Working mums: new study finds going out to work has no harmful effect on small children

[HelenMumsnet]

Hello. We've just had the heads-up on this study suggesting that there are no significant detrimental effects on a child's social or emotional development if her or his mother works during her or his early years.

In fact, young girls may even gain from being in a household where their mother works, say researchers at University College London, in a UK-wide project funded by the Economic and Social Research Council.

These findings run counter to those of some previous studies, which have suggested that children whose mother works in the first year of their life may be more prone to bad behaviour, or even to be more overweight.

What do you think? Do the new findings surprise you? Or confirm what you already knew? Do tell...

Great - I'll be getting phone calls from ex SAHM family members and the working mothers in my family and friends saying that I've damaged two out of three of our DC .

When I do get back to work, hopefully when youngest starts school, I'll still be in the wrong.

I can see having less financial worries would benefit DC, and I've seen childcare settings that have had very positive impacts of DC I know - but really more headlines pitting different choices against each other.

It does seem that parents can't be allowed to look at their situations and left to act in their families best interests without a bunch of experts judging - because all DC and family set ups are the same obviously.

so what if you receive such a call are you happy with your decisions?
dont live life vicariously, and dont sweat it if someone else doesnt get your plans. i have heard every precious moment mama quip, and the beat of the biddulph tambourine- didnt change my mind

Of course girls seeing their mothers going out to work will be at an advantage in later life. Girls usually look up to and want a mum they can respect so having a working mum is a better role model than a SAHM who doesn't pay her own way.

Don't understand why this would apply in the early years. Daughters can still look up to mums who works at a later point.

I can see how sons would gain as well. The message being that women are equal members of society.

Of course, there are some families circumstances that prevent a mum working I meant to add.

Just nice to see a positive survey in favour of working mums.

I'm sure it's been said, but I'm too lazy I don't have time to read all the pages of this thread...

Why on earth are these surveys always about working mums. I'd love to see a survey about the effect of having working parents on children. Would any man give a shit if someone said him going to work may negative affect his children? No, of course not, because going him not going to work is going to have an even more negative effect. I don't get why the same doesn't apply to women. Why is this even an issue?

Maybe the reason fathers are not surveyed is because their role in a childs life has been seen mainly as financial providers.

Would be interesting for surveys to establish that without the need for financial assistance does a child lose out without a father in it's life. Might be difficult to measure as all this stuff is, so whats the point?

inherent assumption for some=man earn wage,woman sahm
so those sahm cant really explore the man as earner impact upon kids critique because as sahm they are wholly reliant upon working male wage.

AnnieLobeseder- they did include dads working (although not sure if this was reported by the mums who are the main ones answering the questions). The research confirmed that those who have the worst social and behavioural outcomes in the early years are those with single mums and in households where no-one is working, which is pretty consistent with other studies, and likely to be due to obvious stuff like poverty and higher levels of PND.

Working9while5, your grandma's sad experience pretty much sums up why it is better for most women to work, in terms of having financial independence, less likely to be depressed, trapped in abusive situations etc.

I don't find it surprising that people ignore well-designed studies for several reasons. These studies tell us about general patterns but not how things might play out in our own individual lives. It may be true that in general SAHM are more likely to get depressed, for example, but doesn't mean we will if we stay home. Similarly, if you go out to work, you may personally not get the benefits in terms of lots of money, using your education, if you have a nervous breakdown or are constantly stressed. ome children who go to nursery may be more aggressive (if you believe that research) but if yours isn't personally, why is this a concern for you in your life decisions. I read some research which said grandparent care wasn't as good overall as nursery- how does this affect me personally when my mum is a wonderful carer for my child? I'd be crazy to take my children away from my mum and send them to nursery on this basis!

Also, each study is quite limited as of itself, this one has no non-white people in, for example, so tells us pretty much nothing about the effect of working patterns on non-white children, a pretty big group to exclude (why were they excluded, by the way? Is there not enough data, was it a deliberate exclusion on some basis?)

I personally don't work because I have to (I do) or because I have read studies that say it is fine, I work because I believe I have something to contribute, and find it personally satisfying.

My question is why do we all care so much about what other people think? I am still only pg with DC1 and I obsess constantly about what family, friends, strangers, in-laws, the Daily Mail think, and rationally I know it just doesn't matter! Is guilt an in-built female quality or is it that society judges us so harshly for our choices that it would take a rhino hide not to care? or is it that we genuinely worry that we're harming our kids? because surely anyone who cares so much about their choices is bound to get it broadly right.

Conchita, I felt very self-conscious in my first year about what others thought and how they were judging my parenting, however, it has worn off and although occasionally I cringe, most of the time I don't mind too much what others think, especially about choices in relation to working. I think once you see your children growing up nicely, then all the stresses about whether they had an absolutely optimal environment aged 6 months evaporate a bit.

'so having a working mum is a better role model than a SAHM who doesn't pay her own way.'
I disagree. I am contributing just as much. Dh couldn't work without me doing the childcare of our 5DC. He works shifts/away. I think i am a good example to my DC. That a partnership is what counts. I used to work and DD1 went to f/t nursery. So they know i have done whatever suits s at the time. We do it all on our own. Why would it be better to involve a third party? (childcare).

