are then similarly institutionalised

sounds like bollocks to me though

my children were far happier in their pre-school than they were sat at home with me every day - they used to skip back in after holiday time! Some children, if not most, need that socialisation.

It surely depends on the sort of stay at home parent you have. You might have a ball at nursery and a really dreary, unstimulating time at home.

Anna - i do not agree with a word you are saying! Your daughter's school are not the sole authorative voice on childrens' development. I would argue that a child's verbal and other skills develop at THEIR OWN PACE ... end of story. And, i don't believe calling children "institutionlised" is acceptable and not shocking where you live either

I dont know anything about life in France, but I have two children in UK-schools and I can honestly not tell who have been at home,to nursery, had a nanny or au pair AT ALL. Some children read better than others, some children are more sociable, some more disruptive. It seems to me on the whole to depend on other variables than if your mum worked or not.

LOL - Anna you do make me laugh!

No I don't want some columnists view- in fact even then I think it would be inconclusive and depend on which newspaper you chose to read!

I want some evidence based facts - come on where are they then?

Not looking quite so analytical now, are you Anna

LOL fennel I was kind of thinking that about my DC as well. Maybe if I upped DD's nursery days I might be able to get a word in occasionally.

Plibble - yes, sure, if the mother doesn't give out much to her child I'm sure a nursery is a more stimulating setting. I have plenty of friends who have switched from nanny to nursery because their children weren't learning anything from the nanny and nursery could offer so much more, so that has to be true of some mothers as well.

I also think that if the two groups stay apart for a few months, it can't be that fundamental a difference. A few months is no time at all.

Come on Soapbox, these issues are addressed every day in the media, there are acres and acres of books on the shelves of every local bookstore written by professionals and amateurs that discuss these issues from every possible angle.

There is lots of evidence that pre-school care can be a positive experience for some children. I personally don't think it is good for all children (or all mothers).

I'm just PMSL, thinking of how one might rationalise issues of policy making wrt young children's care by saying 'as you will have read in the Daily Mail...'

Taylor - read what I said, you think I have taken sides (and that my daughter's school has taken sides) when I haven't

Ah, you read the DM Soapbox???

So now this is your own personal view! So based on your own personal views, you think Xenia's own personal views are wrong. Based on your own personal views you think nurseries are harmful to children.

That's fine - end of debate then.

you can hold whatever personal view you choose to afaiac, I am only bothered by your statements that indicate that your views are 'right'!

I knew the Daily Mail would strike a chord with you Anna - it is afterall well known for its jaundiced views on women who woth!

NK - apparently there is a lasting verbal difference, but this is a very particular school (bilingual French-English). There are some family situations that are more favourable than others to the development of bilingualism.