Erm... even for the DM this is, well... vibrator up bottom?

[OurBlanche]

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3824801/Mother-one-24-forced-undergo-surgery-remove-seven-inch-pink-sex-toy-boyfriend-got-stuck-BOTTOM.html?ito=social-facebook

Trainee teacher.... boyfriend shoves vibrator up her arse... forgets where he left it... she has operation and apparently; ^Lee's not been scarred by it - he just thinks it's funny. I think he should have one up his bum and take one for the team.'

Please tell me I am dreaming!

Well, I wouldn't like to be her the next time she waddles walks into a classroom.

I totally respect her candour. With that kind of courage I reckon she'll brazen it out.

It happened to me and my partner once...

WTAF?

Well I hope she's ok
I hope she isn't upset or embarrassed at the publicity
Anyway DM is becoming a porn mag

Wtaf? 😕

I would expect the NCTL to be looking at her conduct too!

'Would you like this woman to teach your child?'

Well, I wouldn't like her to teach anyone how to use a vibe, as her skills in that department clearly need work.

I reckon she's probably ok with phonics though.

Haha! OOh I didn't realise there was a vibrator up my arse while we were looking round the bedroom for it and when we saw where it was we got some barbecue tongs and a fork. Absolute bollocks.

That article is actually quite useful, if you can get past the moral outrage.

I had absolutely no idea that could happen. How horrific.

Barbecue tongs?

she must have an arse like a windsock

WHAT??? How could you not know it was still up there? Wtf? WTF?

Yvaine arse like a wind sock

A nurse friend told me they once had a guy of about 50 come in by ambulance with a king Edward potato up his backside. To get it out, him and his partner had tried using a corkscrew...

smEGG did he also have a chip on his shoulder?

I expect they were mashed when they did that

That's what he gets for behaving croquettishly.

Hope he wasn't too chippy with the paramedics

Sounds like he'd been involved in a Dangerous Lyonnaise.

Hope he didn't get too much hassleback at work for it...

I imagine he got quite a roasting.

Must of been wedged right up.

I saw that article this morning.

The barbecue tong bit made me feel quite faint.

Good grief! Is Tardis Arse and actual medical condition now?

Ah potato puns, they're so a-peeling.

I can't think of any more, so I'll jacket in.