I would have thought the best thing for children is parents who love and support them.

Until I joined MN (maybe because I'm a man) I'd never heard of this sahm/wohm dispute.

I don't think it matters if you work or not.

Stop the arguing, think of the children, won't somebody please think of the children.

the point of the study is not to say that being a sahm is bad but rathar that being a working mum isn't. To me it's obvious that it's nothing to do with SAHM vs WOHM.

I think most people don't care what others do as long as they are happy with what they are doing. I am a SAHM but am glad women have choices to work if they want. But it seems a very few working mums want all women in work even if it isn't best for them or what they want. Maybe they feel bad deep down and would feel better if everyone was doing it the same as them?

And how can it be objective reporting on your own child's behaviour, especially if some spend little time with their children (the report noted this as a major drawback). I know lots of people who think their kids are little angels but they are certainly not!!

Haven't read the whole thread, but so long as it doesn't affect their education, I am all for children earning their keep.

My mother has worked from me being a baby. She worked anti-social hours often leaving us with a baby-sitter or grandparents. It never affected us at all. Both me and my brother never felt abandoned, unloved or neglected and both of us have good jobs.

Now that I'm pregnant, I'm feeling torn. 1/3 of me wants to return to work full time, 1/3 of me wants to go part-time and the other 1/3 wants me to give up completely. I think for me it's knowing someone else may witness the first milestones before me and someone else taking my child to school and picking him/her up. My confusion is down to my own needs rather than my child's - not to say that they won't be affected by my decisions.

Jellybeans, it's science. There's quite a lot of work on questionnaire design at a very high level and believe me they'll have considered all of this and more.

There are a few SAHM mums who think all women in work are not doing what's right for their kids too. It swings both ways.

There are plenty of people who think their kids are angels when they're not who spend lots of time with them too!

My mum had between two to three jobs when I was little but, she always made a massive effort when she was with me so that all of the time that we spent together was of the highest quality possible. She taught me how to knit and sew, make papier mache puppet, paint, bake, etc, etc. I can't say that I didn't feel a bit abandoned sometimes, nothing worse than always being the last waiting to be picked up from childcare but, both me and my sibling are all stable and happy people.
I'm now pregnant with my first child and to be honest, I think that I'll do something similar, luckily I won't have to work as hard as my mum but, I do work long hours sometimes. I'm taking certain measures to make sure that I'll be able to spend as much time as possible with the little munchkin :)

Mum2be79 - it's fantastic that you recognise the desire to stay at home is as much (or even more) about you that about your baby. I wish more women were honest about wanting to stay at home for themselves rather than pretending it was all about concern for their child's wellbeing. I hope that doesn't sound patronising....

The research doesn't surprise me either, and I am a very happy sahm, retraining to be a childminder. Even though I am a sahm I don't judge women who go back to work, and I also agree that there are selfish reasons why I want to be with my kids. The last five years of my life, being at home with my two boys, have been the happiest years of my life (apart from when I was travelling) but it doesn't mean that I don't respect and understand mums who work.

Cherrysodalover -
Beautifully put!

scottishmummy
so what if you receive such a call are you happy with your decisions?

Oh for absolute certainty and complete confidence! I am still working towards that.

Our decision for me to be at home comes at a cost - a career I loved, lack of money meaning compromises about what we can afford to do and where we can afford to live. Getting back to a point I can re-start a career is so much harder than I?d imaged. There are times the cost seems to high ? especially the times when the gamble of having only one income has gone against us ? when DH was made redundant out of the blue or the time he was seriously hurt.

I am surrounded by vocal people who seem to think being a SAHP is not acceptable these days -most of the time it is just annoying to be told I am lazy or my time is worth nothing but overall given our circumstances it was probably was the best decision for us. Most of the time I am happy with it and DH seems to have fewer doubts than me.

These calls fuel my doubts so I dislike them intensely. I also dislike the whole SAHP v WOHM as it is very polarised most people I know do a variety of part-time, WAHM, SAHP or WOHM over the course of their DC childhoods and very few I talk to think they have the permeate perfect solution with no compromises.

'having a working mum is a better role model than a SAHM who doesn't pay her own way.'

This is a very offensive statement.
I have worked for some years as a hospital doctor, and am currently a SAHM of 3 children. As anyone who looks after their own children full time knows, the work that a SAHM does is extremely demanding...despite being unpaid.
There is far more that our children can learn from and admire in their mothers than simply our ability to draw a healthy salary.
A mother who decides to sacrifice her personal prestige and ambitions so as to provide the best possible care for her children is providing an excellent role model. Her children will see her working hard to care for the family, and may even learn that not everything of value is valuable in financial terms, or indeed valued by others in society.
Marriage and family life are inherently about care and interdependence, and not at all about 'paying your own way'.

PianoClare, I completely agree - I remember very well my mum always being there for me before and after school and very fond memories of my childhood because of that. She was a good role model for me, and I hope that I will be a good role model for my kids. I want to be there for my kids just as she was there for me and my sisters.

Even if I don't 'work' I still an in independent person financially, as I have a number of flats that are all paid for and managed well and therefore make money every month. I also have investments which are making money (most of the time). And a pension. And I will go back to work when the time is right.