Baby girl taken from mother to live with dad and his boyfriend

[Darcey2105]

I'm horrified!! Have you seen this story this morning?

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-32603514

A baby girl was taken from her mother and is now in sole custody of the dad and his boyfriend. The reason being that he said the baby was conceived to be their surrogate child. but she says he agreed to be her sperm donor so she could have the baby.

What is going on? Surely even if the mother had changed her mind about surrogacy she could still be allowed to keep her own baby. I am totally appalled. The men had a top female lawyer fighting their case. And it looks like it was a woman judge who ruled it was in the baby's best interest to live with the dad and his boyfriend - even though the baby was still breastfeding!!

how can there be so little support of mothers? Please tell me I hallucinated the whole awful story.

ArcheryAnnie

I specifically wrote "( what must have appeared to them ) a child-snatcher who had deceived them" - they were too classy to actually call her that, but she was showing all the signs of putting the baby, that they were expecting to parent, out of their reach both legally and physically which to me, in common parlance, = 'snatching'

If both parents have 'rights' to children (but it ought to be "if the child has rights to both parents") then any one of the parents taking the child out of the reach of the other parent is 'snatching' her.

It's not that hard to see - try changing the gender of the parents.

My premise of course is that of the law - parents are equal, carrying the baby/donating sperm notwithstanding. If you move from the idea that you can only snatch from the womb, then find another word for "removing from the love and affection of one of the parents, both legally and physically"

SOME kind of insight into the parenting of small children, from whatever source, would have been an improvement on whatever absence of knowledge it is that would lead a judge to make such utterly idiotic remarks about slings and BF timescales and work status.

What kind of family law system concludes with such drivel?

Are you seriously saying that all babies need mothers even if those mothers are abusive and put their own interests before those of their children's?

No, I'm not. You just invented that position and attributed it to me.

I'm saying good mothers are vital to babies.

The lack of a good mother is very damaging.

I have reason to know that an abusive mother is especially damaging, but the fact that the existence of a minority of abusive and not-good mothers is EVER used to demote the vital importance of mothers, strikes me as an awful, damaging mis-step.

What Boffin was saying upthread about the dangers of uncoupling reproduction from childrearing makes an awful sense.

Derek there's some kind of logical fallacy in that sentence.

Perhaps she wasn't spiteful and manipulative.

Perhaps she was panicky and hormonal and mistrustful because of HIS lies and U turns and litigousness.

Perhaps the awfulness of her previous relationship and custody battle are precisely what made her seek an amicable coparenting arrangement in which to have her last DC.

Perhaps the outcome broke her heart.

How can we know? We are working from a document that asserts that slings cause enmeshed relationships. It's unreliable.

Really struggling to see how a mother can be over invested in her baby's life. Shock horror, she co-sleeps, breadtfeeds and wears her baby.

Oh yeah just give a breastfed 15 month old a bottle. Ffs.

Wow... Think someone might be a bit over invested in this thread.

No, but a neonatal mother who gets dragged quick-smart into court by a wealthy father is, by definition, under a lot of pressure just when she is least equipped to withstand it. And he, again, by definition, is at a huge advantage.

You seem to be a projecting a good deal Derek

So cafcass would have been involved here...judges usually side with them.

Looks like this woman was well and truly 'outed' and used breastfeeding ( that's if the child was actually fed this way at all) as some sort of excuse

Hmm... Hiding thread as it appears to have been taken over by a poster who appears rather thick angry.

I thought you just told us about a case in your family involving 7 DC and were making a comparison yourself Derek?

26 on what basis would you doubt the breast feeding?

That would be a personal attack marooned. Nothing intelligent to say, I take it? Shame on you.

Poor baby in the middle of all this. Surrogacy needs to be more tightly controlled.

Derek take a breather.

This is not doing you any good.

I'm sorry you're upset. I remember you posting about your Dad. Some court case isn't important enough for this

I'll go through again more slowly Maryz

But as much as she could be a cynica, manipulative woman, she could also be ridden with stress-induced health anxiety.