People feeling under pressure to wear a poppy.

[schroeder]

Yesterday on the bbc news a very interesting conversation about the increasing pressure people feel to wear a poppy seemed about to start, but was cut short. It was something to do with football shirts I think.

I feel this is a conversation that should be had. I work with the public and feel uncomfortable every year when it is expected of me to wear one.

It's not the wearing so much that bothers me, but that in doing so I am supporting a charity I would not support otherwise.
Surely we should not all feel forced to give to this charity whether we like it or not?
I do not think even the British legion woud want poppies to be compulsary?

Haven't read the whole thread, so don't know if this has been mentioned (not reflected in the comments I've seen if so) but there was an interesting, quite moving, article about this by Robert Fisk in the Independent at the weekend. I'd recommend to all, for a different perspective.

www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/fisk/robert-fisk-do-those-who-flaunt-the-poppy-on-their-lapels-know-that-they-mock-the-war-dead-6257416.html

I have bought 2 poppies this year - DS2 ate the first one and DS1 wanted to wear the second so I look as if I'm not wearing one when I have donated twice, and will do again when I next pass someone selling them. I think the elderly gentleman selling the poppies in Ikea on Saturday did a wonderful job of explaining to our 4yr old what the poppies stood for without sensationalising or guilt tripping. No one has ever said anything about the absence of a poppy on my coat - I think there ought to be an exemption for parents of toddlers anyway!

I think I've expressed my views quite reasonably and don't feel any need to rephrase them.
They are quite simple to understand.
Basically I think war is sad and a terrible waste of resources including human life.

As a child I wore a poppy to remember those (including those in my extended family) who had died in the wars.
As an adult I personally feel the issues are more complicated. So, I choose not to wear one.

I look at the old service men who sell poppies and I imagine them as young men. I imagine the hell they went through to give us and our children the choice of wearing a poppy or not.
I feel proud to wear one. It's nothing to do with being British for me. It's about respecting what others did for their country and future generations.
I would be ashamed to be seen without one.
It's your choice though op. I do admit to silently judging people who don't wear them, that's my choice though and it's thanks to those old soldiers that we can make these choices.

TwoIfBySea - not sure why you feel the need to bring Blair into it. Anymore than if I threw in a sentence or two about Churchill, or Bush, or any of the british leaders royals who thought that that Hitler chappie was probably onto rather a good thing.

The point some of us have been trying to make is that we should remove the political issues, just from this one occasion and see it's about the the people who really suffered, both during and after the war.

Politically i am completely at odds with the British Legion, but that has nothing to do with Remembrance Sunday for me.

Yes, I think it is all very sad.

It's also a little sad when people show so little respect for others views.

But, of course, nothing in comparison.

Hmm, not sure how this thread will go but certainly my children feel pressured to wear a poppy at school. Often other kids are sent round to collect money and give out poppies and teachers remind children to bring money in.

Now I don't agree with children, esp primary school children, being told they HAVE to support a certain charity. It's like the shoebox appeal, some children get housepoints if they bring in a filled shoebox. It's not fair and I think children should be allowed to make up their own minds.

My brother was a soldier and lost many of his friends in Northern Ireland. He now raises money for Combat Stress. I don't think he wears a poppy as he finds the reminder of war distressing.

I don't mind supporting charities, but I will not wear a huge badge that tells people who I support. I have no wish to walk around wearing a poppy and yet has anyone tried just giving them money and politely refusing the poppy? It doesn't go down too well at all! I won't wear the white poppy as this is too contraversial, but I am fully against war, I was involved in the march against the war in Iraq and organised my own local march too. I disagreed with the use of daisy cutters in civilian areas and as controversial as this sounds, I think that injuried soldiers and their families are well looked after compared to the families of injured soldiers and civilians in Afganistan and Iraq and yes, the poppy money goes to ALL soldiers and is no longer just a reminder of WW1.

So whilst I am happy to make a contribution, I also make sure that I support a charity that works in those other countries too and I will not wear any symbol of war.

I usually give to the appeal, but don't wear the poppy. Same as I don't wear the receipt for any other donation on my lapel.

