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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Single parenet benefits proposed to end when youngest child is 11 rahter than 16

725 replies

uwila · 30/01/2007 09:56

Oh this will be popular round here.

here

OP posts:
uwila · 02/02/2007 15:47

Errr... Is it commen to have two jobs in the US?

Expat, you be nice to the mother land.

OP posts:
uwila · 02/02/2007 15:50

Actually, come to think of it, I was 11 when my mum went back to work. I am the youngest of four kids and was quite confortable with walking home sticking the key in the door, and letting myself in.

Except once...

I forgot my key and it was cold out (we lived in Chicago), so I broke the window that led to the basement workshop and crawled through the house avoid setting off the security alarm. I calimed I knew nothing and to this day my parents think someone broke in. Funny how they took nothing.

Although I think I was about 14 when this happened.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 02/02/2007 15:52

I never had two jobs in the US because a) that would have left me with less time to go rockclimbing, go out to restaurants and bars and cinemas, take spur of the moment weekend mini-breaks and shop b) you get well-hammered for taxes on that! Better to work overtime at your normal job if they pay it.

nutcracker · 02/02/2007 15:52

'Alot of single mothers work nights'

Right, and who looks after their kids ??

FioFio · 02/02/2007 15:54

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expatinscotland · 02/02/2007 15:55

My mum is Xenia's nightmare: a stay at home mum!

I have to say, too, I'd swap my life for hers any day.

She's happy, vivacious, has loads of friends and is talented, creative and terrific company.

If either of my daughters could live the happy life she has and does, I'd feel blessed.

uwila · 02/02/2007 15:56

Oh Expat, so that's what happened to you. It's all clear now....

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 02/02/2007 15:56

Yes, I wonder that as well.

Hmm, my mother never worked outside the home after she had her first.

She was never 'loafing' around, though, even when we were 11+.

How insulting.

Oh, wait, she was a 'kept' woman, though. A glorified prostitute.

expatinscotland · 02/02/2007 15:57

, uwila.

FioFio · 02/02/2007 15:58

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Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 02/02/2007 16:07

Fio - get off here and get working longer and harder!

Those single parents working nights must be leaving their children home alone. Oh but it's OK, they're working so they must be good parents!

Judy1234 · 02/02/2007 16:47

You will all see what transpires but I don't see a trend for allowing those claiming state benefits to have no obligation to work when the children are 11. I see the opposite. I suppose you should be lobbying against it if that is your view. DOn't we appreciate more the things we work for so if we pay for a service or work for a benefit then we see the avlue more than assuming things fall in our lap like manna from heaven (i.e. falling from the pockets of hard pressed middleclass working parents).

FioFio · 02/02/2007 16:51

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megandsoph · 02/02/2007 16:57

My mother is a pace and remand foster carer. She cares for children between the age of 12 and 18 who are waiting for sentences to be given from the courts and also children who have committed offences. Rather than have them locked in a cell over night they stay with my parents and then leave for court the following day. Did you know that at least 80% of the children who stay with her are from single parent families with a loving hardworking mother. For example the 15 year old currently with her has an asbo, his mother is a police officer. Some of these childrens mothers have been teachers, nurses & doctors. Like I said The majority of children she has cared for in the past 5 years, these are the sort of families they come from not the stereotypical, drunk, layabout, drugged up, canny be arsed to work parent society have been made to belive.

Never usually get involved in these threads but just this thing Xenia keeps suggesting the "underclass" breeds more underclass is a load of bollocks to be frank.

Oh and due to being up the duff and no one entertaining the idea of giving me an employed job (self employed last 3 years, business non exsitant), as of the the 24th of Jan I had to go on benefits whoopy!!!!

Right thats me off

Judy1234 · 02/02/2007 17:02

FF, it sounds like you're doing exactly what you should to improve your life. No one would call you scum.

But in some parts of the country there are families and whole estates where people have not worked for generations. Now that may just e the North East which I know but that would surprise me.

hunkeydorey · 02/02/2007 17:06

All this talk of breeding is making me shudder as well. Makes us sound like a pack of dogs, but presumably that's the intention.

nutcracker · 02/02/2007 17:11

Some of the opinions on here are disgusting and so bloody judgemental.

