Brave brave Tom Daley

[louloutheshamed]

has posted on you tube that he is in a relationship with a guy.

bless him.

sooperdooper

But I do agree that it goes to show its still an inherently homophobic society we live in that has created the situation where it's newsworthy that someone's in a relationship.

Cobblers. The media might think it's newsworthy, and the achingly right-on might post on Twitter about how 'brave' it is (just to prove they're more homophilic than thou), but the rest of us don't give a tuppenny fuck where Tom Daley sticks his wang. We...don't....care. That the media still treats it like a big deal is wierd and freaky.

I don't get all the fuss

He's gay. Get over it. Meh.

Why it's front page news, I've absolutely no idea.

the rest of us don't give a tuppenny fuck where Tom Daley sticks his wang
yy

flatpack, you're ignoring the obvious connection. People don't think Tom Daley is brave for saying he's gay, they think he's brave for saying so when - as you yourself point out - the "media still treats it like a big deal". And what does "treating it like a big deal" mean in practice? It means getting nobbers from the Daily Mail calling your grandparents to see if they can get a homophobic quote out of them. It means being doorstepped and having your family being doorstepped. Being the centre of media attention in this way is not much fun.

And before anyone says the obvious, the alternative to him saying something is not for it to remain private. It's for the press to break the story first, with him having no control over it.

Our press are truly vile.

The quote is "I still fancy girls - but, I mean right now I'm dating a guy and I couldn't be happier. It just feels safe and it just really does feel right" and goes about how it really shouldn't matter but wanted to post it anyway.

And then the news spat it out as Daley being gay kinda erasing part of who he is, very much typical media bi/pansexual erasure, which is quite frustrating.

HomeHelpMeGawd

flatpack, you're ignoring the obvious connection. People don't think Tom Daley is brave for saying he's gay, they think he's brave for saying so when - as you yourself point out - the "media still treats it like a big deal". And what does "treating it like a big deal" mean in practice? It means getting nobbers from the Daily Mail calling your grandparents to see if they can get a homophobic quote out of them. It means being doorstepped and having your family being doorstepped. Being the centre of media attention in this way is not much fun.

Given the half-decade of media shite he's already had to put up with, I imagine coming out is probably easier than the meddling media's pressure around the Olympics. Oh yes, and remember his dad died from a tumour and that was all over the press? This is nothing, it'll be gone in 24 hours. He'll take it in his stride.

And note the reaction in the comments on the Mail's website. 90% of the comments are 'Who cares'. Nobody gives a fuck. And the 'Gays are paedos because God says so' comments are just as numerous as the 'Gosh he's so marvellous because he's now a minority we can patronise' comments.

The fact this is newsworthy is a bit depressing to me.

Why should gay people have to 'come out' nowadays? It's not a big deal.

If I've had my hand in the blender for 3 minutes, I'm not sure I'd say "fuck it, what's another 30 seconds?"

but YMMV

It is excellent that so many of the comments were saying "meh". I think there's been a sea change in attitudes. My view is that this has happened in the last 3 years or so, and has been partly driven by people coming out. So all good, I say.

Good article on this in the Times by Matthew Parris: "You're either hiding it or parading it; the critics don't allow a third choice".

HomeHelpMeGawd

If I've had my hand in the blender for 3 minutes, I'm not sure I'd say "fuck it, what's another 30 seconds?"

but YMMV

Point taken, I just meant that being gay isn't a big deal like your dad dying or winning a gold medal (or at least it would be way down my list of stressful events in C21 Britain (but stick me in Somalia and I would feel differently)), so in terms of trauma it's some way down the scale. (IMO)

For all of everyone saying it's not a big deal, that's great that it's not a big deal to be gay for you, your family, your workplace and where you live but Tom Daley's job takes him all over the world that is not as tolerant.

This year diving championships were in Dubai where homosexuality is illegal, punishable by deportation and prison. He had to go do his job knowing it's illegal to be himself.

The 2015 championships will be held in Russia, and unless you live under a rock you know about the human rights abuses gays are currently experiencing and the wishy washy guarantees the Russian government is offering the Olympic Committee about the safety of gay competitors.

So that's my long-winded way of saying he is brave and it is a big deal.

The options aren't straight or gay, he's clearly stated he's dating a guy and also fancies women. I feel bad that he took the effort to do this, and only part of one sentence is getting any acknowledgement while the rest of what he said is being completely ignored.

This one or the other rhetoric erases a lot of people, creating a false binary. As a pansexual, I didn't become a lesbian when I was dating women nor am I straight now that I'm with a man. It's incredibly frustrating to be with someone and having people think now they've successfully sussed you out, that the rest of my relationships with other genders weren't real at all if I'm choosing to be with one.

complexnumber

For all of everyone saying it's not a big deal, that's great that it's not a big deal to be gay for you, your family, your workplace and where you live but Tom Daley's job takes him all over the world that is not as tolerant.

He might be visiting those places, but he's going as a tourist. He's not a resident of those countries. If he announced that he was gay and was moving to Dubai, then it would be 'brave' rather than 'no big deal'.

What annoys me is he's now 'gay Tom Daley' rather than an amazing diver. He'll now be forever defined by certain journalistic groups by his sexuality rather than his ability. He'll be a 'spokesman' for gay sportsmen and women whether he likes it or not. This tokenism makes me puke.

Tourists are arrested and deported from Dubai, although no high profile ones that I know of.

I still think it's pretty tough to go and work in a country, even if only for a week, if you were born illegal, according to the laws of that country, and everyone knows it.

sad to say Tom was probably left no choice. (media )

Feel a bit uncomfortable that his new partner is twice his age though, as is now being reported.

And before I get flamed that would be my feeling whatever the gender mix of the relationship.

I think it is great for any younger kids struggling with their own sexuality, to have decent role models for them to look up to. If a young lad can identify with Tom, and think, 'well if it is ok for him, then I guess it is ok for me to', then I think that is brilliant. That is how society becomes more open, honest and accepting.

Yes he was likely to get outed anyway, but it was a brave step to take control of the situation himself, with a video.

Good role model in terms of same-sex relationships.

Not so good in terms of one being 20 years older than the other.

The age difference is very odd in view of how young Tom is.

Didn't really see the point in publicly coming out - kind of makes it more of an issue than it needed to be? His sexuality is his business - lots of people in the public eye are gay, bi sexual, etc - it's not unusual, shocking or newsworthy.

If he did it to make himself feel good then power to him. It may help other young individuals who feel uncomfortable coming out realise that there is nothing wrong in being gay, nothing to be ashamed of.

He did it because he wanted the news out there on his own terms, not some tabloid journalist's.

There would be a lot of interest in whoever he was dating; and unfortunately a same-sex relationship is still considered news in some parts of the media.