I wear my poppy from today until Sunday, as I do every year. I buy one pretty much every day as I wear one behind my capbadge and one on my lapel - DD or the dog tend to steal the lapel one.

I wear it for many reasons:

1. Because I am ordered to - as I should be - and I am happy to be.
2. To remember the brave men and women from WW1 and WW2 who gave their yesterday for my today.
3. To put funds in the coffers of a worthwhile cause.
4. To support the disabled ex service men and women, and their dependants that are employed to make the poppies.
5. To say thankyou to the RBL for their support of my friends who have been injured, both during conflict and whilst simply serving back home and to repay a percentage of their donation
6. To say thankyou to the RBL for their support of the bereaved families of deceased servicemen and to repay a percentage of their donation.
7. To say thankyou to the RBL, and as pay back for the support I received after I was injured.
8. To ensure continuing support of the elderly wives of the WW1 and WW2 soldiers - many of whom are in assisted care facilities with the RBL picking up the bill.

I shall attend a Remembrance Service, as will my DH and DD. I shall bow my head in honour of those men and women who did not make it home - from every conflict. I will cry during the reading of 'In Flanders Fields', during the last post, and during the silence remembering lost mates - as I do every year.

I shall continue to be pissed off with a Government that involves us in every conflict, then cuts our strength until we are on our knees - but I will continue to honour the contract I signed to support them.

I will never judge a person I see who does not wear a poppy. They may have forgotten it, or lost it, or simply not buy one. As is their right. I will save my disgust for those that admit to, post about or say they wont wear one for completely spurrious reasons. As is my right.

i thought the poppys were to raise the money and the silence was for the respect and to remember those service men and woman?!
I think you will always have a divide of those that will, those that wont, and some who dont really care either way.
I love how those that dont support war by buying a poppy are all classed as naive

The money the RBL collects here in Belgium (and Flanders to be precise) goes to help the widows of those from WW11; pays their bills in some cases, means they get support where and when they need it, and generally does good work.

The RBL in UK provides jobs for disabled service personnel who make the poppies and again, provides support for injured service personnel and their families.

I wear one because I am a military daughter, wife and sister and thankful that my family have always come back; but also because I am grateful that people in the 40s fought for freedom, and that I still have it today.

It's the one charity that I seek out to give to every November. I have no problem wearing the poppy either, it just doesn't stay on with those wretched pins. I'm gong to make some poppy brooches for next year.

@Stigmata: "not sure what you meant, that wearing a ribbon would be smug thing to do? Or you don't have anyone to remember?"

Sorry, I expressed that really badly. I do have someone to remember, but I do also feel that wearing a ribbon would be smug. I ought to make it clear that I don't think everyone who wears a ribbon is smug - for some people it's just a way of showing that they care, that they think the issue is important or whatever. But I think for some people it is a way of saying 'Ooh, look at me, aren't I virtuous?' Also, there's another issue there for me, which is the "pinkification" of breast cancer - breast cancer is a horrible disease, the treatment for it is vicious, and I just can't stand the way that the publicity has all become so pretty. I also dislike the idea of "raising awareness" about breast cancer - as if there's anyone left who isn't aware of it.

Sorry, that was a rant that had nothing to do with poppies, and probably an issue for a whole other thread.

About the "hysterical" thing, I did feel that calling people "dense" simply because they had a different opinion from you was a bit hysterical, so feel free to defend yourself belligerently. I'm going to run and hide:-)

I don't get the statement that a poppy is a symbol of war.
I think that a red poppy is a symbol of those who gave their lives. I don't think that my great uncles wanted to go off and fight in 1914, they had no choice. My father didn't get a choice in WW2. I am very thankful that my DCs do get a choice-and even if they did join the forces, they wouldn't be aiming to go to war in anything other than a peacekeeping way.

I would be interested to hear what the "spurious reasons" might be. Is mine a spurious reason?

And does everyone still think that the poppy symbolises the world wars or are there those who think that poppies now also symbolise recent conflicts? Because before Iraq, I did think that poppies were to honour the dead of the world wars but now I think that they have more to do with recent conflicts, which I do not support.

