If you were Mark Oaten

[bakedpotato]

and had done what he did, why on earth would you
a/ stand for the leadership
and
b/ invite the press to witness a family breakfast?

Which would I prefer if I was his wife? I think both would be horrific.

Obviously.

But with an affair they are more likely to have an emotional hold on the person.

But with rent boys, I think that its more the thrill that turns them on, and paying for it.
I think the person who pays for it,will find it very hard to give it up. More addictive than a "Plain" affair

I think I would marginally prefer a conventional "affair" to my husband paying prostitutes for sex. It seems less animal somehow. But either would be disgusting, and heartbreaking.

moomin, how funny - my first thought was the little britain sketch

The NOTW must have been over the moon when they found him out. Sounded like they had been generally staking out rent boys to see if they could catch a big fish.

As much as my sympathies are with his family, I think it is sad that he resorted to paying for gay sex rather than opening up to his family about it (if his wife is to be believed and she had absolutely no idea). Politicians, what a lovely lot they are.

I think adultery or homosexuality is not on the whole a political issue (though sometimes it is). But prostitution most definitely is.

Do you think the number of sordid things that are revealed about celebrities and MPs and the like are representative of the population as a whole? It staggers me how many people are revealed to be closet homosexuals (while supposedly happily married) or who visit prostitutes/rent boys or who have affairs with their nannies/secretaries/bosses or who indulge in odd sexual practices or who just sleep with more than one partner at once. Is this really what a fair proprortion of us are up to? My (innocent, I admit it) mind boggles.

This is what Mark Oaten had to say about legalising brothels...

The party's home affairs spokesman, Mark Oaten, said the government plans would do "very little" to reduce the number of prostitutes on the street.

Mark Oaten
Mr Oaten believes in so-called managed prostitution zones

""We support the piloting of managed zones in designated areas of cities, subject to a code of conduct and regular contact with police and health workers.

The object of these zones is not to tolerate prostitution but to move it to a specified area where professionals can work with prostitutes to help them reach a point where they can choose other employment.

The example of Liverpool shows that the idea is effective, and that plans for a zone can be drawn up without alienating businesses or local people.""

Message withdrawn

I am anti any of it, but I suppose you could argue that a protitute is just sex whereas an affair might mean there is some emotional involvement. But don't let dh read I said this!

I can see that argument LM. But I think I would find it easier to believe that dh was still a normal feeling human being who just didn't love ME any more, than that he was the sort of foul mutant who pays unfortunate low-lives to perform sex acts on him. It's a marginal preference

LM, I was talking about that subject with my psychologist son. It was after a top consultant at the hospital where ds works was caught in a local brothel. Ds said it's actually quite common behaviour with high achievers, because they've usually had to be risk takers to get where they are in life. They see taking sexual risks as an extension of that. High-achieving men often have high sex drives as well, which compounds the issue. Not sure if I'd describe MO as a high achiever, though!

Yeah I know what you mean! I don't know I agree though. Looking at it from the point of view of trying to keep my relationship going, I think I would find it easier to keep going after dh had been with a protitute (much as I would despise him for doing that) than I would if he had fallen for another woman and carried on with her behind my back.

There is a sort of functionality about prostitutes, but affairs result from total disloyalty and a complete lack of regard for the spouse, which I would find harder to deal with.

Sorry, my comment was to MOM.

I don't see it so much as risk taking. It is just a complete lack of morality!

I'd rather dh had a fleeting affair with some normal woman than he paid male prostitutes to poo on him. I could get over the first scenario, I think, but never the second. It would haunt my every thought and I could certainly never have sex with him again. eeek.

Hmm. I think it's the "functional" aspect of prostitutes that makes me feel so sick. I could probably forgive dh falling in love with someone else, hurtful though it would be. I wouldn't stay with him, but I would probably be able to forgive it eventually. However if I found out he had been using prostitutes in a "functional", emotionless sense - effectively using human beings the way one uses a toilet - then I wold know that I had made a mistake and married a stranger, not the man I thought I knew!!

It is very Little Britain isn't it? His poor wife and children. He must have just been deluded enough to think it wouldn't come out. Ewww.

Oh well, if it was a male prostitute, obviously that would be very different. It would show me that dh was definitely not the man I married. (Even though I know there are some people who claim to be bisexual, I tend to beliveve you are either one or another.)

The prostitute's gender wouldn't make much difference to me LM (although I would be a bit put out to learn that he liked boys!). The disgusting animal amorality of the whole episode would eclipse everything else for me. Using a person as a public facility is just abhorrent, cynical and shows a total disrespect for himself, his wife and human beings generally. Ugh.

Dd1 is now telling me that Popbitch reported all this on Thurs and the 'unspeakable acts' included taking soiled underwear home.

Message withdrawn

I think the fact that he is married with kids makes it dreadful otherwise if he was free and single I wouldn't give 2 hoots

It's the risk-taking behavior that bothers me; if he takes risks like that in his private life I think his judgement is generally unreliable or prone to be very bad if he's under too much stress.
I would feel still feel ok if he were my constituency MP, maybe ok as spokesperson on various issues... but not acceptable as a potential member of govt. or leader of the party.

It's the risk-taking behavior that bothers me; if he takes risks like that in his private life I think his judgement is generally unreliable or prone to be very bad if he's under too much stress.
I would feel still feel ok if he were my constituency MP, maybe ok as spokesperson on various issues... but not acceptable as a potential member of govt. or leader of the party.

oops!
Is there a picture, btw, of his "stunning" wife anywhere? Can't find one, am very nosy...

He looks like someone who'd hire a rent boy.

Man, that's embarrassing.