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So it's alleged nigella took drugs with her kids?

999 replies

Bradsplit · 26/11/2013 15:09

In the trial prosecution evidence. Aha.

OP posts:
BasilBabyEater · 05/12/2013 20:05

Really plinkyplonks? You think using drugs that used to be legal up until the 1930's, is worse than physically and emotionally abusing your wife and emotionally abusing your step children?

Really?

Juliet123456 · 05/12/2013 20:16

It certainly vindicates NL's decision to get out of the marriage although I doubt it was an easy decision. I am sure he has good points too and now he's very hurt and not used to not getting his way. He needs to be silent and recover rather than lashing out to the press which is only making him look like an aged fool.

plinkyplonks · 05/12/2013 20:30

BasilBabyEater - where did I say that? You're arguing a point I haven't made!

Slipshodsibyl · 05/12/2013 20:35

'You think using drugs...is worse than emotionally and physically abusing your wife'

A comparison the of severity of offences isn't very useful but the general feeling seems to be that occasional cocaine use is up to the individual and is harmless. It isn't. The Cocaine industry is terrible and causes the rural deaths of many in poor countries South America and in addition distorts the economies of these countries. The production of and market for cocaine is by no means benign.

Slipshodsibyl · 05/12/2013 20:36

Brutal not rural

flippinada · 05/12/2013 21:10

Agree that taking cocaine is not a harmless pastime but the focus of this is all wrong.

It shoudn't be "Is Nigella taking drugs?" it should be "why is Charles Saatchi being such an absolute bastard?"

Actually, the focus should be purely on the Grillo sisters and their guilt (or otherwise)...but it isn't.

flippinada · 05/12/2013 21:11

And I agree with BBE. Nigella is not 'as bad as Charles Saatchi'. Not in any way, shape or form.

Bonsoir · 05/12/2013 21:21

I'm with Slipshodsybil. I think that taking drugs is wrong, at every possible level - individual, familial, societal, global. And I think Nigella is very misguided indeed to think that by admitting to very occasional drug use, she is going to be let off the hook.

plinkyplonks · 05/12/2013 21:22

What's the point?

The argument i was making is that Nigella was being depicted as some sort of faultless angel who could do no wrong and he was a nasty old rich man. Well, it is being suggested that that she has taken Class A drugs, had Class A drugs available in her property and her daughter has allegedly had access to these drugs. There are countless threads on CS, with varying levels of hatred/bile fuelled by people's own experiences and dislikes..

It doesn't make a difference if a person does something worse than another. They've both made mistakes, they are both human, they both have issues that they need to deal with independently. That's why I said they are both as bad as each other. We shouldn't be trying to make excuses for them.

plinkyplonks · 05/12/2013 21:25

Bonsoir & Slipshodsybil - Agreed, taking drugs isn't a victimless crime. I don't like how some have tried to minimise it or make it seem more trivial than it is.

Golddigger · 05/12/2013 21:28

I never get why two people cant both do unreasonable behaviour.

Surprising how many people think that if one person is behaving badly, it somehow diminshes what the other person does.

For all we know, the daughter may now be a regular drug taker. Not acceptable if that ends up being true.

flippinada · 05/12/2013 21:35

She's not being depicted as a "faultless angel" and she hasn't atttempted to depict herself as a "faultless angel" either.

"For all we know, the daughter may now be a regular drug taker." Is there any evidence for this, apart from speculation?

TheDoctrineOfSanta · 05/12/2013 21:48
mathanxiety · 05/12/2013 22:47

It seems from the turn this thread has taken that I was right to state that it is Nigella Lawson who is on trial here, just as Saatchi in all likelihood hoped. It might be worth remembering that passing on the ball that he kicked into play here is essentially taking the side of an abusive and vindictive ex husband, and that itself is a choice that has far-reaching ramifications.

I completely disagree that CS and NL are 'as bad as each other'. I hope you will never experience domestic abuse yourself, Plinkyplonks, because there are easier ways for you to come to realise how utterly wrong you are on that score.

plinkyplonks · 05/12/2013 23:44

Sorry mathanxiety, going to respectfully disagree with you on a number of points.

Firstly, you don't know the first thing about me so let's not make this personal. I have been physically and sexually abused, I grew up in a domestic abuse environment. I do not play the victim card or try to make it justify whatever view point I may have on this case. This isn't about me or domestic violence. I find it sad that you think it's OK to demean my point based on what you think I haven't been through, it's unnecessarily patronising.

Secondly, the thread has been created into the response to the allegation she took drugs and that her daughter had access to them. There are a large number of threads dedicated to discussing NL and CS relationship - the alleged domestic violence, the police caution, those pictures etc. This isn't another one of those threads

Thirdly, I've already explained what I mean by as bad as each other. Two rights do not make a wrong in their situation. Because he was a " insert whatever " doesn't mean she should be able to allegedly take illegal class A drugs or potentially put her daughter in danger. I find it sad that people want to take the point i am making out of context to create an argument that isn't there. Domestic violence is not the same as drug use, but both actions are still wrong . Wrong= wrong, and trying to explain whether something is more wrong than the other in this context is kind of pointless.

caruthers · 06/12/2013 01:00

This isn't the first time she took drugs is it?

