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Original poster

sick of crappy articles about parenting? READ THIS

92 replies

thewomanwhosnotmeanttobehere · 05/04/2006 09:10

\link{http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,,1746868,00.html\read this it's beautiful} ok, so she's still in the initial throes, but I think's it's a lovely piece.

OP posts:
ItalianJob · 05/04/2006 09:37

would be intrigued to know what level (if any) of paid domestic help/childcare she has. agree that Lionel Shriver is a loon ; I remember reading in an interview that one of her few regrets about being childless was depriving the world of her wonderful intelligent genes.

Caligula · 05/04/2006 09:47

I wonder if Lionel Shriver will threaten to sue for her vicious campaign against her.

I thought this article was much needed balance. It doesn't gloss over the nightmares - I like the way she managed to get a swipe at hospital births in - but it does tell the side of the story that the Rachel Cusk brigades either choose not to, or haven't experienced. If it's the former they're all arses, if it's the latter, then I can only pity them. To have only the negatives of parenting would be truly dreadful and the human race would have died out by now. But most sane people, when confronted with their baby, manage to get something positive out of the experience. Even women with terrible PND get the love, joy etc. for some of the time. Those writers who write as if they get no joy at all, make me wonder what it is in their emotional make up, that stops them having any positive experience at all from parenthood.

Original poster
thewomanwhosnotmeanttobehere · 05/04/2006 09:59

I thought the article was very rich - it was actually good journalism - not just a "this is me" type piece, which happens way too much these days and which is just lazy (as well as ego-centric). She sets her own experiences (which, as a former pop star becoming a mother are more interesting anyway than those of most journalists) in the wider cultural context, and I think she does it very well

OP posts:
blueshoes · 05/04/2006 10:07

I find all articles about parenthood from new parents annoying, whichever view they take. Any parent would feel the whole spectrum of conflicting emotions one way of another at different or even the same time! Children bring that out in you. When I was childless, I would find such articles amusing and enlightening. Now that I have a child of my own, I am so not interested. Too busy living the nightmare (or dream) whichever way you see it.

motherinferior · 05/04/2006 10:08

I quite rather liked it. As oppposed to RC who brings me out in seething rage tinged piquantly with wild jealousy that she gets read and I don't.

nowanearlyNicemum · 05/04/2006 10:09

I've obviously been away too long - I have no idea who Rachel Cusk is - but I found this article very touching.
I do think we need a kick up the a* sometimes to remind us just how lucky we are.

morningpaper · 05/04/2006 10:10

haha mi

not fair is it

she's probably younger than you too

and a Prefect

katyp · 05/04/2006 10:14

Moaning half way round the world? I wish! - took mine to a local museum on Monday and had to leave after 20 minutes because of the tears/moaning!

ItalianJob · 05/04/2006 10:15

I liked her honesty about the birth - a good antidote to all those PG magazines that have articles saying "How to have the birth you want", as if you can guarantee it.

eidsvold · 05/04/2006 10:15

For me - this said it all

"Parenthood smells funny. It's tough, uneven, dark around the edges; it's also glorious, stimulating and profound."

loved it.

Avalon · 05/04/2006 10:16

I enjoyed it.

secur · 05/04/2006 10:19

What amased me about this article is that I still feel like that - my 4th child has just hit the terrible twos and I am wondering why on earth I started it all again, whilst tearing my hair out (as is almost obligitory at this stage LOL). However, at the same time, I feel just as strongly as I did right back at the begining when dd1 was 6 months old, it is the right thing for ME to be, and I, for one, am sick and tired of people too scared/stupid to realise that they could be wrong, telling me I am boring and tied down without even the decency to ask ME if I have anything worth adding to the debate

Grin
bakedpotato · 05/04/2006 10:20

'Even women with terrible PND get the love, joy etc. for some of the time'. Um, no, Caligula, not all of them do. (I didn't.) I'm fairly sure RC had PND.

I liked this piece a lot.

puddle · 05/04/2006 10:23

A friend of mine wrote inside the baby card when my son was born 'Congratulations, you've just been let in on the world's best kept secret' and that is really how I felt (despite a birth not dissmilar to the one described in the article).

I think to be fair on Rachel Cusk she was saying something that felt quite taboo at the time, sadly now it seems that the pendulum has swung too far in that direction.

oliveoil · 05/04/2006 10:24

You are all mad.

WHO THE HELL IS RACHEL CUSK?

bakedpotato · 05/04/2006 10:29

\link{http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1841154873/026-8856537-6467665\RC's A life's work}

oliveoil · 05/04/2006 10:33

she called her daughter Albertine?

saadia · 05/04/2006 10:35

That was a lovely article, really touching. She has a very healthy approach to life I think and I think it's peoples' approach which makes them either enjoy or not enjoy motherhood.

I think you have to accept that sacrifices will have to be made, and you can either do that happily or grudgingly.

FairyMum · 05/04/2006 10:44

Not always Saadnia. It's also peoples circumstances and PND has not got much to do with your approach.

saadia · 05/04/2006 10:48

Yes that's very true Fairymum. I was referring more to those RC-type articles where people regard motherhood itself in such a negative way.

FairyMum · 05/04/2006 10:51

We agree Saadia

Bugsy2 · 05/04/2006 10:54

Article was ok. So she enjoys motherhood, despite a tough birth. That is wonderful for her.
I think the "misery" articles were a relief for some of us, who were very well prepared for our babies arriving, were looking forward to it and then for various reasons found everything went horribly pear-shaped.
It is good to have a balance of articles, because we all have such different experiences. I always feel sad when other mums who have had great experiences think that those of us who found it a real struggle were ill-prepared or not putting our heart into it. Don't think that is often the case at all.

Issyfit · 05/04/2006 10:55

"Parenthood smells funny. It's tough, uneven, dark around the edges; it's also glorious, stimulating and profound."

I agree Eidsvold. This was the best sentence of the article. That is just how parenthood is. And TheWomanWhoseNameIsTooLongTooRememberOrType, there is definitely a completely different perspective by the 5 year point. By then the novelty and cuteness has disappeared, parenting is more complex and (PND aside) more intellecutally and emotionally challenging and yet somehow even more profound than the visceral love you feel for a baby.

And I know it's unbearably gushy, but I experience almost daily a sense of bewildered wonder and exhausted joy that the DDs found us, that we are their parents and that together we are a family.

madmarchhare · 05/04/2006 11:09

Agree with bugsy

dinosaure · 05/04/2006 11:21

A bit over-long, and nothing that struck me as particularly insightful.

And what's wrong with Lionel Shriver?

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