Page 2 | another times article - co-sleeping until 5 is best!

katzg · 2006-05-14T07:12:03+00:00

on a roll this morning interesting article on co-sleeping \link{http://women.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,17909-2179265_1,00.html\until 5 years}

singersgirl · 14/05/2006 12:07

I agree with GDG. Best for whom? I'd have been a lousy parent during the day if I'd co-slept. I just can't sleep well with mine - they want to hold my hair and pat me.

Still, if it works for you.....

fuzzywuzzy · 14/05/2006 12:08

DM I put dd in between us, I wasn't about to lose even more sleep over whether dd would fall out of bed in the middle of the night.....

Arabica · 14/05/2006 12:46

DS co-slept until he was about 2, partly because we only had one room to sleep in and we all enjoyed sleeping together. He has his own room now, but always creeps into our bed if he wakes up in the small hours. I guess when the new baby arrives it'll be 4 in a bed--good job we invested in a super-king-size!
I think it's all about what's best for you and your family, but for me, what DS needed was my first priority and it was clear that he disliked being separated from us at night. It made sense too when i was bf--he could latch on quickly and easily without getting distressed.

Bronze · 14/05/2006 15:47

Soon to have three children under five and we're both very tall. Do they make beds big enough?

happybebe · 14/05/2006 15:56

he obviously didnt watch house of tiny tearaways with the poor little girl that had to be put into her own bed 298 times in one night to break the habit of co sleeping...

motherinferior · 14/05/2006 15:58

I would have gone insane with co-sleeping - I found it hard enough with a baby muttering and snuffling and farting in the same room. I do like it when the Inferiorettes come into our bed for a cuddle in the morning, though, and occasionally if DP is away we do all snuggle up together in the evening.

expatinscotland · 14/05/2006 16:03

dd1 slept w/us till she was 2.

dd2 just moved in w/her sister at night.

she's 5 months and sleeps from about 10PM-7AM

monkeytrousers · 14/05/2006 16:09

Lol MI.

Ever since DS (19 months) has been getting his back teeth in he has taken to only going to sleep on our bed with either one of us there and then has to bbe carried into his cot. Then he wakes in the middle of the night and has to come in again or has the biggest tired screechy tantrums and it takes about an hour for him to stop tossing and turning before we can put him back in the cot, We are exhausted - don't have room for a kingsize either!

themoon66 · 14/05/2006 16:26

I think it really depends on the individual child. My DD only used to get in with us after nightmares etc. Once when DH was alway, I offered her to come in with me (she was 3). She said 'no mummy you must learn to sleep on your own, just coz daddy is away I'm not looking after you' (hands on hips, bossy voice).

DS however, used to sneak in nearly every night, then suck his fingers loudly in my ear before falling asleep and snoring loudly all night. He used to crawl around under the duvet too, often falling out of the bottom of the bed with a loud thump at 5am. So none of us got much sleep.

ScummyMummy · 14/05/2006 16:45

No objection per se but I think it's a pretty long time to have an irregular sex life and is also pretty untenable unless you have one kid at a time and big age gaps between them or an absolutely supersonic sized bed.

Arabica · 14/05/2006 18:04

If anyone is interested in \link{https://www.thebigbedcompany.co.uk/content/default.aspx\v large beds}... they cost a lot though!

stripeybumpsmum · 14/05/2006 21:06

Co-sleeping not for me - DS got moved to his own room quickly because he snored/snuffled/farted etc so loudly he woke both DH and I up continuously all night(erm, mention of DH, DS and snoring/farting in same sentence...maybe there's a genetic connection?). I honestly think we all sleep better (it is a small house so not like he's in another wing of the mansion or anything - probably only about 3 metres away and the doors are always open).
But what annoyed me about the article was the flawed argument. OK I accept it could have been harsh editing but to suggest that non-co-sleepers are more stressed because they are allowed to cry isn't a fair comparison. I wouldn't dream of leaving DS to cry, whether he is in his bed, my bed or during the day.
As with others, I love the morning cuddles with all three of us in our bed. But all night? No way (admittedly, I love my bed so much I could quite happily conduct all my business there!)