The pair of them deserved each other he's violent and she puts her children at risk leaving drugs lying around.

He got himself divorced and she loses TV contracts...it's a win win isn't it?

BasilBabyEater · 06/12/2013 01:25

Why are you saying that she left drugs lying around? Taking them, doesn't mean you leave them lying around. You've just made that up.

Sorry plinkyplops you're right, you didn't say NL was worse than CS, you said she's as bad as him. That's what I'm questioning. I agree that drug taking is not a victimless crime, but I see it as being in the sane league as buying from Primark or owning a mobile phone; something practically all of us do knowing it is supporting industries which cause horrific hardship to the people in them.. From the point of view of drug taking, I see the occasional recreational use as similar to having wine every night - and that seems to be the way NL was doing it, not in a leaving drugs around the place, being high as a kite for 10 years sort of way.

My basic objection to this is the implication that unless a woman is a perfect victim, a man's domestic violence against her doesn't really count. It's cancelled out by her behaviour, the only women who are entitled not to be attacked by their male partners, are perfect ones. And we know there's no such thing as a perfect woman.

caruthers · 06/12/2013 01:33

She's accused of leaving drugs lying around and introducing her daughter to drugs and you seem to be protecting her by minimising the damage she's done with this drug use.

Let's ignore the fact she's a drug user and just concentrate on her being the victim shall we?

mathanxiety · 06/12/2013 05:19

the thread has been created into the response to the allegation she took drugs and that her daughter had access to them. There are a large number of threads dedicated to discussing NL and CS relationship - the alleged domestic violence, the police caution, those pictures etc. This isn't another one of those threads

You are right. This particular thread was created in order to gloat at the fall from a pedestal of a person who works hard at what she does very well, but had the huge misfortune to get involved with a really loathsome man.

This vile man seized the opportunity offered, inexplicably, by the court, to fling at his ex wife whatever mud he thought would stick, out of sheer spite and vindictiveness, and also because of a massive miscalculation that he would succeed in dragging her name through the dirt in the court of public opinion.

The beauty of accusing her of all sorts of offences against motherhood and womanliness and wifeliness in the context of a trial of other people (concerning money he cared so little about over the course of a whole decade he never asked about it or even knew how his accounts were managed) is that while ostensibly Nigella is not the person on trial, all attention is on her and the question of whether she used drugs and if so how often. Moreover, any accusation can be levelled at her -- anything at all that her former nearest and dearest can dream up and present to the idiot judge and to the press, from using drugs, to leaving drugs lying around, to teaching her children to snort coke, to sneezing in the souffle she served her guests, and she has absolutely no recourse to a suit for libel. You can see from Caruthers' post how useful the 'bad character' quirk of the criminal justice system has been to Saatchi. It is a knock down, drag out character assassination that is going on here. Anyone who thinks CS suddenly found it within him to care through all of this about his money and how it got spent in such huge gobs over the years needs their head screwed on.

My basic objection to this is the implication that unless a woman is a perfect victim, a man's domestic violence against her doesn't really count. It's cancelled out by her behaviour, the only women who are entitled not to be attacked by their male partners, are perfect ones. And we know there's no such thing as a perfect woman.

I agree with this post from Basil.

It seems there are posters here who think women deserve what they get by way of abuse?
Please tell me I am wrong in inferring this from some recent posts.

mathanxiety · 06/12/2013 05:20

And sorry, Plinky, I do not believe that any woman who experienced domestic abuse from a husband or partner would ever say what you said.

mathanxiety · 06/12/2013 05:23

And why the juxtaposition of drug taking and domestic abuse if you don't think there is some acceptable quid pro quo at play here?

wordfactory · 06/12/2013 07:06

Why is it that a woman who has been abused has to be perfect to be a victim. And if she's flawed, then frankly she deserves what she gets. As if that'sd fair.

It's always the same. Whren women are raped or abused in any form, their entire behaviour and life is up for grabs!

flippinada · 06/12/2013 07:25

mathanxiety spot on. Absolutely spot on.

TheDoctrineOfSanta · 06/12/2013 07:29

I have seen nothing that said she left drugs lying around, I don't think even CS Sahd that.

merrymouse · 06/12/2013 07:33

She isn't talking about drugs because she is doing some kind of big celeb interview, she is talking about drug because the extent of her drug use is part of the grillos' defence.

She isn't accused of anything, the grillo sisters are. If somebody wants to take her to court for drug use that is a separate matter.

Nobody has argued that NS is perfect, just that her perfection or otherwise has no relevance to her right not to be a victim of DV, and that it is difficult to understand why the case is in court (crime unlikely to be repeated, cost ££££, time consuming for those involved, damaging for children, no hope of getting money back) except as a means of attack. If making the best of it means killer make-up and being articulate, well good for Nigella.