No wonder I, as a single mum have such a high opinion of myself and what I can achieve.

tiredemma · 02/02/2007 17:11

my parents were ( and still are) two of the most hardworking people you could ever come across, I vividly remember many Christmas mornings, sat in the back of the car - with my dad taking my mom into work at a care home. My dad worked many, many hours as a train driver. We lived in a council house on a rough council estate, never once did my parents use the excuse that being 'lower working class' ( what a fucking awful tag to have), should go hand in hand with claiming benefits and living off the 'hardworking middle class' ( who of course are keeping this country together )

Im a full time student, work part time and my children get what they are given through sheer hard work and my desire to teach them that if you want something in life- you have to go out and work for it.

However- I can do this because I have a supportive partner who looks after our children when its not possible for me to be at home.
This is something that not all families have, if I was a single mother - who could I rely on to look after my children??

These single mothers who are tagged with the lable of 'work shy spongers' etc - how do you know that they dont want to work? How is it possible to lead a fairly normal life with NO support?
what about people who cannot, through ill health, work? Are we assuming that all people on DLA are doing it because they want to claim benefits and not work? All of them?
Its easy to judge people when you have no idea about their lives, I know a few people who are too unwell to work, they are severly depressed at the thought of having to claim benefits, they want to work.

Dont even really know what point im trying to make, apart from, it pisses me off when those socially excluded get shat upon from a great height. Its hard to get out of poverty and social deprivation when its the only thing you know.

tiredemma · 02/02/2007 17:14

Xenia- those areas that you talk about- many of them are mining villages where generation after generation are out of work through Maggie and Co shutting coal mines down. Not because the whole area thought - 'lets not go to work eh?'

Theres NO jobs in specific areas of the country.

Caligula · 02/02/2007 17:18

D'you know, there's a lot of research that says that Bangladeshi children have worse outcomes in terms of jobs, housing, education etc. than other kids in the UK.

Should we stop people from a Bangladeshi background reproducing? After all, the evidence is pretty conclusive - the kids don't do well.

And if that idea is considered racist and beyond the pale (which IMO it is), why is it morally more appalling than the idea of stopping individuals reproducing because of what socio-economic group they belong to?

FGS.

megandsoph · 02/02/2007 17:22

If you go on Jobcentre plus site now and look for jobs in my surrounding areas. Almost every job you come across is "must be available days, night and weekends" If you are a single parent with no family near by how the hell are you supposed to do those jobs?? Bloody ridiculous

Judy1234 · 02/02/2007 18:00

meg, you could share with another single mother and when she's working you have her children and vice versa in a sort of co-operative perhaps. Or find a husband to support you or live with family members, sisters and brothers.

On Bangladeshis I don't know what the problem is. I live in a borough which is 187% hindu and I would estimate they do much better at school than the local white and work harder and tend more often than not to get the doctor/lawyer jobs. Bangladesh is one of the poorest nations on the planet so I suppose that's not the best start. It may change. Generally immigrants do better than those who are born here because they are forging a new life in a foreign land so I am sure in due course they will make their mark here.

tiredemma · 02/02/2007 18:10

"find a husband to support you"

????????????????

are you for real?

nutcracker · 02/02/2007 18:22

ROFL, Xenia you are nuts.

So I could just click my fingers a find a husband to support me then.......shit why didn't I think of that.

Single mums aren't the most attractive prospect to most single blokes you know, never mind the fact that single mums on benefits don't have the money to go out partying and looking for new blokes.

As for living with family, I have 3 kids. My mum lives in a 1 bed flat and my dad any brothers all live in a 3 bed house.
So because I am single mum I should give up my house, move in with my family, be over crowded and everything else just so that I have a wider range of job options.

Sorry but you are living in la la land.

megandsoph · 02/02/2007 18:39

PMSL @ "Or find a husband to support you" I used to have one of those sure as hell didn't support me.

Do you know what the lone parent adviser said last week when I had my IS interview? When I asked her if she could help me seek out a job so I wouldn't have to go on benefits
" Clare you said it before but it's highly unlikely you will get a job now in your condition" grand huh?

I will be going to get an education once the baby is 3 months. Never needed quals to join the army which is what I did when I left school. Gutted now though.

Who ever said it earlier on this thread regarding education being the key. I completley (sp?) agree.

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