People feeling under pressure to wear a poppy.

[schroeder]

Yesterday on the bbc news a very interesting conversation about the increasing pressure people feel to wear a poppy seemed about to start, but was cut short. It was something to do with football shirts I think.

I feel this is a conversation that should be had. I work with the public and feel uncomfortable every year when it is expected of me to wear one.

It's not the wearing so much that bothers me, but that in doing so I am supporting a charity I would not support otherwise.
Surely we should not all feel forced to give to this charity whether we like it or not?
I do not think even the British legion woud want poppies to be compulsary?

Lots of people quietly do all sorts of things for charity etc and you would never know and you can't tell by looking at them.

I don't wear a poppy because ds's great-grandfather was a fairly senior member of the Japanese military. Is that reasonable? I do put money in the box though.

Yes I hum though the two mintues silence don't be daft. I'm sad that people lost there life's, of course no one should die.
But you will never ever hear me say wars are sometimes needed! If everyone refused to fight, then there could be no wars, but while people are still willing to kill others for power and control and while governments pour huge amounts of money into killing others, then no I will not buy a poppy, I do not support our men and woman of the forces and just feel very sad that people lost their life

I've never really thought where the money goes to really, I just wear one for remembrance, which was the original meaning.
But it's choice, nobody you feel obliged to.

Oh yes exoticfruits, its like those FB chains "like this if you are against child abuse/help the fight against cancer by posting a tawdry poem" yuk.

Ps, sorry for twatphone echo.

For me the thing is that we don't forget what happened and learn for the future. Unfortunately that doesn't seem to be happening. Remembrance is NOT just about the slain, it's about those maimed physically and mentally in ways which affected the rest of their lives.

@knitknack: "Just don't wear one if you genuinely don't feel thankful for the millions and millions of men that gave their lives so that you could live yours."

This is precisely the kind of comment that sums up all that's wrong with the debate, imho. I do feel thankful for the millions of men who gave their lives in WW1 and WW2 - indeed I had relatives who were killed in action in WW2. However, I don't see that wearing a poppy makes any difference at all to them. There was a time when poppy money went to improve the lives of servicemen who had been injured in both world wars, but as they're now nearly all dead, the money seems to go to people injured in Iraq and Afghanistan, wars that I didn't support and that were waged against people who have done us no harm.

I think Robert Fisk has a good summing up of the anti-poppy argument here:

www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/fisk/robert-fisk-do-those-who-flaunt-the-poppy-on-their-lapels-know-that-they-mock-the-war-dead-6257416.html

My grandfather left a quiet sheltered life in South Australia and spent 2 years in Flanders in the hellish conditions of the trenches. By some miracle he survived and lived to his 90s. The war was one of the defining experiences of his life and in his last few years he started to talk about it extensively to his grandchildren.
I wear a poppy in his memory and in memory of all those beautiful young men who did not come back.

I wear a poppy for service men and women who have lost their lives, the families who suffer loss and service men and women that are injured. It's not political, it's not for 'the military', it's not in agreement of conflict. It's so that people that are affected can see I care.

All people opposed to poppies (and some I may add I am entirely not surprised) do you also not give money to African charities because it's their fault, through war and corruption, that they are poor? Or is it just the low paid, living on the poverty line with no choice British people you couldn't give a shit about.

Is it tough shit for joining up that their legs got blown off in Iraq and so suffer?

Honestly, it's pretty disgusting.

Why would you not want to give a few pence (as little as you like) to a charity that remembers those who have died and supports people who have been affected by wars? It's hardly onerous to wear a poppy as a outward symbol of respect for those who died so that we can have the freedom to sit on our backsides and post our mostly insignificant thoughts often about fairly unimportant subjects. I don't like the whole idea of war but it's happened and I can't do anything about that but I can show a sign of respect to those who were directly involved. Wearing a poppy and giving a few pence is not a lot to ask, is it? Would you argue that with the paraplegic soldier who served in Afghanistan (a bloke up the road here) or the WWII veteran who still wakes in the night with the sound of his friend's last screams in a Japanese POW camp (like my childhood neighbour)? Life needs perspective and moaning about pressure to wear a poppy at the side of people who have REALLY seen war is just a little bit.....

I've never had to think about it, not living in the UK.

But DS's grand father (my FIL) and great grand father (my grand dad) both fought in WWII, in Italy. On different sides.

Which would leave me in a bit of a quandary. I guess we'd have to do something that recoginsed the losses on all sides with equal wieght.

What a load of self-indulgent tosh! This isn't about you. Wear a poppy, don't wear a poppy why all the hand wringing about "other people"?

I wear one as my dad was in the RAF during WW2 & as a teenager saw many friends die. These were honourable men. I despair when the memorials are defaced. I'll wear my poppy with pride, I'm not bothered if your wear one or not.

What a load of self-indulgent tosh! This isn't about you. Wear a poppy, don't wear a poppy why all the hand wringing about "other people"?

I wear one as my dad was in the RAF during WW2 & as a teenager saw many friends die. These were honourable men. I despair when the memorials are defaced. I'll wear my poppy with pride, I'm not bothered if your wear one or not.

I give to the poppy appeal but I don't wear the poppy. It goes against my feelings about conspicuous consumption. People can think of me what they like.

I've heard people who keep the same poppy and dust it off to wear every year.

A friend even has a knitted poppy which has swarovski crystals on it, which she paid a lot of money to a designer for, which she wears with pride this time of year. ugh.

" If everyone refused to fight, then there could be no wars, but while people are still willing to kill others for power and control..."

That is spectacularly naive.

Are u serious? Your comparing African people with no food, house, and no clean water to the service me in the uk?

I wear one cos my three maternal great uncles died in the war or as a result of POW camp treatment soon after in one case. Ironically my mothers side are Irish and the family were only living in the UK with their sons who ended up dying serving the British army because my Great GPs had brought them over hear to escape poverty oppression etc etc caused by the occupation of - yes you've guessed it - the British army [ironic]. Otherwise they would have no doubt spent their (much longer I would think) lives in Ireland working the family farm etc etc as Ireland of course remained neutral in the war. It is a very complex and emotive subject but I do absolutely agree that it should be a gesture of free choice. It reminds me of that saying 'I dont agree with what you are saying but will defend to the death your right to say it' (or whatever it is - ilk)

I'm comparing the moral judgement of charity. Do you not think that morality of war is not the point of the poppy? The point of the poppy is to help people.

@PosiesOfPoison: "The point of the poppy is to help people."

Or is it to advertise what a great, caring person you are? I donate to many charities through direct debit but I don't go round wearing a sign saying "Look at me! I care about blind people/disabled people/hungry people in Africa."

In the past, I've always worn a poppy (until the darn thing fell off, anyway, which was usually after about five minutes) but I don't think I will this year.

It's a huge publicity stunt. I do give a little but don't wear a poppy because I don't want to shout out: Look everyone, I have given to charity! I am a good person!

The British Legion is a good charity, like any other and they do worthy things. I don't quite understand though why it needs to be such a big event, and why we need to give so much to remember those who died in the wars.

All other charities support causes that are just as worthy but don't get as much publicity. Different people feel more strongly about different charities and give accordingly and that's how it should be. I don't see how the British Legion is more worthy and important than everyone else?