Child guru says nurseries harm small children

[flashingnose]

oh dear

Sorry, that was 'I don't think it's wrong or arrogant.' But I do find it pointless. I also don't appreciate the gender stereotyping.

where was the gender stereotyping? I thought he refered to parents.

well I don't know about that expat
I mean, we now have a much improved (not perfcet) system of mat leave, in the face of strong opposition and lobbying from employers. social change is possible.

I agree with HC - he's trying to influence social policy towards giving more choice to parents. Got to be a good thing, surely?

Educational achievement has nothing to do with the point he's making. It's the child's social and emotional development that's at stake - ironically the very area that I've heard a lot of people use as a justification for sending tinies to nursery.

But at the end of the day, the policies favour the parents going back to work before the kid is one. SMP is only £104/week. Who can live on that?

I must say I have always found his writings to be mercifully free of gender stereotyping
(I am a bit of a fan btw...)

If he is really trying to change government/social policies, then he needs to do more - to make sure parents have options - ALL the options.

Still thing his book may have more to do with it though.

But he does make people feel guilty and he won't chane this economy which could not function if all mums or dads became full time carers.

As for agressionn. In Ds's school the kids who are agressive are the one's who have not been to nursery and I do mean agressive. I suspect that all aspects of child rearing have not been considered.

ewll quite expat, so maybe more change is needed to give more choice, rather than passive acceptance of the status quo?
if he really believes that the status quo is causing harm - and I don't know about that, but it seems he does - then good for him for sticking his head above the parapet

Well, he's not a government minister is he? He's written a book, based on several years of research, which may well influence government policy. It's not his job to formulate policy, nor is it his fault that the policies in place make it so difficult for parents to stay at home with their young children if they want to.

I agree the there should be ore help to enable people to stay at home if they want too, definitely. But it shouln't have to be either/or. Doesn't need the guilt trips on both sides that are always banded around. there is NO right or wrong way IMO - no two families are thee same. What is right for one is not always right for another.

Everyone should be able to make that choice for themselves, and not been penalised over the toher for doing what suits them best. But that is in an ideal world, and there is no such thing

I should stop this part-time writing gig I've got going just now and write a big book stating the obvious, get some suckers to buy it, and get rich enough to afford to stay home and turn out babies .

well of course his book has a lot to do with it, yes
but who are we do judge if he genuinely believes it or not?

I'm quite happy to believe he believes it but I don't care really what he believes cos as someone else said he can't know what is best for your individual family situation.

You can't insist that someone doesn't say something because it makes others feel guilty.

absolutely colditz

why not? some people insist others not say, draw, write or print things b/c they find it insulting .

So is it best to never point out that what we are doing to our children may be harming them? Better to have harmed children than parents who feel gulty?

I am not saying nurseries do any harm, I don't know enough about them to say, I am not an expert, but I know this. We should not be putting parent's feelings above a child's welfare. If a few parent's feelings get hurt, if a few parents feel guilty, it's tough. We all want what is best for our kids, sometimes that means hearing something you don't want to hear.

If Stephen Biddulph is wrong, you can be sure the papers will jump in to rip him to shreds the minute the evidence is available, I can just see the headlines, "Discredited Childcare Expert Forced To Eat Words!!!".

Then I am sure a few SAHM's will moan that whoever is discrediting Stephen Biddulph is making them feel guilty, so they shouldn't say it.

I should parp myself off this thread right now!!!

lol at your recent posts, expat!

I agree with all that hercules and spidermama have said.

And, tbh, I don't expect any help from anyone (incl government) to enable me to be a SAHP - I make my choices and I deal with them, I cut my cloth according to my purse and that's all there is to it. IMO, it is nobody else's responsibility to support my decisions around having children and how they are cared for. I don't expect hand outs from anybody.

no one should write, say, print or draw anything that someone else may find insulting . it's insensitive, racist and fascist .

I get a vague nation that you are being flippant, Expat...

i agree with spidermama. The government is openly hell bent on getting mothers back to work as soon as possible, and not helping people have children one bit. I think many [not all of course] mothers would prefer to stay at home, but the government makes it so bloody difficult. And we all go along with it so why should they care? There should be an organisation for this.