Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
News
Original poster

sick of crappy articles about parenting? READ THIS

92 replies

thewomanwhosnotmeanttobehere · 05/04/2006 09:10

\link{http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,,1746868,00.html\read this it's beautiful} ok, so she's still in the initial throes, but I think's it's a lovely piece.

OP posts:
Caligula · 05/04/2006 11:49

BP - in that case, the misery of parenting RC goes on about and which is lauded as somehow more honest than other mother's experience, should be presented more honestly as a view of motherhood by someone who had PND, rather than just a view of motherhood which more or less all of us secretly have but are too dishonest to say so.

I think that's what offends me most about the RC/ Lionel Shriver view of motherhood - the implication that we all hate it really but are pretending to enjoy it and just going through the motions because we're too dull and conventional to say what we really feel.

Original poster
thewomanwhosnotmeanttobehere · 05/04/2006 11:49

issyfit (are you issymum? - I am hat like woman who made a resolution yesterday not to be here until my exams are over, but as hardly anyone noticed have decided to break it...) possibly a bit gushy, but kind of nice. Before I had kids - and even when I had a baby, I saw parenthood as something static. something you settled into and would, eventually, hopefully, get good at - or at least used to. I have to do a double take when I think that I am now one of those people I used to think of as moderately capable, organised, used to it mums and that we are a moderately well-adjusted family. Your view about the complexities is a good one for me at the moment - I need something to be thankful for what I have and stop me wanting another baby!

OP posts:
Issyfit · 05/04/2006 11:52

Sorry WomanWho: Yes, I'm Issymum, but I've changed my dull name to 'Issyfit' at the prompting of MotherInferior.

Original poster
thewomanwhosnotmeanttobehere · 05/04/2006 11:54

sorry, one more thing - the "secret" business. When I started telling people I was pg I was, tbh, quite mystified by their reaction. They all seemed so unbelievably delighted I thought it was all part of a conspiracy, that they were not delighted, but just relieved that another sucker was going to join their rather crap club (Shock I know, but I couldn;t get my head round their delight). And when dd was born I understood. I might bemoan the difficulties of older-ish kids, and I might bemoan how bloody hard it can be, and I'm not daft enough to think it's the same for everyone, but I did - and still do - feel let in on a rather good secret.

OP posts:
Caligula · 05/04/2006 11:55

Dinosaur - what's wrong with Lionel Shriver?

Hmm, where do I start. I have a lunch date (ain't I swanky) so can't rant as long as I would like to, but for starters the patronising tone she adopts whenever she talks about mothers, mothering, etc. And what's more irritating than her, is the media's response to her, treating her like a genius when she's just a loon with ishoos.

Original poster
thewomanwhosnotmeanttobehere · 05/04/2006 11:55

I like the new name - yours I mean

OP posts:
JoolsToo · 05/04/2006 12:13

Caligula is it wise to call Lionel Shriver 'a loon'? Wink

bakedpotato · 05/04/2006 12:22

Caligula, I totally agree with your post of 11.49. It's embarrassing to admit, but I do blame RC (in part) for feeding my blindness where my own PND was concerned, first time around.

Yes I felt desperate, but I knew she had been desperate too, because I'd read about it in this great 'book of truth', and so I supposed it was quite normal to find yourself hating yourself, and stuck in a life that you hated

morningpaper · 05/04/2006 12:23

I agree that Lionel S IS a bit odd for lots of reasons

However, when we are saying things like "What do you mean, no one told you? You just didn't LISTEN!" then we have to respect someone like Shriver who DID listen and decided that it definitely wasn too much of a sacrifice for them - which is essentially all she's saying

dinosaure · 05/04/2006 12:25

Oh. Have missed all that. Have only read "We need to talk about Kevin". Which is not flawless, but jolly good all the same.

motherinferior · 05/04/2006 12:25

I do find her refreshingly anti-fluffy, I have to say. Lionel, that is. None of this 'oh, my world is so enriched and made marvellous, oh how I have no regrets despite my dreadful sacrifices and semi-deflated spare tyres, I gaze adoringly at my children and all is right with the world' stuff...

wwwnotreallyhere · 05/04/2006 12:26

oooh, you're brave, calling anyone a loon here! :)

bakedpotato · 05/04/2006 12:27

pmsl MI.
I don't want to lower the tone but I do find Lionel's Guardian byline outfit that denim shirt with the cutoff sleeves absolutely horrid

wwwnotreallyhere · 05/04/2006 12:27

That was to Caligula btw who is prob on swanky lunch date as I type.

morningpaper · 05/04/2006 12:27

I agree mi there is something very TRUTHFUL about saying "Gosh how lovely it is to spend my life flitting to New York and sitting and drinking coffee and talk about politics with my clever friends"

secretly I am wildy jealous

motherinferior · 05/04/2006 12:29

God yes. Can you imagine. Although personally, yes, I'd be able to afford things that weren't dreadful denim shirts, of course.

I did like her 'hey, I was dead chuffed to win a major literary prize thank you very much stance' as well.

monkeytrousers · 05/04/2006 12:30

That was really lovely. She has the luxury of course of being finantially comfortable I'd imagine though. Having and baby and still trying to become someone in that area is a bit more stressful.

motherinferior · 05/04/2006 12:31

Talking of which, what happened to Lubricant Lady, the one who had masses of children but spent her days throbbingly anticipating the next bout of inexhaustible eroticism with that bloke with the funny feet?

monkeytrousers · 05/04/2006 12:33

Inlet?

wwwnotreallyhere · 05/04/2006 12:34

Ha ha mi, yes, I remember her, can't remember her name though, wasn't she married to a novelist?

motherinferior · 05/04/2006 12:38

Aha, \link{http://dir.salon.com/story/mwt/col/waldman/2005/04/11/baby_lust/index.html\here we go}.

I quite liked (in the broadest sense of the word)\link{http://www.ayeletwaldman.com/myhusband.html\this one} too.

fennel · 05/04/2006 13:04

there are some good bits in that last one. I particularly like "But a person really mustn't be dictated to by her lady parts."

thought the guardian article far too gushy. i do ike having children. but still...

fennel · 05/04/2006 13:05

like not ike Blush

vontrapp · 05/04/2006 13:51

she's got issues! \link{http://books.guardian.co.uk/departments/healthmindandbody/story/0,,1417527,00.html}

Caligula · 05/04/2006 15:29

Back from lunch date - wasn't that swanky Wink

That Waldman woman - is she barking? I couldn't get through the whole article, because she appeared to have a vaguely complaining tone that her husband is normal and not a tosser. Am I just being uncharitable?

Swipe left for the next trending thread