100 things you don't need to do before you die

[Dillytante]

Although I don't have a bucket list because I'd find it guilt inducing (more things to do that I just don't have time for) I am a bit of a sucker for feeling like I should do things. So was pleased to read this Graun article 100 things you don't need to do before you die so I could cross a few things off.

I'm already crossing climbing Everest off as I have just read Into Thin Air about the 1996 disaster where a load of climbers died. And the ones that didn't seem to have such a miserable time anyway. So defo not doing that.

Anyone else got any more I can cross off my list? Places I don't need to go? Books I don't need to read?

[notenoughlicorice]

If you travel internationally or to a country you are not familiar with, do not book into places for just one night. There is no point. You will spend most of your time in transit, packing, unpacking and never relax to enjoy your constantly changing surroundings. This is even more so if you are completely unfamiliar with the language or culture.

Don't bother staying on Koh Phi Phi in Thailand. It was completely rebuilt after the tsunami and has become an escalating money making exercise in liberating funds from pakage tourist by people not native to Koh Phi Phi ever since. When the tide goes out the sewage etc stagnates in the shallow water and the stench is horrendous. As are the bugs, obnoxious tourists "looking for The Beach" and eurotrash style nightclubs that blare music all night every night. If you really want to go do not go Nov-Feb as it is horrendously expensive and full of hideous tourists and scammers from every corner of Thailand, and other nations as far away as Nepal and Nigeria.
Much better to stay somewhere else nearby and take a day trip out there. Sure they fimled The Beach there, but DeCaprio stayed on Lanta, and the beach inside a cave is actually Koh Muk way to the south.

If you go to Thailand do not look at a map and think "oh, let's just 'island-hop' from here, to there and there", thinking you can tick these islands off some ficticious list in your mind no one cares about. It can look appealing to do that - those little dashed lines on maps make it look easy - but it is not, and not worth it.
Far better to settle for a longer time on one or two islands. This way you actually get to enjoy your surroundings and will not be dismissed as a wanker that likes to say "oh we DID the islands" by people that have any real knowledge of these places.

[notenoughlicorice]

Don't try to learn snowboarding if you are over 30. Particularly if you are over 30 and only did it once at 24 and only ever perfected "face-down" and "face-up" as ways of decending a snow covered slope with a snowboard.


If you are over 30 and think it would be so nice to take your hubby to the snow (as he has never seen it) and give him snowboarding lessons (as he always wanted to try them), then DO NOT LET HIM CONVINCE YOU TO JOIN IN!!!
This will not be be recounted by your hubby as a romantic gesture you did for him in the future (especially if he starts with "Oh my God, you should have seen it! She was..."). He won't be telling this story with eyes swelling with love and adoration either (think expression he uses when recounting favourite action movies instead).

Do not let the chirpy, perky "mountain people" up there convince you either (they are all under 30 and have been skiing, snowboarding and skiijumping since they were born).
Ignore them all and go and sit in the chalet and have a lovely glass of gluewine, a hot cup of cocoa or a bag of crisps, and watch him deftly gide past on his skillfull virgin descent from the warmth and safety of indoors (as you had originally planned in your "I have a lovely idea he would be so impressed with" romantic imagination).

Otherwise you will find yourself unconcious in the snow after an incident with a 7 year-old, then on the back of a paramedic skidoo, and then facing a VERY unconfortable bus-ride back home to bed, and days of pain.
You will only find out about the incident with the 7 year old from eyewitness acounts (that include your husband and every single person you will meet the rest of your time in the snow). These will eerily match with the sounds that replay in your concussed mind.

[DoctorTwo]

Don't try to learn snowboarding if you are over 30. Particularly if you are over 30 and only did it once at 24 and only ever perfected "face-down" and "face-up" as ways of decending a snow covered slope with a snowboard.

Sorry notenough, that's hilarious. :o It's exactly why I have never snowboarded. I can see myself not so gracefully descending a slope on my arse with the board trailing behind me.

[TrucksAndDinosaurs]

Don't deliberately set out to 'experience' extreme weather.

[Dillytante]

Pleased to see so many replies. This thread has saved me years!

[alliswell2]

If you have young children don't bother packing up their toys. What's the point they will be everywhere again before you know it.

[alliswell2]

As an addition to the above if you have young children don't bother cleaning (except for the absolute essentials).

[RosieBubblesMummy]

Don't get in a vehicle in Ecuador. I swear I nearly died a few times on a trip there.Seriously.

[Galdos]

100 things before you die sounds like a bucket list of regrets. Regret nothing, experience what you can, and enjoy what you might. Everything, no matter how horrible, or how close and seemingly parochial, can in retrospect be seen as interesting and valuable. The most interesting stuff happens nearer home.

[MirandaGoshawk]

Don't bother with the Tate in St Ives. A rip-off with about 10 crappy paintings. Much better art in the local galleries which are free!

[stubbornstains]

YY Miranda. Or go to the Tates in London. Also see National Maritime Museum in Falmouth. Or rather don't.

[MirandaGoshawk]

Tate Modern has some OK stuff in the turbine hall but both times I've been I was at the old crap quality of the rest of the exhibition.

The British Museum, National Gallery & V&A, OTOH, are always uplifting for me & are free! The new(ish) jewellery gallery at the V&A is awesome!

[grimbletart]

Don't watch East Enders - unless you are working up the will to commit suicide;

Don't go to Gibraltar - it's just a bloody rock;

YY don't bother with Tate Modern - full of pseuds pretending to see meaning in garish blocks of colour that a 5 year old could produce;

Don't bother with village Christmas 'Fayres' - unless you are desperate to win a tin of baked beans on the tombola;

Don't watch porn - it will put you off proper sex and you can get the same sound effects from thrusting a broom stick into a whoopee cushion;

Don't brush up leaves until the end of November - the trees will only dump another load of the little fuckers the minute you put the broom away;

Don't buy any meat from supermarkets - it's never hung properly, cuts like old leather and tastes like it;

Don't watch reality TV shows - it only encourages narcissists.

Oh, and never ever take any notice of people tell you not to do things - what the hell would they know about your tastes?

[ohmymimi]

Swim with dolphins or visit Sea World and its like ( but do watch 'Blackfish' and 'The Cove' if you need to know why).

Buy a fancy coffee-maker, Moka Express does the trick.

Get a juicer, fruit and veg should be chewed.

Visit Damien Hirst's Vauxhall gallery. It's remarkable how apt his given name is . And the only art he has any aptitude for is that of making money from the gullible.