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Original poster

People feeling under pressure to wear a poppy.

361 replies

schroeder · 06/11/2011 14:29

Yesterday on the bbc news a very interesting conversation about the increasing pressure people feel to wear a poppy seemed about to start, but was cut short. It was something to do with football shirts I think.

I feel this is a conversation that should be had. I work with the public and feel uncomfortable every year when it is expected of me to wear one.

It's not the wearing so much that bothers me, but that in doing so I am supporting a charity I would not support otherwise.
Surely we should not all feel forced to give to this charity whether we like it or not?
I do not think even the British legion woud want poppies to be compulsary?

OP posts:
coldwed · 07/11/2011 05:49

Never worn one and never will.

CheerfulYank · 07/11/2011 05:52

I was going to say something but then Stigmata said it a lot better. So there you are. :)

differentnameforthis · 07/11/2011 06:35

Because it is in support of the military

The same old (wrong) argument every year!!

The poppy was chosen as a memorial symbol of the World wars, because they grew in the most notorious battlefields of WW1. And it is thought that the expanse of red represented the blood lost in battle.

They DO NOT support the military. They show that we remember that our forefathers (people like my daughter's grandfather) fought to keep us safe & give us freedom to live the way we do.

To me it is a symbol of respect, a gesture that says thank you to hundreds who lost their lives, and hundreds more who came home, leaving friends & family behind.

Wear one, or don't wear one. That is your choice. I don't, but that is mainly because unless I travel into the city, I can't get them here (Australia). But each year my best friend in the UK buys 4 for me, dh & our 2 dds.

I have never seen anyone being forced to wear one & don't agree that we are put under pressure to do so.

libelulle · 07/11/2011 06:36

As soon as someone tells you (upthread) that if you choose not to wear a poppy you are apparently saying you'd prefer to live under a dictatorship, that tells you all you need to know about the social pressure to wear a poppy. And the fact that someone can say that without any sense of irony has me wanting to hold my head in my hands and weep.

Atomant · 07/11/2011 06:40

It's about remembering the dead.

My great grandfather died in Ypres age 24 and was buried in a mass grave. There were millions like him.

you have 364 other days in the year to protest (or 11 other months) about whether you want to wear one or not. Do something about it then.

If my employer FORCED me to do something that strongly went against my belief system I'd find another job.

I'm not a supporter of war. Any war.

AlpinePony · 07/11/2011 06:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

Atomant · 07/11/2011 06:58

...and I meant to add, I always wear a poppy and personally I think 60 seconds one day of the year is not too much to ask.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 07/11/2011 07:03

The compulsion to wear a poppy is almost all peer pressure and not a mandatory or legal requirement. If you object to the pressure then you are really objecting to the weight of public opinion on a uniquely emotional and personal subject i.e. the nation's fallen, both military and civillian, of wars going back over 100 years.

Don't participate by all means, but do expect raised eyebrows as most others will not understand or agree with you.

Stigmata · 07/11/2011 07:06

I think, from a very slight comment made by the OP, that it may be in part because she or a side of her family were on another side in one of the wars, which I can understand would make you very uncomfortable at this time of year... but am not sure if that is an inflammatory thing to say. It must colour your perception of it all.

I will be honest and say I think of those left behind on both sides of the line.. there were many many soldiers/families caught up in the carnage in Germany, Italy etc too.. (just using WWII as an example), so I don't necessarily see that as an issue. Again, it's only an issue if you allow the red-top papers and similar to hijack its meaning.

EdithWeston · 07/11/2011 07:25

The importance of the freedom to wear a poppy or not is important, and has been described eloquently unthread.

Wearing a white poppy is however a deliberate insult. It arose solely as a reaction to the Poppy campaign, when the organisers of the No More War Movement (current slogan "there are better ways to solving conflict than killing strangers") asked for the wording on the black stud in the centre of a poppy to be replaced with "No More War"; RBL declined. White poppy launched.

To tote the symbol of an actively opposing organisation on the Day of National Commemoration (especially if you have read some of their other, um, illuminating statements) is at best the height of bad taste. It's on the same level as picketing a funeral.

