Baby girl taken from mother to live with dad and his boyfriend

[Darcey2105]

I'm horrified!! Have you seen this story this morning?

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-32603514

A baby girl was taken from her mother and is now in sole custody of the dad and his boyfriend. The reason being that he said the baby was conceived to be their surrogate child. but she says he agreed to be her sperm donor so she could have the baby.

What is going on? Surely even if the mother had changed her mind about surrogacy she could still be allowed to keep her own baby. I am totally appalled. The men had a top female lawyer fighting their case. And it looks like it was a woman judge who ruled it was in the baby's best interest to live with the dad and his boyfriend - even though the baby was still breastfeding!!

how can there be so little support of mothers? Please tell me I hallucinated the whole awful story.

A baby has two parents.

Hopefully at some point the laws on surrogacy will be clarified. I'm sure I've heard that the surrogate has the right to change her mind even when biologically the child is not hers as the mother has used her own eggs. I think if you agree to be a surrogate you have no right to keep the child. Why would this gay couple choose to give her a baby, when clearly what they wanted was a child of their own?

She offered to be a surrogate to gay couple then decided herself to keep baby as she wanted one so effectively using the men as sperm donors. That's wrong, she used both men as she knew before conceiving that she wouldn't hand baby over

Read the details. It's much more complex.

suesspiciousminds.com/2015/05/05/breastfeeding-mother-versus-gay-couple/

Better still, read the judgement.

www.bailii.org/ew/cases/EWFC/HCJ/2015/36.html

Hmm ok - are you two men who are replying to my post?

have you actually had a baby? have you ever breastfed?

If the courts have decided that it's in the best interests of the child then that's what it comes down to. I'm not sure the sperm donor/surrogacy issue would matter.

Op calm down!.

The baby is with a parent.... The law has deemed the dad to be the most suitable one in this case. As for the breastfeeding comment, there are alternatives to breastfeeding!

Yes, I have breastfed x2 children. My own children who I rightly had as a joint decision between dh and myself. The women in the article basically used the couple deceitfully as a sperm doner knowing full well she would never hand baby over she had agreed to have for them. They paid her to have a baby for them, she agreed false fully to the terms and proceeded

I was shocked by the ruling, but then I read the judgment (lengthy but definitely needs a read). Looks like a sound judgment.

Oh cross-posts. I think a mother should ave the right to keep a baby. As that is in the best interest of the baby.

Right decision when you know all the facts.

I know many shit mothers and many shit fathers. Many amazing mothers and amazing fathers. Surely you can see a baby with a shit mother and amazing father Combo should go to the father in that situation

There is loads of support for mothers. Just because you are a woman it doesn't mean you have to slavishly support mothers/women in everything.

*The breast feeding doesn't mean a thing. The baby can be fed a bottle.

Letting a baby feed from you doesn't make you a super and untouchable parent*

that really, spectacularly misses the point.

Where is the child's best interest in this? Seems all about the rights of the parents tbh

Why on earth you would think that? If a mother is being abusive or allowing her child to be abused then they should still be with her just because she's a woman???

It is not always in the best interests of a baby or child to stay with the mother. That is so obvious it should not require to be said.
Sound judgement and the right one

What, all mothers? Having breasts does not make you a good parent!

presumably all evidence was heard and baby placed with those deemed to be the most suitable parents.

If she's been disruptive and offensive then that certainly wouldn't have done her any favours would it.

and there is a perfectly good substitute for breastfeeding and a baby should not remain with an unfit parent just because of breast milk.

I'd be appalled at her behaviour more than anything else. and the baby will be just fine living with her dad's.

I would think the sex of the legal team and judge is irrelevant as they will have used the law to influence and reach a decision. Not some nonsense about the sisterhood trumping reason and being competent in the workplace.

It's not relevant whether I'm a mother or breastfed because my opinion comes from my brain not my children or my mammary glands.

I'm an extended BFing mother and I think you're talking out of your arse OP.

And you, and the facts of this case, seem strangely familiar.