My dad fought in WWII in the navy. I think he had a bad time but he never, ever, spoke about it. His brother was killed when his ship was sunk.

My dad never wore a poppy and never joined the British Legion. He said that the "flag waving and marching was done by the survivors".

In his memory and that of his brother I don't wear a poppy either.

I made a contribution and have a poppy, but don't wear it. It does seem to be a "thing" for every person who appears in the public domain to wear one, whether or not they actually understand the history or the reasons for it. Which is tragic.

Why does wearing a piece of cardboard and some plastic make you remember better, or understand the background betteR?

I would honour any war dead. It symbolises all conflicts.

I think the more recent wars have definitely hijacked the poppy as a symbol. No one should feel pressured to do anything imo I doubt the numpty tv presenters wearing them have given the dead as much thought as some of teh non wearers on this thread

I wear a poppy because I am pathetic. At 37 years old, whilst I am neither privileged nor rich, I have never known what true hardship is. Like 99% of my generation, I have never been without food or electricity, clothes or some luxuries. My life has never been threatened and I have been able to express my thoughts freely. Other people have given me this life; people (soldiers and civilians) who have died in wars (all of them) that they may not have supported but who realised that freedom and not just petty liberal politics was threatened. They gave me this life of self-indulgence and for that, we should all piut aside our petty beliefs and remember those from all sides, from all countries and races and creeds that gave us this life.

I wear a poppy because I am pathetic. I know that if I was called upon to fight for my freedom and that of my children, to have to let my loved ones go to fight, to have to do jobs for my country like our grandmothers did whilst waiting for the telegram or letter about our husbands/partners lives, or indeed, like today's soldier's wives/partners/children have to face, I don't know that I would have the strength to do it. I cannot say that I wouldn't crumble into a pit of self-indulgent pity.

I wear a poppy because I am a coward. But if I can show, in this small way by wearing a small symbol, my unending respect for those in direct comparison to me, I will do so. This is not really about politics or belief as to the rights and wrongs of war. It is not about being nationalistic. It is about showing a shared national AND international remembrance and recognition of all those people, soldiers and civilians, who died or were maimed for our sake. It is about showing a unity, a determination that war should be avoided and that ALL lives lost are precious.

People have used symbols for millennia. Of course, not using a symbol does not necessarily equal disrespect but using a symbol demonstrates a shared experience; a common feeling within society. The symbol of the poppy should be a shared statement of thE experience of REMEMBRANCE. It is not a show of fashion or smug self-serving giving. Nor should not wearing one be a badge of political honour or a way to make a personal point. It is simple symbol, a sign of respect. It is far too little to ask.

Put your personal politics aside and wear a poppy just to REMEMBER them - because this is NOT about YOU.

I don't. I'd rather not fund subsidised pubs.

You can remember and honour the dead without funding a particular charity with it's own agenda.

They did nothing for me when I was effectively orphaned by my mum going to the first Gulf war. Apparently they "aren't there to help children".

They run subsidised pubs .

noddy that is very true, the fact that so many have participated on this thread with different views shows that far from merely ignoring the subject, many people have given a great deal of thought about their decision and therefore, even if you disagree with it, you should respect it.

pink, nice sentiments but I disagree. You can remember without needing to wear a poppy and tbh those conditions you describe are the conditions that many families now face in Afghanistan and Iraq. There are families there who receive no governmental help and who cannot fend for themselves because their husbands and fathers have been killed in conflicts or have returned terribly injured. They won't get a grant to enable them to adapt their homes, they won't get a pension or any kind of benefits. I think we are the lucky ones and yes I do remember those young men whose lives have been cut short, who have shown remarkable bravery in trying to help others and who have suffered terrible injuries. But I also remember those other men caught up in it all - who will wear a poppy for them?

The thing I don't like is the side taking. This really isn't about the world wars as there are few survivors of those left so the money raised now goes towards helping the survivors of recent conflicts and I don't want to show my support one way or the other.

If you want to donate but don't want to wear the symbol, that is a decision that I believe should be respected. I don't appreciate being made to feel guilty for not wanting to show the world that I supported the RBL.