I love him but not his kids - from Saturday's Guardian

[puddle]

I was quite shocked when I read this article and thought there might be a thread on it - as there isn't I am starting one.

If I was the mother of this man's children I would be very tempted to insist that this woman does not spend any more time with them. I am sure that these feelings are fairly commmon - what upset me is that she has put those children in a position where they would know this is how she feels about them - the oldest one is nine.

article is here\link{http://www.guardian.co.uk/family/story/0,,2030147,00.html}

I love that tale SaintMaybe - reading it has made my day

Caligula - yes - I think she shows herself up quite badly in not even being aware of the currency of her own jealousy. She seems to maintain an indignant tone that assumes we will sympathise with her.

I found the views on there really upsetting. She sounds as though she has an emotional age of about 6 herself. It can be really hard being a step-parent, I found it really difficult suddenly not being in control of a large portion of my life, and I would defy anyone to find it easy when there's a very acrimonious relationship between your partner and his ex (very very in my case). I still can not conceive of feeling jealous of your partner's children, I really can't. The love thing is fair enough in a way, it can't be forced. I do love my step-children- it's not the same as my own children, but it's still love. I'm just speechless about her behaviour.

I don't have step children and I can only imagine what a hard situation to be in it must be. Having said that I thought this woman sounded very selfish. Very Insecure. How can you be jealous of a child. Surely she must realise that his children need loads of affection from their father especially if they are going through a tough time. I miagine its not easy seeing her with their father. I don't understand how a father could be with someone who hates his kids.

I hope he dumps the selfisch little bitch. And that goes for all the others who were quoted too.

Tamum - I agree with you about the emotional age of 6 thing - to me the article almost read like sibling rivalry and she wanted Daddy all to herself. Did it mention their ages I can't remember, I got the impression that she was younger than him, but maybe not?

saint - loved the saying, haven;t heard that before.

I think it is absolutely awful that she has aired these feelings so publicly, and terrible her husband has clearly let her.

It worries me that my ex could end up with someone like that. I wouldn't expect a stepmum to love my dd necessarily, but I would want her to care for her and be happy to spend time with her when she is at her dad's. The idea that she might resent her time with him horrifies me.

I would also hope that if I meet a possible stepdad he will care for my daughter, and I wouldn't be with someone who doesn't.

Very depressing article indeed. I am sure step-parenting is hard, but I would hope for someone who thought a little more about the child/ren and a little less about herself.

And she is younger, she is 30, he is 43.

It makes a bit of a mockery when it says some of the names in this article have been changed, doesn't it? Oh great so anyone who have no idea who these children are still don;t know (fine and good) but anyone who even has a passing familiarity with the family now know exactly how their step mother feels about them.

Selfish self-seeking writer just wanted a career boost in my view, if not she would have done it truly anonymously with no photo.