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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Single parenet benefits proposed to end when youngest child is 11 rahter than 16

725 replies

uwila · 30/01/2007 09:56

Oh this will be popular round here.

here

OP posts:
nutcracker · 02/02/2007 19:22

You know what, I didn't ask to be a single mum, didn't want to and don't want to be one. I planned to stay at home with my kids until all of them started school and then I was going to get an evening job because personally I don't want my kids going to before and/or after school clubs or childminders or whatever. I am there mum, I want to be the one that is there when they get home from school even when they are teenagers. That was my plan.

My plan went tits up, I am now a single mum so what now I am not allowed to have that choice to be the kind of mum I want to be for my kids ?????
I have to put my kids into childcare just because other people want me to ??

Like I said I will get a job or get further training but I know that I will regret not being there for my kids in the way I wanted to.

Caligula · 02/02/2007 19:22

The proposal is not to end benefits, because even in these rabid times our government is still humane enough to recognise that people who find themselves practically unable to work, should not be left to starve. The proposal is to stop single mothers from being automatically entitled to income support, so therefore to force them to sign on every 2 weeks for JSA.

In other words, because most single mothers on benefits are on them because they really can't in the RW find a job which is practical for them to do (a large percentage of lone mothers still end up having to give up jobs they do get after a few weeks / months because of absence due to children's sickness/ lack of childcare), they will simply be claiming JSA instead of IS.

So no money will be saved for all you resentful taxpayers.

In fact, it may have a counter-productive effect. ATM because you are entitled to IS, you can take the risk of getting a job which looks like it might not work out, as if it doesn't you can always go back on IS. If you know that might have to jump through JSA hoops, you may not take the risk at all and stick to the devil you know.

The point is, if this proposal goes through, it won't save the country any money and it won't give lone parents a better incentive to find work. Only realistic working options will do that. If any of you don't believe me, let's come back to this thread in ten years time if this proposal goes through, and see if it's made any difference to the figures, shall we?

nutcracker · 02/02/2007 19:24

ROFL Brandy, thankyou

EllieKwithabigbump · 02/02/2007 19:24

don't get me wrong, there are lots of circumstances where there are very valid reasons for parents not to work, be they single or married, and i don't believe any parent of a child under 11 should be forced to work, we should all have the opportunity to be there for our children. but being a single parent is no excuse on it's own

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 02/02/2007 19:27

Mozhe what about school holidays? Shifts? Weekend work? Not everyone can find work 9-5.

Caligula · 02/02/2007 19:27

Oh yes being a single parent is exactly the same as being in a couple.

I really don't know why I keep posting on this thread, it has a sort of gruesome fascination... Surely there must be something better to do. Oh good, it's nearly Corrie time.

brandy7 · 02/02/2007 19:28

i know what the answer is!

When the kids reach the age of 11, we ask their dads,many of them absent or crap anyway, to take them off our hands so we can go to work!

mozhe · 02/02/2007 19:29

that is really great Ellie ! You are actually doing yourself a favour too in relation to your narcolepsy...it is much better to be active, mentally and physically, with a condition like that.Wish the social workers I used to work with could hear your story...it IS inspiring.
nutcracker....yours is a lifestyle choice, not to work, which is fine if you can afford it but I don't think it's fine if someone else has to pay for it.Don't you think your kids would benefit from the example of a working parent ???? Or don't you think they should work, if they don't want to....

brandy7 · 02/02/2007 19:32

mozhe, be nice to nutty please,shes been job hunting, coping with her ex pissing off and leaving her with 3kids, who need their mum at this difficult time. also shes just stated, and i have to agree, that she wishes to be there when the kids get home from school.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 02/02/2007 19:33

Nutty - I wouldn't mind my tax paying for you to stay at home - if I paid any!

brandy7 · 02/02/2007 19:33

do you know what ive just reread your message mozhe and its actually bloody nasty, im bowing out now. you obviously dont know nutcracker or what shes being going through and i hope for your sake you havent made her feel even lower than shes been feeling lately

nutcracker · 02/02/2007 19:36

How the fuck is it a lifestyle choice ????????? I just said I didn't choose to be a single mum, so where does choice come into it.

The only reason I am friggin job hunting is to get bigoted people like you off my frigging back.

tiredemma · 02/02/2007 19:36

PMSL at mozhe.

