I'm Jack Monroe. Ask me anything.

[MxJackMonroe]

Hi Mumsnet.

It seems every time I am in the news, a MN thread about all things transgender crops up. I didn't see the last one (yesterday?) as I don't come on here very often these days - people who eavesdrop etc etc. I was cooking in a tent in a muddy field all day, having a ball, not googling myself on the internet!

The thread was deleted - which was nothing to do with me, nor my lawyer. The day I call him about a MN thread is the day I pack everything in for good. So far only the Mail and Hopkins have had legal action taken against them, and both for quite serious statements. I'm not rich enough nor quite bothered enough to call him every time someone says mean words on the internets.

ANYWAY. Threads about me tend to get deleted. So here's a new one. Because there are clearly some questions that keep coming up, criticisms that I could answer, speculation I could clarify and untruths that could do with correction.

So I'm taking questions. I'm an adult and I take an awful lot of criticism and unkindness online, on the chin. I am pretty mentally stable right now, and feel this could be a constructive discussion.

In order to stop this descending into pandemonium, using general 'chair' rules, to start with I'll take one question from each user - if it's quiet and everything gets answered, feel free to add follow up questions.

It doesn't have to be about boobs, dresses, hormones. Literally ask me anything.

MN - please don't delete this thread. I think people have valid things to say and I'm here with my big girl/boy pants on to hear them.

Over to you.

Constructive comments are one thing but downright nastiness says far more about the poster than the person they are attacking.

Sorry, I do not know who you are and I did not see the original thread but I like the way you responded to it.

As a working class recipient of a Grammar School education, do you feel the State should continue to fund Grammar schools given that nowadays working class pupils are at a disadvantage in the 11+ system because State Primaries are not permitted to prepare for the 11+ whereas middle class parents often send children to Private primaries which do prepare them, or pay for tutors, which has resulted in Grammar schools mostly being filled with middle class children?

I would say, for the vast majority of women, their biology doesn't "match their brain". The limited structure of femininity is far more closed now than it was when I was a child in the late 60s/70s, and I don't see how the whole"non-binary" thing helps that, surely it just re-enforces fixed gender norms? It needs the rest of us to be "binary" or it becomes pointless. I know very few women who felt comfortable in their female skins as teens and young women, due to the abuse that they got from men as soon as they hit puberty. It takes getting to your 60s to really feel comfortable, as far as I can tell from my older female friends. I see how discussing the discomfort we can feel in our adult bodies as women, ( and at the roles prescribed for us), is helpful. I think those feelings are the norm. I don't see how medicalising this and turning it into a label/ status that alienates young women and girls, is remotely helpful?
I did post on the thread about you last night by the way, but in ref to a poster who was harping on about women's "Cis Privilege " over trans people, rather than directly about you or anything you had said in the Observer article.

In your most recent interview, you make reference to being attracted to 'very masculine men' and your 'lesbianism'. In what way are you a lesbian when a lesbian is a woman who is attracted exclusively to women and you're neither a woman nor exclusively attracted to women?

On the other thread lots of people were saying that children who like to play with certain toys were being labeled transgender, rather than parents just accepting that genialia shouldn't determine the clothes children wear or the colour of Lego they play with. Some people see transgender activism as playing into the hands of those who want to maintain stereotypes of male and female genders. I've heard people express fears that young butch lesbians are an endangered breed, for example, because theyre being pushed to consider their mode of dress as the first step towards transitioning(by a cosmetic surgery industry with much to gain) whereas years ago it was more accepted that you could could be happy as a woman yet wear "male" clothing. I suppose my question centres around your comment that your non-binary status is due to you not wanting to be seen as male or female, but "as a person". How can we, as a society, get to a place where people can simply be who they are, without gender constraints in a way that doesn't necessarily require them to undergo painful, dangerous surgery? Can we destroy the chains of gender without destroying our genitalia and secondary sexual characteristics?

I think the 'What is a woman?' question is the most important.

I would be extremely interested to see your definition.

Whatever you are taking right now, it seems to be doing wonders, you're looking smoking hot (to this particular straight woman).

And that's without your revolutionising the chick pea. Do you veer towards the pound a tin Biona these days? Now I've tasted them, supermarket value can go swivel

Did you want to be a spokesperson or do you feel that you did a few interviews and that it has blown out of proportion?
Do you wish you had never said anything?

I am not going to lie, I don't understand non binary. I don't wan't it explaining to me either.

A person is is a person, that's it for me.

