Rebecca Minnock - on the run with child after court battle

[BreakingDad77]

Is this one of those cases we wont get to the bottom of as to whether she is someone with MH problems or scheming father driving her to them?

It is very likely that the courts had good reason for this decision. In taking the law into her own hands like this and disappearing she hardly sounds a rational person. If a man did this he would be totally vilified, prosecuted and unlikely to see his child.

Potato,

Clearly, you are a decent person with empathy but believe me and how many times do you read on this site about controlling, emotionally and psychologically abusive people.

We are not wired like them and find it hard to understand their hurtful actions.

One fact about the court process is the it can take a long time, especially when dealing with an implacably hostile parent.

Many Fathers faced with this do in fact give up, and tragically some take their own lives.

I don't buy that she would still be trying to punish her ex after 2 years

Agree with DanaBarrett. 2 years is a SHORT time in many of these cases. The worst go on for 10 years, then the child is too old to be subject to court orders otherwise, I am sure they would go on for 20,30,40 - until one of the parents dies basically.

I am really not sure what some of you want. A Judge heard the evidence. From a variety of people. If she alleges he is a drug user and he's shaved his head - test his pubic hair or his leg hair. Do a mouth swab. Test his urine. Ask for police records, health records.

If someone is a drug user to the extent it impairs their parenting, I would be very very surprised if you can't prove it.

So that judge makes findings. Findings which stand as truth unless or until they are appealed. So you say - well, courts make mistakes. We will never know the whole truth.

Well, yes they do and probably we won't. But what is the alternative? That people are judged in the court of public opinion? The court of mumsnet?

For all its faults, I would far rather be judged by a court who heard the evidence from a variety of sources.

Ok seeing as I'm in that precise situation myself currently I'll give you that, although one single area where women have the edge does not make up for the gender pay gap, fewer women in government, fewer women on boards of directors, marginalization of woman's sport, spotty representation of female characterization in literature and film, catcalling and casual objectification, oh and rape and domestic violence.

I've probably missed some but then again I'm a man so it doesn't stick out as much to me.

Where would someone like that go if not in the UK?

She seems pretty clueless to me. She'll be back by Sunday.

the Authorities believed the child could be at risk of emotional harm in the future because his mother was repeatedly questioning him about about what had happened between him and his father

Hmm. My ex constantly questions my ds about that, and more directly about me - who I've been seeing, who has been at the house, what I've been doing. No-one has ever found that remotely interesting.

It depends what she is asking questions about.

If she is trying to build up a case for sexual abuse, that is very serious.

There are enough shit dads out there who are perfectly happy to walk away from their children.

If he is still pursuing this after two years then my initial reaction is that he's not some dead beat drug user. A dead beat would have run out of time, inclination and money years ago.

There is a chap in France, who offers help. He appeared in Panorama about low vitamin D and NAI, he has contacts that provide a home and employment.

I don't think contacting The Sun newspaper to give an interview will have done her any favours either.

Ian Josephs - a dangerous fool imo - offers money to get parents a ticket out of UK but I don't think he finds them a home or a job. I know of a few parents who have ended up much worse off after going to Ireland or Spain and ending up homeless.

Dervel,

Why you are bringing feminist issues to the thread I have no idea.

I don't believe this is the one area in western society where women have the edge and I also do not believe domestic abuse and gender portrayal in the media is solely a female issue either.

I believe in matters concerning family law, feminism has a fair bit to answer for.

Oh right dervel, so this "mother" is taking a stand for feminism is she? Or have I missed something.....

I don't think women do have 'the edge' these days when it comes to the courts deciding residence matters.

So often on these boards there are desperate posts from mothers who are trying to protect their children from abusive/neglectful/sadistic fathers and are being ignored.

I have a woman in my family who was physically abused by her partner, she once turned up at my house with a split lip terrified that he was following her. But that was irrelevant to the judge because he had never physically abused his children.

But accusing your ex of having a drug problem/being abusive means the child should be handed over to that person? Isn't that quite risky? I still remember an American case where a mother accused her ex of being abusive to the dc's but couldn't prove it, so the dc's were given to him. Weeks later he was making inappropriate comments about their 'figures' (they were three) on social media.

Surely it's safer to keep both parents involved instead of cutting out the parent with the concerns? I really do wonder about some of these judges. Actually, no I don't. I think we're all well aware that these days the last person you want making decisions about a small child's welfare is a judge...

Yes there are a lot of people with issues in positions of power and control. Yes there are some with agendas. I do think half of the problems are getting it wrong and human error.

The whole system needs a shake up and those in power ordering parents undergo a psychiatric assessment should be doing the same.

Apparently the step father said he would rather go to prison for ten years than tell the police where the child is. Let's hope he gets his wish.

It's isn't the case at all that a mother makes an abuse allegation and the father automatically gets residence! How ridiculous!

Mothers lose residence when they prove that they cannot. Out their child's interests before their own selfish agenda.

If a mother has a long history to false allegations and obstructing contact, she can expect to lose custody.

It should happen more, not less often, to send a clear signal that manipulating contact with a decent father (and the father doesn't have to be perfect) will lead to sanctions.

Stupid women.

Surely it's safer to keep both parents involved instead of cutting out the parent with the concerns?

Rebecca ran, she wasn't cut out. Had she engaged with the process, Ethan would probably have had a healthy positive relationship with both parents in a few years.
I'm unsure whether this is entirely driven by Rebecca or whether she is subject to influence from family members with their own agendas.

Clearly the wider family don't feel running was a bad idea.

Gatorade there is no proof that "all" the posts on MN from "desperate mothers trying to protect their children" are

a) true
b) right
c) not also written by women who can't see any point of view other than their own selfish agenda

I'm sure this mother could have written a heart wrenching account of her attempts to protect her child from a drug addled father. Doesn't make her right or it true.

Clearly the wider family seem 'delightful'.