I'm Jack Monroe. Ask me anything.

[MxJackMonroe]

Hi Mumsnet.

It seems every time I am in the news, a MN thread about all things transgender crops up. I didn't see the last one (yesterday?) as I don't come on here very often these days - people who eavesdrop etc etc. I was cooking in a tent in a muddy field all day, having a ball, not googling myself on the internet!

The thread was deleted - which was nothing to do with me, nor my lawyer. The day I call him about a MN thread is the day I pack everything in for good. So far only the Mail and Hopkins have had legal action taken against them, and both for quite serious statements. I'm not rich enough nor quite bothered enough to call him every time someone says mean words on the internets.

ANYWAY. Threads about me tend to get deleted. So here's a new one. Because there are clearly some questions that keep coming up, criticisms that I could answer, speculation I could clarify and untruths that could do with correction.

So I'm taking questions. I'm an adult and I take an awful lot of criticism and unkindness online, on the chin. I am pretty mentally stable right now, and feel this could be a constructive discussion.

In order to stop this descending into pandemonium, using general 'chair' rules, to start with I'll take one question from each user - if it's quiet and everything gets answered, feel free to add follow up questions.

It doesn't have to be about boobs, dresses, hormones. Literally ask me anything.

MN - please don't delete this thread. I think people have valid things to say and I'm here with my big girl/boy pants on to hear them.

Over to you.

Jack, I would like to congratulate you on your takedown of Katie Hopkins

My thoughts on trans issues do not gel with some of yours, but I admire your articulacy and your refusal to STFU in the face of often extreme provocation

JayKJayK: I might've missed this being asked but on the subject of drag, I'm interested in the photos used with the recent interview. Did you choose to be very stereotypically masculine and very stereotypically feminine or did they push for it? Do you always dress like that? If not, why go for looks that so strongly reinforce the binary rather than one photo in jeans and a shirt or similar?

I directed the shoot. It was a deliberate expression of femininity and masculinity as I feel I occupy 'the space between' day to day, but it was about the part in the interview where I talked about my struggle with formalwear. I have been uninvited to family weddings for asking if I can wear a tux, ffs. It was about putting that to bed and demonstrating both ends of my own spectrum. My instagram is full of pictures of me in jeans. (The formal pic is actually jeans too, which is my usual style. I don't own a full suit and usually wear my leathers to formal occasions with two fingers firmly up at dress codes...)

Why do people pick labels like non binary or trans instead of just being diverse and not gender stereotypical?

I get that some feel they have been born in the wrong body, and there's an element of body dismorphia/mental illness with that. But for those that don't have a mental illness? What's wrong with a camp boy that likes pink and a butch girl that plays football? Isn't it just their personality?

I've seen this question asked a lot (more eloquently that I have just asked it) but not answered. If I've missed the answer, can someone point it out? Am genuinely interested for personal reasons.

I can't claim to know much about any of this (but I do like your cookbook and your hair MxJack :)) but it seems to be becoming quite an issue and I'd like to find out more so will be reading the rest of the thread with interest.

Hello
I'm not trans but I don't feel like a 'woman' except for the fact my body tells me it is. The only things that make me a woman are my breasts, periods, pregnancy etc- my physical body. In my mind I'm just a person. So how is it that a male can feel like they are a woman if I don't even feel like a woman?
Also do you have any empathy for women who feel they don't want physically male people in private areas like prisons, shelters etc? The stats on sexual assault of women are so high and bring trans doesn't make a male less likely to be violent. Do you understand at all why we care about this issue or do you just think we are transphobic?

My question is the same as yours fuck off! I'm really interested in the answer as it feels all too much like you don't want to be in a box...While actually putting yourself in a box

So because you don't want your son in a bathroom with all men you do see that men are the threat here?
What makes transwomen who are still physically male any different?

BettyDraper1: Hi Jack, I know that this isn't the type of question you are looking for, but what is your new tattoo about (the one on top of your arm). I was trying to make it out from the observer pictures yesterday but it was cropped so I could only see half of it. It reminded me of Hokusai's 'The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife', from what I could see. Anyway, it really suits you.

