Part of me thinks bring the special school on- especially as we have an autistic unit 3 miles away. But because we don't yet have a formal DX for Sam (and I would bet a lot that we never will, much as we are certain) there are a lot of things I have yet to face up to. I can type My son has As a hundred times a day- doesn't mean I accept it, just that I know it, iyswim.
Sam is like many of those kids on the film sometimes. He reserves his best for when we are at home alone, though he did give the social worker a fab display, meaning he is on their disability index albeit no dx. I noticed some of the kids doing things- like hugging, eye contact- that we have been told by lots of professionals mean he can't be As. We also get crud like he does imaginative games.... by which he means he has separated his class into two tams- his,a nd people he can randomly attack. They could have meant his only other playtime activity of ocurse, piggy, where he runs about shouting piggy and scratching people.
He also, according to the professionals, has a good friend. This friend won't come near the house any more since Sam had a meltdown and flipped himself around the house whilst barking at him. `He was also seen crying last week that Sam prefers to play alone than with him. Friend's Mum is convinced that Sam will be cured with time, but she did say she'd complain about playing alone as it is rude. I can't put on a public forum what I could have done at that moment. She's supposed to be a friend of mine and knows. Other Mums have told their kids to tell Sam he cannot play with them because he is wrong in the head. These are nice middle class mam's who just don't want to know.
We went to a barbecue with a paddling pool at the weekend, decided to go even though Sam had a few bad d ays, as this friend had two ASD kids, and one of the cousins was AS. They both (the Mums) spent the time saying they didn't believe Sam had any isues because he was so lovely; when we got home he screeched, spat (a big problem lately), attacked ds2 again, threw himself about- even Dh couldn't restrain him. The next day we got up to find Sam had wee'd over the kitchen floor (he is 65 and completely trained) and not told anyone; he and ds2 were paddling in it. (DS2 not realising)
Long term, our preferred hope is to get a house we can convert with a fl;at for him. Right now though we're in rented, and Sam trashed the last house, losing us our deposit. because no DX we have no money or help at all (not that there's much with a dx) and though I am lucky to have a friend take hom once a week for a few hours after she realised I was at breaking about a month ago (she has 2 older ASD kids herself), we are 50 miles from family.... none of whom have visited for over a year. MIL did come but as she loathes Sam (the freak) that's a waste. My own problems (I would guarantee myself a dx of As if I could see the point I reckon, although I have gained a lot more living skills lately- I have friends now, and am quite outgoing, which is a big cjhange) mean that it's hard for me to go to groups- I have no spacial awareness for example, and can't drive 4 miles without getting lost, or find my car in car parks. Plus I am usually too tired anyway, as Sam sleep very badly.
Which sounds awful, but its not: as a rule I am happy and Sam can be adorable on a routine fixed, good day. Ds2 and Ds3 are fab, and help a lot, as does DH. And Uni helps.... I'm very bookish/ academic by nature anyhow.