Do you honestly believe that you have 'pioneered past' Germaine Greer?

JayKJayK: In your most recent interview, you make reference to being attracted to 'very masculine men' and your 'lesbianism'. In what way are you a lesbian when a lesbian is a woman who is attracted exclusively to women and you're neither a woman nor exclusively attracted to women?

The masculine men comment was a flippant one in response to a longer conversation about political crushes, which was cut. I had talked at length about my admiration for a certain man, but not in a sexual way, and that was a throwback comment.

I am not a 'gold star' lesbian, clearly, my son was the result of a brief fling with a male friend. However I have had relationships with women for the last decade and longer.

I have romantic relationships with women. Polyamorous nonbinary bisexual queer is a bit of a mouthful and christ, lesbian just fits better.

I know plenty of lesbians who fuck occasional men, plenty of straight men who indulge in what they call 'brojobs' and plenty of straight women who snog their girl mates. Self identification is exactly that. I am in a more fluid place with my sexuality than I previously was, I wouldn't rule out a long term relationship with a man as I fall for people based on their minds rather than their bodies, but right now, the lesbian shirt fits.

Plenty

That was a flippant remark on my part but she was a pioneer in her day, with theories that we were all so much more than our biology, and now seeks to contradict her own views by reducing trans people to...their biology.

Bisexual seems a lot more succinct and accurate. Perhaps a little too dull though.

Kudos for starting this off your own back Jack. I'm really interested in hearing you talk on the subject.

I can't wait for the day when we look back at all this labelling nonsense with bemused horror.

The day when people can wear what they like, fuck who they like and do what they like without having to name it so it fits into a nice box.

It's exhausting.

FloraFox: Bisexual seems a lot more succinct and accurate. Perhaps a little too dull though.

It doesn't fit though. Not right now. I fall in love with women. Set up home with them. Get joint bank accounts. Make love all weekend. I get off with the odd bloke every now and then. There is a lot of evidence that testosterone has a slightly loopy effect on libido and trans men often report being strongly attracted to men when they start taking it.

WibblyWobblyJellyHead: I can't wait for the day when we look back at all this labelling nonsense with bemused horror. The day when people can wear what they like, fuck who they like and do what they like without having to name it so it fits into a nice box. It's exhausting.

Me too.

You can even go for "pansexual" which avoids assuming a gender binary, Flora.

I'm sure GG still believes we are so much more than our biology. The trouble is, if you take biology out of the equation, how do you name or comprehend the types of oppression that women and girls face? How do you even name the group of people those oppressions happen to?

Clearly I need to wait patiently with the others for the answer to 'what is a woman?'

justdontevenfuckingstart
Did you want to be a spokesperson or do you feel that you did a few interviews and that it has blown out of proportion?
Do you wish you had never said anything?

I never wanted to be a spokesperson nor do I think I am. But I am not naive and I knew that I couldn't just not say anything. I didn't expect my being transgender to become apparently more interesting than my anti poverty work, politics, food bank research, journalism. I never realised my boobs were the most interesting thing about me. Sigh.

That said, I am glad I spoke about it. I have had literally hundreds if not thousands of letters thanking me for doing so, from trans teens, their parents, friends, many different people. So I wouldn't go back in the closet for anything.

I know plenty of lesbians who fuck occasional men, plenty of straight men who indulge in what they call 'brojobs' and plenty of straight women who snog their girl mates.

But those are very different things, surely?

I am aware that, in some situations, people claim to be straight and are actually attracted to the same sex, but are unable to say so, and that's hard. But there is quite some pressure on women to identify as 'fluid', and to perform femininity by snogging female mates. That's not about sexuality. If you are a straight woman and you are faking sexual behaviour, that is something we shouldn't normalise.

Saying that biology exists is not the same as thinking that people are nothing more than biology. Biology exists.

plenty

I am poking answers out on my phone as I have no signal on my tablet thing on the train. What Is A Woman is not a simple question and will take more than my index finger to answer it. I didn't realise there was a time constraint but try not to be pissy. I came here off my own back, put myself in the firing line, a little patience would be appreciated.

Mx - have you come across the term homo-romantic?

What is bisexual then, if not what you have described right there?

Why I wonder is society trying to label things to the nth degree? Why so specific?

Robin

I'm not sure I've ever snogged anyone for a performance. It's generally a private, intimate moment between two people. And if I don't want to kiss someone, I don't. I find kissing far more intimate than fucking, but that's just me.