EdithWeston · 07/11/2011 07:31

BTw: the white poppy was not introduced in 1935 - it was 1926.

lisad123 · 07/11/2011 07:33

Tbh I don't wear a poppy and never have and never will. I don't agree with war full stop no matter who it was and sick of everyone trying to build bigger better machines to kill each other with Sad

What gets me is how they come into school!! Children feel pressured into buying them, if their parents wanted then to wear one, they would buy them for them!

SoupDragon · 07/11/2011 07:37

So, people are no longer allowed to explain why poppies should be worn because that puts poor delicate souls who believe otherwise under perssure?

SoupDragon · 07/11/2011 07:42

"don't agree with war full stop"

Poppies aren't about war they are about those who lost their lives fighting in them. Do the people who don't agree with poppies also hum their way through the silence?

I don't agree with war but sometimes it is necessary. What do you imagine your life would have been like had countries not fought the war against Hitler, for example? Some wars are less necessary.

When the Last Post plays at the start or end of the two minute silence, it makes me cry for all the lost potential, the horror and the pain suffered by all involved. That is why I buy a poppy. The charity doesn't fund war, it supports the survivors. is a difference.

exoticfruits · 07/11/2011 07:43

I wear a white poppy because I am a pacifist.

And those who wear red ones are not? Hmm

lovecat · 07/11/2011 07:55

Wearing my own poppy isn't something I think about too deeply, like someone else on the thread said, I buy one on autopilot and then lose it within a day or so (have got a sticky one this year, it might actually stay on...).

Which in itself is pretty crap because it's supposed to be about remembrance, no?

However, I confess to being really taken aback when someone on the X-factor thread said they were angry because Tulisa wasn't wearing a poppy (she was, just on a ring that they hadn't seen). Angry? Because someone you don't know and will probably never meet wasn't wearing a bit of paper/cloth/plastic?

Some of the comments on this thread just go to prove the OP's point. :(

exoticfruits · 07/11/2011 08:03

Maybe Tulisa had given money. I hate the fact that you don't do something unless you are seen to do it these days!

OracleInaCoracle · 07/11/2011 08:18

Soupy, by all means explain (although I suspect that most people already know the symbolism behind the poppy) but people are entitled to not want to wear them if they want to without being called spiteful, self-centred twats, or being told that they would be happier living in a dictatorship.

I have a huge amount of rtespect for the forces, past and present. 2 db's have fought in afghanistan and dh was going into the raf this time last year. I donate. I attend the rememberance service. I observe the silence. I just don't see the need to wear a badge confirming it. There are different ways to show respect, one is to accept that everyone is different.

OracleInaCoracle · 07/11/2011 08:18

Soupy, by all means explain (although I suspect that most people already know the symbolism behind the poppy) but people are entitled to not want to wear them if they want to without being called spiteful, self-centred twats, or being told that they would be happier living in a dictatorship.

I have a huge amount of rtespect for the forces, past and present. 2 db's have fought in afghanistan and dh was going into the raf this time last year. I donate. I attend the rememberance service. I observe the silence. I just don't see the need to wear a badge confirming it. There are different ways to show respect, one is to accept that everyone is different.

OracleInaCoracle · 07/11/2011 08:20

Exoticfruits - yep, me too.

OracleInaCoracle · 07/11/2011 08:20

Exoticfruits - yep, me too.

mayorquimby · 07/11/2011 08:20

"So all of you right on people who don't want to wear a poppy would presumably be delighted to live in a fascist state, and a world where every single Jewish / disabled / homosexual person has been murdered then?"

pretty much yes. Much better. stars > poppies

OracleInaCoracle · 07/11/2011 08:22

Exoticfruits - yep, me too. Reminds me of phoebes "good deed" in friends.

OracleInaCoracle · 07/11/2011 08:22

Exoticfruits - yep, me too. Reminds me of phoebes "good deed" in friends.

exoticfruits · 07/11/2011 08:25

These days you have to be seen. e.g. you can't grieve unless you are seen to grieve.