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Original poster

another times article - co-sleeping until 5 is best!

47 replies

katzg · 14/05/2006 08:12

on a roll this morning interesting article on co-sleeping \link{http://women.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,17909-2179265_1,00.html\until 5 years}

OP posts:
kama · 14/05/2006 08:21

This reply has been deleted

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FrannyandZooey · 14/05/2006 08:35

Oh wow, great article, thanks for that.

FairyMum · 14/05/2006 08:36

I really think it's down to the individual. I co-sleep, but not until 5 because my children have naturally preferred to sleep in their own bed after a few years. However, I don't like all this "more likely to grow up as calm adults" because it really doesn't suit everyone. Some parents don't get any sleep if kicked in the stomach 8 times a night by a little foot and some babies/children rather want to play than sleep if in bed with their parents. I think it's great with a positive article about co-sleeping though and I think especially that very small babies (pre-6 months) should at the very least sleep in the same room as their parents.

CarolinaMoonfish · 14/05/2006 08:46

very interesting article.

not sure what you do if you've got, say, 3 under 5. Get a superkingsize I spose...

It's a bit much to expect tinies to sleep alone - how many of us sleep alone as adults if we've got a partner available to share with?

FrannyandZooey · 14/05/2006 08:55

Carolina, IME, having a child in your bed and breastfeeding through the night is a great contraceptive

Shock

and as mentioned on another thread, we have a superkingsize futon and a double joined together

:o

CarolinaMoonfish · 14/05/2006 09:02

OMG. we slept on a futon for a few weeks while waiting for a new bed to arrive and it killed my poor bones. Admittedly it was only a few weeks after having ds and I still had the body of a 70yo.

Re contraceptive, I had to pack in bfing for that very reason Sad. And we only get to shag on the floor now, like a pair of furtive teenagers (tmi, I know...).

FrannyandZooey · 14/05/2006 09:07

Do you know, I think it transformed my sleep when I was pregnant. It is so firm and supportive, I could even lie on my side or half on my bump comfortably. I was the only one in my antenatal class who was getting any decent sleep at all.

Yes furtive shags are a bit crap after a while. When people find out we co-sleep they always say "Oh! But how do you.....er, anyway" and change the subject :)

dewmeadow · 14/05/2006 09:25

My DS (11 weeks) usually wakes around 4 or 5 ish and then comes into bed with us, and while I love feeding him in bed Im despersately afraid of killing him!!

My HV told me grisly local tales and my DH and myself waken in horror regularly.

Original poster
katzg · 14/05/2006 09:30

we kinda co-slept with dd1 until she was 18months, when she woke in the night she came into our bed.

with dd2 we're doing the same she goes down in her cot but when she wakes she comes into our bed, although last night she had managed to turn at right angels to the pillow so was lying her full length across the width! i was woken up by being kicked in the head! when i moved her she woke up and that was it for the night!

but i do like co-sleeping, it just feels, well nice and natural.

OP posts:
threebob · 14/05/2006 09:34

I like sleeping with ds on holiday if we have two double beds it's better than squeezing in with dh.

However we are all better for having seperate sleep at other times. Ds genuinely likes his own room and his own bed, and asked for both.

I am a sling wearing, extended bfing, no pushchair, no highchair type, so believe me I tried to make it work, but sometimes our children have other ideas!

Munz · 14/05/2006 09:40

don't think we'll co sleep till he's 5 - althou he's in a crib by my side of the bed - is that still co sleeping? he comes into bed with me at about 6 am to see if he'll have another hour or two.

we were planning to try his own room in a few weeks once he's 4 months - but tbh I might strech it out till 6 months and go for the summer, v paranoid about his shallow breathing!

some times I have him on the bed with me - either a nice cuddle all night or he's inbetween twon pillows and I cuddle the pillow iycwim - started that after I ahd a fear of suffocating him. don't take him on the bed when DH is in there as it's a bit cramped then!