It is based on a sketch that a friend sent me a while ago, I don't have the original to hand. It is one of my most personal and I had it done after my breakdown and moving from London back to Southend. I had felt in the throes of something atrociously destructive for some time and this image was a powerful representation of that, and the vulnerability. It is in an old mirror frame as something I can reflect on. It's one of my favourites but the tattoo artist was such an asshole I didn't let him finish it, so it needs more work.

I fail to see how this is not damaging to women.

I'm in my 40's, well past feeling forced by peer or media pressure to do pretty much anything, but it terrifies me that young people are feeling so much pressure to naval gaze re their sexuality & definng it, and changing their bodies. Children.

Woman/female - person with a vagina
Man/male - person with a penis

Trans - person truly feeling that the body they were born into was the 'wrong one' and living their life (with or without surgery) that makes them feel they are living their truth.

Heterosexual
Homosexual
Bi sexual

Covers the necessary bases, surely.

I don't understand the need to keep breaking that down, tiny bit by tiny bit.

IMO all of this just ADDS to the difficulty of women being who they are and not some princess stereotype of a 'woman'. It's beginning to feel that if I'm not poncing about in a dress/heels/makeup I'm not 'a woman' and should identify in some other way.

I don't give a toss what anyone defines themselves as, but I sure as hell care about teenagers having all of this stuff thrust at them.

Is not wanting to be called cis transphobic in your view?

ethelb: Is not wanting to be called cis transphobic in your view?

Not as far as I can see. I don't think anyone has the right to assign a label to someone who doesn't want it.

poster itsbetterthanabox Mon 25-Jul-16 18:12:22

We can't be safe any were

Expect to share jails with men who claim there womenmore likely because women's jails are seen as a easier
We will be pushed out of sport and can't now even go to the fucking loo with out men being able to claim that space

What space do women now have with Somone with a fucking penis being able to claim that space

I am curious.

You say upthread that you are only speaking for yourself, you don't want to influence anyone. You have been in the public eye long enough for this to be an odd statement to make.

You are a public figure. A celebrity. Like it or not, once you are in the public eye you have influence. You become a role model. You can no longer just speak for yourself.

But you know that, don't you. In your Guardian interview, you say: "I look at letters from all these people who are picking themselves up from broken situations, from the parents of trans teenagers who tell me that I’ve helped them understand their kids, and I feel duty bound to continue with what I do.”

Kudos to you for doing this Jack.

I was wondering, if you had your time again would you step into the limelight? You have so much abuse directed at you and it can't be easy.

it was about the part in the interview where I talked about my struggle with formalwear.

Sorry but that sounds so up yourself.

As the parent of teenagers I welcome people like Jack who challenge stereotypes, and our culture's views on what determines 'male' 'female' roles, looks, etc. I don't begin to pretend to understand much of the language around it, but try. We owe it to the next generation to not completely fuck things/them up (anymore than we already have anyway.) How do we know what our kids want to present as? We should help them explore that, and that means not condemning options.

As I said on the thread about Jack that was deleted, it's almost like Ziggy Stardust never happened.

My struggle with formalwear
#first world issues 😁

*it was about the part in the interview where I talked about my struggle with formalwear.

Sorry but that sounds so up yourself.*

Sorry but you sound like an arse.

Yes, tigers, but I don't presume to tell anyone else how to live or identify. I have deliberately never told anyone that they are or aren't transgender, because it isn't my place to do so.

Hi Jack. My question is "is Rachel Dolzeal black? If not, why not since identity trumps biology?"

Happy to be an arse, then.

pleasemothermay1: My struggle with formalwear #first world issues 😁

Well it's hardly everyday, but I do have a bloody large family who have a lot of sodding weddings.

I don't understand why people are attacking Jack for saying she struggles with formalwear. I fucking hate it myself and go out of my way to try and avoid it. I am a 6' straight woman who hates feeling like I have to look like something out of woman at C&A.

I have been uninvited to family weddings for asking if I can wear a tux, ffs

Very sad that you know people who're like that but aside from 'I'm not going to match the bridesmaids, am I?', I've never known anybody ask for permission to wear something to a wedding. I just turn up in trousers, shirt, tie and blazer or jumper depending on the level of formality and I've never been kicked out or disowned.

Black Trousers and a nice cami done covers most occasions

Black cami for funerals
Cream for christnings

And may be baby pink or blue for a wedding

Hair done and some Vaseline on the lips done makes a mountain out of a mole hill anyone