Nuttys life = LIFESTYLE CHOICE??

Have you actually read any of her threads?
If you had, you would see that she is worlds apart from the single mums you are trying to catagorise her into.

She WANTS to work, but has NO SUPPORT.

She cant just pop out to the 'Husband shop' that Xenia thinks exists and find support.

For goodness sake, If being a single mum was so simple- we would all be choosing to do it.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 02/02/2007 19:38

lol at husband shop!

Husbands R Us!

mozhe · 02/02/2007 19:38

i'm sorry nutcracker is having a difficul time.....but maybe in the light of all this it would be an even better idea for her to work ? She would then have a different environment to be in, that always helps, not to mention the ££s.I wish you luck in your job search. People in difficult situations,( like Ellie ? ), can and do benefit from work, so good luck.

nutcracker · 02/02/2007 19:38

Aww thankyou saggermakersbottomknocker

I was only thinking the other day you know how my life will now never ever be how I wanted it to and I feel like someone has gone and ripped part of me out and is now deciding my life for me and I get no say.

nutcracker · 02/02/2007 19:41

Am I typing in a foreign language or what.

I AM looking for a job, have applied for 3 recently, have sat and had lengthy disscusions with my mum about her helping me out with the kids but at the end of the day if no one gives me a bloody job then I can't do sod all about it can I.

EllieKwithabigbump · 02/02/2007 19:44

nutcracker, i know how you feel, i didn't choose to be on my own with ds1 and i certainly never planned to be expecting ds2 very soon and on my own yet again, but i really find it helps me to get out and be in a work environment. it's the only thing that's got me through my split, and my latest dp deciding he didn't want me with 2 kids only this week.
at the end of the day you should totally do what is right for you and your children, they are the most important thing right now x

nutcracker · 02/02/2007 19:48

Oh I do agree ellie that working would probably make me feel better but at the moment I am just not prepared to mess the kids about for it.

Ds is still at nursery and the nursery is full. I am not prepared to change nurseries as he starts school in Sept and I think the upheaval is too much considering his parents have recently split.

Hopefully one day it will all fall into place and I will be able to get a job that fits in with me and the kids.

EllieKwithabigbump · 02/02/2007 19:53

you should def. wait til september before doing anything i'm very lucky to have an amazing nursery which makes up for no family support, but i would never change ds just so i could work, that's just not fair. now i have to work out what to do when MAT leave finishes until ds starts school 6 months later, will prob go back to temping which is what i do now.

brandy7 · 02/02/2007 19:56

i used to do temping ellie and loved it! never thought of going back to doing it now for those weeks when the agency doesnt have any work though?how does that work out?

im talking 20 years ago when i did it and the money was very good then, over £200 a week full time doing typing mainly

brandy7 · 02/02/2007 19:56

oh and school hols, what do you do with the kids?

im part time in a school at the moment,but dont want to stay there forever but temping doesnt hold much job security does it

EllieKwithabigbump · 02/02/2007 20:06

it doesn't no, and was never a long-term solution. had to leave last job as it didn't fit in with ds and wasn't gonna compromise his care just to work, registered with an agency and they had a MAT leave cover post come up, so i got 6 months guaranteed and the offer of job share when she returned! i admit, i was very lucky and as my ds is not at school yet i didn't need to worry, now he's at pre-school i am extremely lucky as my placement let me do reduced hours in school hols. then i went and got bloody pregnant so will have to find a new job after my own MAT leave

EllieKwithabigbump · 02/02/2007 20:07

and no, it's not great pay! but better than a lot of jobs, plus i enjoy it

Jimjams2 · 02/02/2007 20:33

"Working is good for nearly everybody, even people with disabilities/illness.IMO the biggest abuse of the benefit system is within the disabilty/sickness benefits...don't even get me started on DLA. If you have a bad back/depression/asthma you CAN still do many jobs,( why do people always think if they can't drive a forklift truck then that's it...), and very likely your back/depression/asthma will improve..."

PMSL I'll tell ds1 that in 20 years time when aged 27 he can't speak, still needs someone to wipe his arse, and can't go out alone as he has no road sense. He's very good at flicking lights on and off. There must be a job for him somewhere.

Hello?? hello??? are we tuned into Reality FM?