Xenia - I found an article which I thought you might find interesting!

[emkana]

I think she has a point, not sure if you agree

And therefore not many woman would be in the situation uwila described.

If only I could type!!! I meant to say I couldn't say a bad thing about her.

fairymum I agree. It is possible to have both and do both well but not when the work part of your life insists on taking over. The long hours culture has been alive and well in every company I've been in - mostly it consisted of making sure that you left 2 minutes after the boss did and getting to your desk just before he/she did in the morning . But it often meant going to the pub/golf course/squash court after work and kidding yourself that it was fun and your choice. I clearly remember one colleague (a man) who preferred the company of his wife and kids to that of his coworkers and he constantly had to justify his attitude to others - he was quite capable of standing up to the p*ss taking but someone less strong-willed might have caved in. I work part-time (school hours) and 2 days at home - if my kids are sick or there is some other child related emergency I can work more at home. Thankfully my manager is very understanding and sees that I give more to the business because I work flexibly but I've heard rumblings from more senior managers about it - the 'working from hammock' contingent - if you're not at your desk you're not working. Stupid and neanderthal attitudes but sadly still not uncommon.

I think 4 in 5 mothers of children under 5 in the UK work. It may be the same proportion of fathers although probably higher. Many of those however may work part time, depends on their mortgage commitments probably more than anything else I suspect. Some mothers see surviving the first 5 years at home as housewives they then need some reward of 5 more school age years with no job to get a rest and I can understand that.

On the divorce issue sadly even good family lawyers can't stop a man choosing to give up work to avoid paying money or as one man I know moving to Thailand and hiding his whereabouts from his ex wife etc etc. Of course if you have a house then that's harder to hide although even then some men manage to prove mother's unfitness and get the house and children although that is rare.

I also meant to add that even if you do work very hard you can have other interests too. It's hard when the children are under 5 but when they get older even people in very long hours jobs usually manage to have hobbies. I certainly do.

This article definitely strikes a chord with me. Work? - 'No!' [shudder]

Really, Xenia, you have hobbies?

I remember when I had hobbies. Oh those were the days.....

Is sleep considered a hobby?

I remember when I successfully lived w/o a pesky job for years!

It was the best time of my life.

Depends on the chidlren's ages, doesn't it? I took them skiing before Christmas so that's a hobby isn't it? I was going to bikram yoga later today until I heard my son was going out so can't babysit. I bought my island last year which is a nice hobby to have and think about. I am ostensibly in a choir but hard to find time at the moment. I didn't go last week. Internet posting is presumably a hobby.... I had an allotment for a year but had to give it up.

In fact you often find successful people in the City have the most interesting hobbies because all that energy and enthusiasm kind of permeates through their lives in general. I like to read too. I'm on a non work committee locally.

Maybe that's the problem expat? All those years of unemployment have not prepared you well for the inevitable????

There's no Bikram yoga in Edinburgh.

.

I miss it!

I started doing it in 1996 but had to stop when I moved here.

It is EXCELLENT for the back and knees.

Nah, uwila, just made me realise that gainful employment is a farce.

Well, my older one is 3 1/2 so I think skiing is out for a while.

Oh, but speaking of travel, Xenia, have you been to Romania? You mentioned it on another thread a few days ago.

So three out of the six "hobbies" are problematical because of lack of time or childcare - your allotment, your yoga, the choir. And I doubt you can really call owning an island a hobby - it's a possession, not a hobby. And skiing doesn't really count as a hobby unless you are doing it frequently - an annual skiing holiday isn't a hobby, it's a holiday.

and they can fund their interesting hobbies...

Ah Geeny, but I bet Xenia can fund much more than an annual ski holiday. She might have her own plane (to go with the island).

Better ski now before it all dries up.

Can't remember the last time I paid to ski.

Bah.

Off-piste far better.

Backcountry even more.

Wouldn't want an island. Especially not if I had to . . . ewww. . . work a lot for it.

In the US in the 1980s there used to be this TV series about old-time gangsters - the name escapes me - but their punchline was brill, a play on the old Charles Schwab adverts, 'We earn money the old-fashioned way: we steal it.'

Mothers at home have trouble gteting to all their hobbies too. I don't have any more difficulties than they do but I do try to balance my life so I do work, children, hobbies and more importantly men.

You will be amused to hear I'm not going to bikram yoga today because my son is going out and I don't have a babysitter. I will just have to do the lotus position at my desk.

Actually someone should do better at spreading that - any mothers at home wanting more mnoey. It's not near my house but there'll be a market for it. It's not in Edinburgh it seems - someone not hapy about lack of money do something about that business idea. You need a licence if you're going to do it properly from the bikram yoga company/man.

I'm going skiing on 20th without the children this time but I agree skiing isn't the same as a hobby you do every day. I think I do quite well on the hobby front actually. I'm lucky to have a lot of interests.

Yes, and you have to go to California to train under Bikram for 10 weeks.

And pay for it.

Lots.

But it really is the bee's knees for bad joints.

I started it after my ACL reconstruction.

Well, once I was able to after my ACL recon.

It sorted all my joint issues in no time.

Back before I had children, I used to do it 3x/week and even do the Bikram challenge every spring.

No, no, I wasn't suggesting that. Just find people with the training and then you set up the centres in Edinburgh, Bath, near where I lives, etc all the obvious places, perhaps even roll it out to various health club chains like Esporta, David Lloyd.

By the way I'm the worst person there at it... it must be very amusing to watch.... but it makes me feel very good unlike a lot of other exercise. We had 10 men there on Saturday, about 20 women.

It'd be a hard sell, though, Xenia, b/c the studio has to be kept at the right heat and humidity.

It was cheap enough to go to in Denver - you could even get a membership pass to several ashrams - but I'll bet it costs a bomb here.