Original poster
katzg · 14/05/2006 09:41

DD1 won't have a bar of co-sleeping now! DH was away recently and i offered her his space in the bed she declined! shes 3.5years

OP posts:
shellybelly · 14/05/2006 10:11

same as munz, dd is in our room in her cot, sometimes she will come in with us for the night if she is unwell and other times she will come in when she wakes in the morning 5.30am-6.00am.

Mind you she is nearly 11mths and we both said we would keep her in our room till she was 1yr old but I'm not looking forward to her going in her own room as I will really miss lying in bed just watching her sleep and then her waking up with huge grins saying Hiya

Munz · 14/05/2006 10:13

SB - exactly, for me it's gonna be a sad day when Joey's in his own room, I like the reassurance of hearing him breathing (I'm a v light sleeper) and althou DH tells me it will be fine with the moniter I cna't help but worry.

shellybelly · 14/05/2006 10:22

Munz I can see the first few weeks with me running back and forth to see she is ok and not getting much sleep Grin

Angeliz · 14/05/2006 10:23

I co-sleep with dd2 who is 15 months. I love it and dp and i were just saying yesterday actuallu for all those who say she'll be clingy and dependant (i.e...my Mam!!), she is the most independant baby ever.
Obvioulsy not for everyone and if it was going to put a strain on a couple then maybe other options are better for them. I do think it's natural and lovely though and although i'm sure there have been a few freak accidents, i hate all the scare stories.
The article is interesting. My DP is doing alot of work at the moment about the brain scans actually (well it's something he is using) and he showed me pictures of different small childrens brains in different circumstances (when one has been severley neglected) and it's amazing!
We are having another at the end of August and i'm going to see if i can get dd2 in a little bed next to dd1 but i have to admit, if she doesn't go for it, i'll have to wrok around it. DP already sleeps in the spare room and dd2 is in with me in a Kingsize bed. (and i still manage to be hanging off the end every morning!)

shellybelly · 14/05/2006 10:24

I just wish dd didn't snore!

JoolsToo · 14/05/2006 10:24

No thanks!

shellybelly · 14/05/2006 10:26

and sex seems like a distant memory, can't be that long since i've had it but having dd in the room well am always scared incase we wake her!

spidermama · 14/05/2006 10:32

I've tended to co-sleep with mine til about 12months. They often come into our bed in the night or in the morning up to age 4 or so. It used to irritate me because I was so desperate for sleep and my own space. Now I'm on my last baby I'm treasuring these co sleeping moments because I know I'll miss them one day.

My six and seven year old wouldn't consider coming into bed with us now.

GDG · 14/05/2006 10:55

Best for who? Jesus, I can't imagine having had barely any sleep for the last 5 years - especially as I have 3 kids with the eldest being 5 and one that likes to sleep the wrong way round in the bed and kick his feet in your back.

And what about nookie? Shock

Nah, good luck to those of you it works for but it ain't for me! My 3 have slept through the night like a dream from being very tiny and so I, luckily, had no reason to have them in my bed.

GDG · 14/05/2006 10:58

Do agree it's natural and lovely if you can sleep comfortably and I do like it when ours all pile in in the morning for a cuddle - that's nice. But middle of the night, no, I need my sleep.

dewmeadow · 14/05/2006 11:49

My dd (2.5) came into our bed until she was 18 mths or so, but it came to an abrupt end when I couldnt take anymore of the kicking and sleeping on an edge. She never seemed to want DH's side of the bed! I was working then and was putting off the controlled crying until the summer. However I wasnt getting any sleep anyway!

I dont know how anyone gets a decent sleep with bigger children in the bed.

fuzzywuzzy · 14/05/2006 11:58

Hmmm well it would take a jolly big bed, I heaved a sigh of relief when I could put dd1 one in her own bed at around 18 months, before that dp and I precariously clung to the edge of the bed whilst dd slept in the middle. Conducive to a good nights sleep it aint, at least in a normal king sized bed.

dewmeadow · 14/05/2006 12:04

My DH definitely did not cling to the edge. He had at least 2/3s of the bed!