Controlled Crying - stress levels stay high even when babies have learned to settle themselves.

[Codandchops]

OMG!!!

Even worse is that I could not bear to leave my DS as a baby so used to sit in the room and re-settle him every 5 mins. How shit is that? He could see me for 5 mins at a time not comforting him (even though after every 5 mins I did comfort him).

Have always felt an irrational guilt about DS's autism and wonder if I made things worse .

Need to read the research and look at numbers involved.

Jen controlled crying isn't anything like beating.

No Jen babies don't stop crying because they've given up on anybody coming,with cc you go in and comfort.They stop crying because they're knackered and asleep.

I have 3 extremely well adjusted,independent, fab sleepers too soooooooooo.......

the website is the Australian Association of Infant Mental Health, they dont think its good for babies, i would think they know what they are talking about.

and what about the poster who says she has just tried it with her baby and she cried for nearly an hour and threw up twice? if that was your baby would you carry on with cc and think it not harmful?

and its not about stopping stress, some stress is normal, leaving a baby to cry for prolonged periods of time is not normal.

i have 5 extremely well adjusted, independent fab sleepers, without doing cc.

Indeed, it is an old topic, but what it proves is that it has not reached enough parents yet. This story is from 8 years ago, and the evidence has not gone anywhere:
observer.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,6903,1345420,00.html

And for those who find it difficult to accept such a view, I suggest reading the following opinion on guilt and parenting (from a site offering up-to-date scientific research on child rearing): www.evolutionaryparenting.com/the-view-of-guilt/

Can't get the link maya

Sorry, Iäll try again.....
Indeed, it is an old topic, but what it proves is that it has not reached enough parents yet. This story is from 8 years ago, and the evidence has not gone anywhere:
observer.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,6903,1345420,00.html

And for those who find it difficult to accept such a view, I suggest reading the following opinion on guilt and parenting (from a site offering up-to-date scientific research on child rearing): www.evolutionaryparenting.com/the-view-of-guilt/

5madthings that's because all babies a different not all babies sleep well at first and it's teaching them to sleep on their own.....can't believe some people are comparing it to beating a child honestly complete crap!!

it was cerealqueen who posted about her experience of her 6mth old, so old enough to do cc supposedly, what would you do if you think cc is fine carry on despite a baby crying for an hour and vomiting twice?

Sorry babies crying for prolonged periods of time is normal.I used to take my bawling twins out in the buggy to get them off to sleep in their uber cranky pre cc days.Only yesterday on the beach I saw some lady pushing a double buggy with bawling twins in it.Half an hour later and they were still bawling.Colicky babies cry-a lot.

I think a lot of things are good for babies,doesn't make me a medical expert with cast iron proof to back up my theories 5.

I did not say it was equivalent to beating, I was disputing the poster who said:

"Just because you don't like the sound of it and haven't tried it you can't accuse it of being damaging."

I don't need to try CC to be able to use my common sense to say that I believe it is very damaging.

Just like to state that I would never leave my baby in distress, where she is uncontrolably crying. I did cc which is different and think that article is talking about ignoring a distressed child, telling them to shut up etc .
Sorry I wouldn't do that at all, cc is not that extreme if done correctly.

but the poster on the previous page and others have done it 'correctly' and still ended up with horribly upset babies, to the point of them crying so that they vomit, would you really carry on with cc if that was your child and think that is wasnt harmful?

and yes babies cry but leaving them to do so on their own isnt normal, even being pushed in a buggy they are getting some comfort from the motion etc, they are not being left to cry.

Agree with rockpool.
Just don't understand people on here who think its ok to accuse those mums who do cc of damaging their baby. If u haven't had to do it then lovely that's great I put my baby down from day one awake it didn't work as she had reflux till 5 months but like I said at 7 months she was better and a routine was needed but she was so used to sleeping on me that she would wake every hour sometimes to be on me to sleep again. I had to do cc, she now goes to bed at 7 awake and falls asleep alone but all day we have cuddles and fun.

so if you babies had cried and cried until they were sick, as many do with cc, would you have continued?

5 no if my baby was sick from crying I wouldn't have carried on but would tried again following night . To be honest just wanted to say that we are all different and shouldn't slag off mums that do things different to us.

5 you're talking tosh,have you forgotten treading the carpet at 3 in the morning?I know several mothers(myself included) that tried everything and had to escape to the next room for a breather.

A screaming baby is a screaming baby.It doesn't make the slightest bit of difference if it's in a buggy,cot or anywhere.If it's in pain it will still be in pain,if it's over stimulated it will still be.

If it was comforted it would stop which is what happens with cc.You go in,you shush,kiss then leave.They're quiet for a while,get bored or want reassurance so cry out.You go back in and reassure that you're next door,kiss and then leave.After a while they know mummy is next door,it's sleep time and they're knackered so they sleep.

Waaaaay less stressful then screaming with colic/over tiredness at 3 in the morning with a sobbing,resentful mother who quite frankly would happily hand you over to the milkman for half an hour if it gave her some sleep.

birchykel No one HAS to do it. My daughter was up every hour for the first year, every 2-3 hours until she was two and at least ten times per night until she was three and a half when she finally slept through the night and has done since. I had no help with her at all either, before you say it.

seeker I've been told that my opinion is 'a crock of poo' so its just not the CC throwing insults.

Also where has it been said that you should carry on with CC when the child has been sick?

With that link from 2004 I did stop reading at 'Sunderland's book, The Definitive Child Rearing Book, to be published next month'.

no i havent forgotten, my youngest is only 17mths :) and a baby that is crying but being held by its parent or pushed, rocked etc is getting some comfort from that and the fact that they are not alone.

and not all babies stop crying with cc that is the point, they arent all comforted easily wiht a shushh and a kiss or even a cuddle, they dont stop and go quiet or get bored some just cry and cry that is the point. yours didnt, great for you but some do and in those circumstances i do think that yes it can be harmful.

birchykel yes we are all different, as are babies and a baby that cries to the point of vomiting one night is likely to do so again the next tbh, i dont know how many nights you could repeat that process but we did one with ds1 and that was MORE than enough.

jenrose so because you coped with the lack of sleep, everyone else does?

Like I've said before different methods work for different children, no-one is forced to do it one way.

Jen errrr I had to do as after throwing cushions round the room I told dp if I didn't get some sleep one of the twins would be next and he should seriously consider ringing ss and jack in his job as I was too exhausted to drive,buy food,look after the twins,eat, do the washing,was starting to resent them,was actually concerned that I was going to drop one etc,etc.To make it brief I needed some f*ing sleep.

3 nights later and I had 2 uber chilled,happy babies and I got in the car and drove to a baby group.