stripeybumpsmum · 14/05/2006 21:09

Sorry, shall I re-word that...I meant conduct my business in a welcome to my boudoir way, being in my bed fully dressed for phone calls, reading papers/books, drinking tea etc. I don't literally mean do my business (that would all be a bit too Tracey Emin...)

hulababy · 14/05/2006 21:16

We co-slept (by which I mean sleeping in same bed) with DD until she was about 15 months, when we moved house. We did have a bedside cot during that time and she would start off in that and then gradually move across. It never disturbed mone or DH's sleep - opposite in fact. Having to get up in the night to a crying child was far harder. She slept and we slept when she was in our bed. No one slept if she was not in our bed! We would have made the move out of our bed, and bedroom, earlier but our hous emove was delayed. Wasn't a massive problem moving her into her own room though, although she would still come into our bed during the early hours for a while.

She has just turned 4 now. She is a very independant little girl, but given the chance she'll sneak into our bed for cuddles in the night if she can get away with it. :)

I like co-sleeping. Had never planned to do it. But it worked for us at the time.

As for sex??? We managed perfectly well, thanks

Angeliz · 14/05/2006 21:31

lol at themoon66
I do that when dp is away
Mind you, it's because i can't sleep with her in another room when we're alone, i like to have my girls in with me and i practically barricade us in! I really must stop as i'm sure dd1 will realise soon
Just can't settle on my own now, (and i lived alone for years, it's just that now i have two gorgeous girls to protect too)

Very interesting thread this. I like it. I do think the point someone made about not every child actually wanting it important too. My nephew was never a touchy feely baby, always wrigled away at contact .

Angeliz · 14/05/2006 21:33

We haven't had sex in the bedroom for years anyway!
Infact anywhere really
(but i've told DP noone would beleive him as i'm pregnant with 3rd.)

UCM · 14/05/2006 21:38

Can anyone help me out then, DS slept in his own bed until we took the babygate down.

since then we let him go to sleep in our bed until he was asleep, then put him in back in his own bed.

Now, he sleeps in our bed, which is funny in the way that DH sleeps at the end of the bed and me & DS sleep at the top. It's ridiculous especially as it's not always been like this.

ruty · 15/05/2006 10:33

i don't know if we could make it to five co sleeping, but we do still co sleep with ds, 20 months, and this article made me feel a lot better about it. sleeping was a nightmare for the first three to four months, and he would not settle in his cot, ever. So when we finally started to co sleep it just felt natural for us and we all started getting a good night's sleep.
LOL about shagging on the floor Carolinamoonfish, i'm afraid we are in the same situation!

heartinthecountry · 15/05/2006 10:49

It's in the Daily Mail and the Express today as well.

Papillon · 15/05/2006 11:34

link not working

joelalie · 15/05/2006 12:47

I don't know about it being better but it just seems the obvious thing to do. BFing is much easier that way. If I think about it all of mine more or less moved to their own beds when they stopped bf - 18 months, 3 years and 3 years (and counting!!). Even now they big ones sleep with me from time to time if they are ill of feeling unhappy in some way. Not had a problem with sex due to that - our problem is more due to the fact that I am so tired at night and DH is rubbish at mornings that we never coincide . However we conceived twice whilst co-sleeping so can't be all that bad....

Overrun · 15/05/2006 19:05

I'm really torn on this issue, as can see the benefits of co sleeping, but my three ds's (three, and one) are so restless, I end up getting so tired, we only had all three of them in with us once! The oldest one often comes scurrying in during the night and I just automatically snuggle him in, then he starts kicking or snoring in his sleep and I end up taking him back to his bed!
I am familiar with the research that suggest prolonged crying is very stressful and detrimental for a babies mental health, so don't leave mine to cry and bring them in for a cuddle, but I think that it must be good for them to learn to sleep independently as well. Like most things there has got to be a balance