Yet another article re: why mothers should return to work

[boogiewoogie]

Just snatching a couple of minutes during a coffee break, will come back. What do you think of this?

most, in fact, almost all of the SAHPs I know (and it's quite a few) are SAHPs because of their partner's work - so either the partner works away/abroad a lot or works unpredictable hours.

They can't justify the cost of a nanny, which is the sort of childcare which would work out with the hours they need. Most of those SAH partners plan on doing something once the kids are in school (though I have pointed out that the childcare issues don't miraculously disappear once children are in school!).

FM - people fight against after-school clubs, childcare etc because they are very worried that these things will become universal, that they will be coerced into using them, that their taxes will be used to pay for them and that they are harming the nation's children.

So they do affect them.

Also, mother-raised children and institutionally-raised children are different from one another. At the school where my daughter will be going in September, they ask specific questions about the children and whether they have been in childcare, with a nanny or with their mother prior to school, as this has an impact on how they behave at school.

I dont know anything about Finland, which isnt actually a Scandinavian country. It is a Nordic country. It is true both Norway and Sweden have excellent maternity and paternity leave and children dont normally start nursery before the age of at least 12 months. It is also more acceptable for women to take caree-breaks. I do know a couple of SAHMS in Sweden, but their children go to nursery as they would not want them to miss out. Nursery is not seen as this scary thing in Sweden. It is seen as a good thing for children. Obviously Scandinavia isnt Utopia, but provides a great role model I think. France does not I agree!

Can I just clarify that if the meeting was one where they were talking about putting nails into poor neglected children of WOHM once the SAHM's well-adjusted offspring were safely at home, tucking into a balanced dinner, then there'd be something to complain about.

But if it was just a "let's set up an after-school club where children can spend time, possibly even enjoying themselves" discussion, the SAHMs should've butted out.

If they're SAHMs, it's their partners who ought to mind about their taxes being used.

The SAHMs should just get on with spending their husband's money, surely [offensive for the sake of it]

anna - it is phrases like this which make my blood boil "mother-raised children and institutionally-raised children" - I AM RAISING MY DS with my DH and extended family!!!! his nursery is not an institution - i object to this stereotyping - it is hurtful and unhelpful.

Until we live in this Utopia where flexi-time and cheap child care exist as well as other working practices give FAMILIES real choice we should perhaps learn to respect one another a little more????

Christ on a bike, "institutionally-raised"?! FFS! Now that is offensive!

agree Hunker - absolutely fuming right now

FM - certainly my Swedish friends are horrified at the nurseries in France and think they are terrible compared to Swedish nurseries. Here nurseries are for 3-month olds to 3 year olds (you are chucked out on your third birthday) and very restrictive. That is because there is not enough money to pay for anything better. Which is the case for lots of countries.

'people fight against after-school clubs, childcare etc because they are very worried that these things will become universal, that they will be coerced into using them, that their taxes will be used to pay for them and that they are harming the nation's children'

well then they are delusional - I don't know what SAHPs you have been talking to but I've never met anyone who thinks that way.

Fairymum - in that situation, I think I'd have been tempted to go to the head and ask about not having people in the meeting whose children it didn't affect. How utterly ridiculous of those mothers.

Can I just say that I don't use a nursery, so it's not even as if I'm feeling outrage based on personal feelings of buried guilt - I'm just pissed off that anyone can describe a child who spends some time each week in a nursery as "institutionally-raised".

I was only using (in translation) the exact terms used by my daughter's school.

Anna - how could anyone be forced to use an after school club? I don't understand that part of the statemetn.

Institutionally raised children! FGS! How charming that housewives are worried about fter-school clubs are harming my children or that they have to pay for them by their taxes. What taxes are housewives paying anyway Anna. At least I pay taxes so why should they not contribute to my childcare-bill as well as to pay for a housewives NHS bill. Strange logic.

Yes teachers do ask if they have been to nursery. My DDs teacher told me children who had been to nursery often adjust easier to life at school so there are obviously different takes on this. Personally I dont think you can tell the difference. There are so many variables in a childs life it is not just about who have been to nursery and who has been at home watching Fern and Phil with mummy for 4 years

Sorry - coerced - but I still don't understand.

anna - your daughter's school should beware of using such unpleasant terminology and perhaps you should think more carefully about bandying such phrases around??

they ask those sorts of questions because children who have been in nursery/pre-school are often more used to group situations than children who have not gone to anything before they start school - also, if they have been to nursery/pre-school, it means they can talk to the staff there or get a report so they have some idea of what the child is like/any problems

NK - they are worried that it will become a societal norm for all children to attend daycare in the early years before school and that being an SAHM will become impossible. This is a legitimate concern.

I don't have any problem with schools asking the question and I do think that perhaps the term has lost something in the translation [hopeful]

WHY will being a SAHM be impossible?

That's paranoid lunacy, IMO.

Mind you, if all you have to occupy you is daytime TV, wiping noses and bottoms and the laundry, I can see how people would have time for this sort of paranoia [keeps up the offensive theme]

well they should stop worrying about what society thinks and get on with their own lives

I can't see how that would make being a sahm impossible anyway - surely you do what suits you/what you need to do to get by and sod what everyone else thinks.

I thought it was already teh societal norm for both parents of young children in France to WOTH?

Anna - I think that's a far fetched fear. Even if it was a "societal norm" by which I assume you mean most people do it, then it wouldn't be "impossible" to be a SAHM. Anyway, after school clubs aren't in the early years before school.

So you want to make it impossible to work just in case a law should be passed forcing all children to attend after-school clubs. Makes sense to me. not..