Mum blames school for not discplining her 10yo child; she doesn't have enough time.

[Hulababy]

BBC article

"The mother of a girl suspended from school 12 times has said she has no time to discipline her daughter - and has blamed her teachers."

Hmmm.

Your child...your responsibility. Surely?

you would not believe how many times teachers have thanked me for working with them to improve my kids behaviour. apparently most parents think its the teachers reaponsibility and nothing to do with them. wrong way round imo, i think its up to the parents first and teachers to help them

Stupid cow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the mother i mean

pathetic. if you can't be bothered to look after your kids, or don't hav e the "time" then you shouldn't have them in the first place.

why can't anyone ever take and responsibility for themselves anymroe? it's always someone else's fault.

I think that it is a total abomination for a mother to act in such a way!!!!!!!!
Maybe she ought to look at herself before blaming the teachers as at the end of the day, they are there to educate the children and teach them disaplin of humain society and culture, not to be their parents.
Obviously she has problems at home with her daughter, if it was that important to her, then why isnt she making the time to disiplin if that is the problem, although it sounds more like the daughter is attention seeking for her mother or anyone who will notice her attention!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...but if you read the article she says that she rang the school and asked them to be stricter.

The child is naughty and they send her home.

She hates school and wants to be at home and so she wins. The mum is working all day and isnt around to look after her.

I do agree that discipline begins at home but I think the school should be stronger about it. In Sept the school was criticised by Ofsted for its lack of discipline.

They should all be tougher IMO.

The school would be better to have a room to put her in with extra work or something to do. Dont end her home where she can do what she likes.

what is the matter with the woman ? Just what does being a parent involve then ?

My kids learnt from an early age not to brandish scissors and so on , it just doesn't take much time to be tough about things like that.

Wonder who brought it to public attention, probably not the school, I suspect.

yeah but why do they school need to be stricter? because she is badly behave in the first place!

it isn't up to school to deal with a violent child! why on earth should teachers put themselves at risk just because a mother wasnt' bothered about bringing her children up properly

This child obviously wants to be at home and so she is disobedient to get sent home! If they put her on her own in a room she would be less likely to misbehave.

I dont think that the mother has brought her kids up badly. She has 2 others who havent been a problem. She is now a single parent and obv struggling. I think the school and the parents should work together.

I know if my ds misbehaves I ask the nursery how they would deal with it and if he is the same at school as he is at home.

collision - who would be placed in that room with the girl all day? A teacher could not be spared surely, and it would not be wise to have one adult only with her anyway - places both the child and the teacher at risk.

agree with collision

she obv wants to be at home - she is - she wins!

Suspension has really lost its teeth as a disciplinary tool. I think some more creative solutions are needed to these kinds of problems.

Incidentally, I know the school mentioned in the article - it serves the massively disadvantaged Rowner estate, where loads of the kids don't bother with school anyway. They need to be getting the children in, not sending them home.

However, I agree that this girl's mother doesn't seem to have much to offer her. A teacher's job is to teach, not to make children teachable .

Agree in some way this girl may well believe she is winning by being sent home. Unfortunately, for us, the report does skate (perhaps necessarily) over her behavioural issues. It could be that she is just crying out for attention and lacks boundaries or it may be that she has a SEN, which both school and mum are struggling to deal with. Obviously the problem is ongoing and serious but I fail to see whose interest it serves to go public, as people will inevitably jump to their own conclusions.

hula...I know what you are saying and i dont think that the girl should be in the room all day. I meant that if she misbehaved and then saw all the kids were doing fun stuff or watching TV etc she would have more of a punishment by being in a room for half an hour doing extra maths. ATM she is being sent home unsupervised and having a ball!

I agree that being sent home is for most not a punishment, but wonder at what the alternatives are. My last school has an internal exclusion unit where the pupils started earlier and finsihed later than normal, had an earlier lunch time, and different break times. The lunches and breaks were taken inside the IEU. Pupils could only leave there for toilet breaks. Pupils were supposed to work on set work by their teahcers in silence at their desk.

However, this room had to be manned by a member of staff at all times, including before and after school, and at lunch time. And the room could only hold up to 6 pupils in it. Pupils were placed in there for varying time lengths, fom one day to a week. And teachers were asked to provide alternative work for these pupils, which obviously was likely to be different to the class materials, so more work load there too.

But it didn't really work. The same pupils were in and out all the time. And if there were more than one in at a time, their behaviour would deteriorate and the rules were broken straight away.

And staff felt compelled to volunteer to give up their lunch times and non-contact time to take turns to be in there.

I don't know the woman's personal circumstances so I wouldn't like to judge. She's having to work nights though, so that must be pretty hard going.

However I believe she has a point when she says "When your child goes out of your house and into school they are in their teachers' hands - it's their responsibility."

btw this story was also reported in the Daily Mail (!). Other parents seem to think the school is right and her behaviour is disruptive to the learning of others. School has already had a dodgy Ofsted report as regards discipline.

I do too, Spidermama, to a certain degree. I think parents and schools should work together.

What is the answer then, do you think, Hula?

I read it in the Daily Mail this morning LIZS and I do feel a bit sorry for the mother as she is obv struggling with more than one job to support the family.

I just think that by sending her home without any discipline is not a punishment. Extra maths would be!

No idea I'm afraid and deterioting pupil behaviour was one of the main reasons I left teaching in April and have no intentions of ever going back. I work in a prison now and feel much less at risk.

Teachers cannot do the discipline at school. To str=art with they are not allowed.

IMO I do belive that parents should teach their children the right and wrong ways to behave in different situations, and should follow up any problems together with the school. A 10yo should already know what behaviour is acceptable.

But this mum is just shrugging off the blame. She won't take responsibility for her daughter's behaviour. No chance this child will ever learn to do so either at this rate.

Collision - extra maths would not be deemed appropriate unles she had specificaslly been naughty in a maths class and missed maths work. In which case the punishment to catch up on missed work would be deemed fine. Other than that though it wouldn't. It would send the message out, according to eduction bids, that mats is an unpleasant subject and something to be endured. Which is a school is obviously the wrong message.

You see schools is all about the child's rights now.

poor kid - let's hope her path changes otherwise she's headed for disaster.

This is the line that stood out for me:

"Because I have to go to work I don't have time to be strict."

Really?! FGS!

but surely whoever looks after her in the evenings while the mother's at work has time to be strict? or is she just some feral kid who doesn't actually get looked after much at all?

No, have been hulababy for ages and ages. Hercules is someone else.